No access to our money during my husband's deployment?

Question

am a SAHM and my husband is deploying- in fact, he leaves tuesday. He decided a month ago that we would have separate checking accounts. Fine. However, by some cosmic s***w-up we were given incompatible accounts and cannot transfer money back and forth. He insists on separate accounts b/c of all the guys he's known who've come back from iraq and their wives have cleaned them out completely. I wouldn't but he thinks anyone who doesn't do this is a fool. Anyway, since he can't transfer money to me for bills and food, I'm allowed to go into his account to use the online bill pay option to pay bills, and if necessary use it to send a check to myself- it takes nearly a week to arrive. We were given the option to get me as his power of attorney- and he refuses to do this also. He added my father in law as an emergency user on the account, but I cannot be added- some bs from the bank because of eligibility for different accounts. So, if necessary, I can call my father in law and meet up with him to get money, but I don't like it. I rarely ask anyone for help for anything at all and I hate the thought of having to ask him to get me money so I can go grocery shopping. It's like being a kid and begging for my allowance. It's degrading. Also, when I said this, he suggested I think about it like child support, which I think is worse, since we're married and all. What should I do?

we've tried getting credit cards before, and our credit just isn't good enough, so it isn't an option. I also don't have anyone who could help out with the kids so I could find a job, let alone help out until I could afford childcare- it's super expensive here for two kids.

Usually, he's pretty great, but all this came out of the blue. No warning- just BAM.

Answer 1

Sorry.

Just another of life's speed bumps to be worked out.

See if you can find some time to talk to him about it before Tuesday, have a plan in mind to fix the screwup.

Luck

Make an estimate of what you'll need for the kids on a monthly basis, he can set up an automatic transfer, (if he can't, get a new bank.....), it won't cover emergencies, but it's a start.

Answer 2

Id be upset. But you have to think of all the things that guys go through when they return to the US. I understand his point but he is taking it too far. Tuesday is coming up soon. I'm not sure how you would fix this by then. I'm sorry.  

Answer 3

He's not trying to hurt you he just wants to protect himself. Ask him if he can set up a new account and transfer some money into that one for when he's away. That way it won't be all his money but it'll save you from having to go around collecting money from his dad.