No one answered before so i'll try one more time =P What do you think?

Question

No one is good not even one

The front pages of papers of children raped by rapist

Iraqi torture chambers and we the blame claim we're blameless

Wrong all

And swelling up inside of us there's this pride in us this arrogance

And our only line of defense is the sense that

Im not as half as bad as this friend of mine so I must be fine

We mean well don't we

Yet I've never seen good intentions set a man free from

Hurt all

This poor unfortunate soul

Filling a single void with toy after toy with girl after boy

How boring this wasn't this meant to be Humanity's life story

Warring with Good saying what have you done for me

Bough all

Hanging out for six hours marred beyond recognition

In complete submission to his fathers will still

A proclamation was made louder than the loudest temptation

With more beauty than all his creation

More eternal than eternity more angelic than the heavenlies

It Is done for you and bought with blood

Accept

Rejoice

For freedom has come

Answer 1

I accept!

This is powerful.  I loved it.  First you showed the horrors, then, almost as an afterthought, you remind us that we are free if we accept the Lord.

Well done!

T.

Answer 2

Though an Atheist myself, I found this poem powerful and poignant

edit: I wouldn't worry about noone answering your first try, I have just asked a question in R&S and have not received any answers because my question is not on the R&S main board, so how are poeple going to find the question, YA is really slipping.

Answer 3

We live in an imperfect world, and lacking perfection ourselves have no recourse but to accept the imperfections and seek what is better.

We can become bogged down with things that depress us.  To do so is to succumb to the tragic aspects of it all and to miss the better things that bless our lives.

You speak to that in which we hope.  I am an optimist.  I hope you are as well.  If we do not hope for better things and better choices then we do face a barren world with little encouragement.

Thank you for ending on that sort of note.

Answer 4

"Everyone has turned away, they have together become corrupt; there is no-one who does good, not even one" (Psalm 53:3).

You make the point beautifully and powerfully.

It is obvious to me that the last part of the poem refers to Jesus, as he suffered and died on the cross. It is obvious to me that he paid the ultimate price so that humanity can be saved and freed from sin. But it may not be obvious to other readers who are not familiar with God's plan for salvation.

Thank you for sharing those thoughts with us.

Answer 5

hey!!...wonder why no one answered before...

the content of your poem is awesome.......its so touching.....

however i wonder if you could make it a little more lyrical...of course its still very beautiful without making any changes . but in poems rhyming scheme also matters a bit....

anyway it ws good to see that there people who care about the happenings of this world....

good luck writing more such poems... :)

Answer 6

i dont know its good, but it would probably be better to hear it in spoken word form. aside from that i couldnt help but feel i was being preached at to an extent. no offense. perhaps if you could put it in more rehtorical terms. then again that might lose it some of its forcefullness but its really up to you.  

Answer 7

amazing grace ,thank you.

Answer 8

wow that's really good

it perfectly captures our world and that we are just pushing the needing aside

awesome