No babies for me? Am i being selfish?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now and eveything was great til last night. There is an age gap between us as well but that does not bother us. The problem is he has had 7 kids to 2 previous wives all up and has said he doesn't want anymore. I haven't had the chance yet to have any kids of my own and i really want at least one. I was crushed when he said that and cried for hours. Am i being selfish? Should i just give up hope of ever having a child with him or just try to change his mind? If changing his mind is the answer how do i do that?

Answer 1

Personally I suggest you find the right one for you, with your first child I would assume youd want a man that can give the new baby just as much attention and love as you would and for someone that has 7 kids, I dont think thats possible.  Remember, when you are "WITH" someone, all their kids become your own too, do you really want all that?

Answer 2

i feel that if you don't have a child you will regret it. you should really think about your relationship. feels you are not in the same place with your lives and you can't make him want more kids. i really feel that if you go without having a child you will miss out. you need to have a relationship with someone who is in the same place as you. if that's out of the question i feel you two really need to discuss it a little more and also you need to hear him out as he does you. having a child is a big step in life something that should not be discussed lightly. good luck with everything

Answer 3

It might be time to reevaulate your relationship. You both want different things out of life, and it is not fair to expect either of you to change. If you choose not to have children because of him, you are probably going to really resent him someday. And if you force him to play along with you, he is going to resent you and the child.

Sorry, but it might be time for you to move on, and find someone who has similar goals for the future.

Answer 4

Why should you have to pay for his mistakes? How selfish of him. Tell him you want kids, with him. If he says no either get pregnant by "accident" or find another less selfish man. I'm not for trapping a guy by getting pregnant but 3 yrs is a long time to invest in a relationship that clearly has 2 different people wanting totally different things.

Answer 5

You are not being selfish and he should have told you before now. I had this problem with my x husband and he did not tell me untill we were married and had been together for 5 years. We got divorced and 3 months later ended up pregnant.... Don't know how that happend (Yes I know how :), but good luck honey.