No longer comfortable with thought of retirement?

Question

My husband left me rather than listen to anything negative about his cleaning lady whom he feesl sorry for (came back a few hours later). Some history...She's married to my brother, told me 4 years ago that he only had 18 months to live but he doesn't want the family to know. I don't care what anyone thinks, that is a sick lie.

A year ago she told my husband I had been lieing and spreading rumors about her. She was yapping instead of cleaning??. He defended her but finally realized I hadn't said a thing about her.

Lately he has been trying to talk me into retiring. I'm remembering that for a couple of hours, when my husband of 34 years walked out in support of another woman, I was so thankful that I had a good job and could support myself. I don't know how to tell him that this is the reason I hesitate to leave my job. I don't want to start another argument over this woman who is clearly not worth the effort.

He always says once a woman (or man I guess) cheats on her spouse, she is a cheater and you can never trust her again. So I am thinking that if he walked out on me so easily once, albeit he came back and has been wonderful ever since, I fear he could do it again.

What should I tell him if he keeps asking why I won't retire?

Answer 1

sorry but you sound like a complete nightmare to live with. He went out for a couple of hours he didn't leave you. Also 'his cleaning lady' is in fact family. If you go on like this at home I am surprised he has not gone permanetly  

Answer 2

I think you are wise to postpone retiring, given the circumstances.

Reasons to give (pick what works):

1. You like your work

2. You don't think the fund is big enough.

3. Continued health benefits

4. Retirement is boring

Here are some articles:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/06/2...

http://www.philforhumanity.com/7_Reasons...

Answer 3

"First of all, darling, I love my job. Second, I feel strong and confident when I can bring home a paycheck. Third, retiring would make me feel old. I'm just not ready."

Sounds like there are some other issues at play. After 34 years, I say it's worth working out.  

Answer 4

tell him how you love your job and get so much satisfaction from it

Answer 5

Tell him that you are not ready to retire yet and that you are wanting to get a pension from work or social security or whatever, before you will be ready.  If he doesn't understand that then I really don't know what else you could do.

Answer 6

You say he says once a cheater, always a cheater. Why not use that reasoning against him?  You've been betrayed before and you have a right to be worried. Tell him you will decide when you are ready to stop working but until then he needs to get off your back.

I honestly don't know what to say about the cleaning lady business because I don't know what your question was there. Maybe you shouldn't have her cleaning your house if you guys don't get along though.

Answer 7

Tell him how you honestly feel.  He's your husband and he should listen and compromise,just as he would expect you to do.