No young children???

Question

We are having an elegant wedding and reception and would like to tastefully ask our guests not to bring children under the age of 10.

What is the best way to do this?

Answer 1

Wow that's a hard one. Good Luck

Answer 2

At my moms wedding there were no children aloud. And all she did was on the invitation, no children please.

and no one brought any.

its much better when there aren't kids running around

Answer 3

It's your day! I'm also requesting no children at my wedding. On the response card we put " Heather and Jason request no small children"  Not everyone will like it but they should be happy for an excuse for a night out without them!

Answer 4

My Mom had a simple solution to this. She only invited people who had children over the age of 12. The only kids there will be the flower girl and ring barrier..

Answer 5

I put "no children please" on my invitations.  

I didn't have any there .... Not even a flower girl.

Answer 6

There is no tasteful way of doing this , because it's not a tasteful thing to do. It says the moey spent on your wedding is more important thaan your family imo.

Answer 7

dont bash the kids! sometimes they r funning & make 4 a very memorable wedding. u always want ur wedding 2 b different than every1 elses. so if a flower girl is sticking her tongue out at a classmate every time she looks out, so what, u have ammo one her when shes 20!

Answer 8

depends how mature the kids r

Answer 9

We are arranging babysitting for our reception. We rented a suite in the hotel and hired two babysitters with a possible third if there are more than six kids. The suite has a Wii and dvd players on all three tvs and we are having McDonalds brought to them. Later the suite will be cleaned by the hotel and ready for us. We added info in the invitation fact sheet about this and asked that they make their reservation for the babysitter.

Answer 10

I like Jana's idea of writing:

To: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Total Invited: 2

Total Attending: ____

I also think it would be a good idea to state somewhere on the invitation about it being an adult reception for adults and children over 10 years of age. That way, people who have young children won't get angry when they arrive and see that you have invited 11 or 12 year olds but not their children.

Another option would be to offer a babysitting service for children under 10 or put an insert into the invitation telling guests that you have a list of recommended babysitters for children under 10 if they need it.

Answer 11

"There will be an adult reception for our guests."

You might want to help arrange a babysitting service to be polite.  Then you can include that by saying, "There will be babysitters avaliable for children under 10.  We ask that you use them as we would like an adult reception"

Answer 12

"Adults only reception" should do the trick.  I don't want  kids at my wedding, however there will be some exceptions.  The general rule is that if they are in the bridal party, or their parents are traveling from out of state, they can come to my wedding. All the other kids, I don't want there.  I only have room for 230 guests, and I'm sorry to say that kids are not on my top list of people I would want to share my day  with.  

I definietly understand what you are saying, and it has nothing to do with being CHEAP. People who think that's the case must not "get it."

Answer 13

just make a note that there will be ALCOHOL and please respect that children should not be in attendance under the age of ...whatever.  

some people like the wedding to be a 'family' affair and some do prefer a more adult environment.

Answer 14

1.  make sure and address invitations to Jane and Joe Doe.  Not "the doe family"

2.  Put in small print either at the bottom of the invite or RSVP cards "No children under 10 please".   Just saying "No children please" is not enough since people's opinion on the age when somebody is no longer a child can differ.

3.  If you fear that people will still try and bring their kids then have the names already filled in on the RSVP cards if you are using them.  That makes it very clear who can and can't come

Offering a babysitter is a very thoughtful option.  Be prepared for some of your guests to decline the invite if their children can't come too and you may get a few rude phone calls.  This is a very hot button issue and nobody can understand why you wouldn't want their little angels to attend so they can run wild.  You also MUST make this rule apply to everbody.  You can't let your niece come just because she's the flower girl or because you are close and then leave out your cousin of a similar age since he's a brat.

Answer 15

somewhere on the invitation, just put "sorry, no children to attend please"

if you are really iffy about wording it on the invites then you could just tell people personally.

And...i agree with you on the no children thing completely!!

Answer 16

The best way to handle this is to address the invitations to

Mr and Mrs. only. Then have your mother  tell  friends it is an adults only wedding. If people RSVP for more than 2 people you call them and tell them you have a limit and no children are allowed. You are wise not to let little ones ruin your special day.

Answer 17

My cousin got married in January, and on the card that you had to bring with you to the reception, they requested that no children under 16 be present. There was a hotel right across the street, and they had sitters to sit with the children. In the room, they had like an XBOX 360 and other game systems. Plus, my cousin and his wife arranged for food to be delivered so they had it nicely arranged. They asked in a tasteful manner so people didn't complain.

Answer 18

There really is no easy way to tell your guests that their beloved children are not invited. The most subtle approach is to spread the "no children" restriction by word of mouth. If you are looking for a more "formal" statement, here are two ways that avoid putting the bad news directly on the invitation:

On the reception card:

'We kindly request no children under the age of 10'

or

On the response card:

Please respond on our before (Date)

M_________________

Number of Adults and Children over 10____

or

When you send out the invitation only put the names of the guests you want to invite.

Answer 19

y'know if you are going say 'no children' then say 'no children'.  i think if you set an age limit you are going to run into issues with all the fawning parents of the world.  for example:  

"our julie is nine and far more behaved than their son whose 1.  so julie can come - right?"  

"junior is going to be ten in two months, can he come?"

"well you let junior come and our ricky is only a month younger  than junior, so can he come?"

and on and on and on.................

and thats just the beginning of the belly aching you'll hear - better to say no children and leave it at that!

good luck and have a happy wedding!

Answer 20

Due to the fact this reception will be carried out very elegantly and we will be holdin the ceremony very formally ,we request you not to bring children under the age of 10. thank you

Answer 21

I don't think you can make that work.  Either no children or children, plain and simple.  We are getting married in Vegas but two of my girlfriend's children will be in gowns at our reception at home.  There are a total of 8 kids on our list, that's it.  You have to be careful with this one, you can alienate a lot of people.

Answer 22

You should put the request in your invitation and use gentle intelligent words, also use phases like "Kindly," "Sorry for the inconvenience," "With all do respect," "Best regards,"  and most of all thank you

Answer 23

As per sites like theknot.com it is utterly and totally legitimate and acceptable to host an adult-only reception. People do it all the time and parents I know have been thrilled at the opportunity for a night out for adult entertaining and make the necessary arrangements either on their own or in formation as offered by you, the couple.

Adult only right on the invitation is a bit too direct though, so say the experts. As some people have mentioned the more indirect approach is a bit more palatable for such a sensitive subject: tell parents,wedding party, close friends and relatives to spread the word.

On a very elegant invitation and formally, as also some others have mentioned, the names mentioned on the card are the ONLY people invited. (ie Mr Smith and Mrs Smith as opposed to Smith family). As these people have to RSVP anyway, you will find out quickly who is not observant and RSVPs their children will be coming also, at which time you can call them and explain (budget constraints covers a lot of situations). Certainly some won't be happy but stick to your guns, as it is your wedding and your decision about who is invited. DO not make exceptions.

As was also mentioned, if this is met with a lot of resistance, hire a babysitter or more - someone above mentioned hotel room, Wii, pizza party or something. Then everyone is happy!

Good luck!

Answer 24

All you have to do on their RSVP card is to put

"To: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith (2)"

or

To: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Total Invited: 2

Total Attending: ____

That way they will know that only 2 people are allowed to attend.

Answer 25

I would not limit it to children under ten.  I would include all children.

It's very simple...Adults Only Reception.

As a parent,  I prefer Adult Only Receptions, so you have my support.

*If someone can't leave their kids for a few hours then they have a problem and not you.

Answer 26

I think all the suggestions are great.  We had an adults only reception but made a few exceptions for out of town guests as it would have been really hard for them to find a babysitter they trusted.

Just as an FYI (from my personal experience) be prepared... even when people don't RSVP for their children... they sometimes bring them anyways!

Answer 27

Address the card to the specific people who are invited:

Mr. and Mrs. Raymond Smith

Allison and Nicholas (who are over 10 but NOT Shane who is 5).

People are generally very polite and will get the hint.

Be sure you have an RSVP card so that if they RSVP for five you can have your mother or a bridesmaid call to say the reason it was made out for four was because no children under 10 are invited.

If people show up at the ceremony with clearly younger children you can have your ushers escort them to the back to sit with their young children and hand them a card with the name of some babysitting services for the reception and a note about ``Since we are having a formal wedding and reception we request no children under 10 and have provided numbers of babysitting services for your convenience.`` OR ``My neighbor Madeline Green has graciously agreed to babysit during the reception at her home 1121 Westlawn Avenue for ALL children under ten for $2 per hour per child. Ushers can provide a map.``

That should cover it.

It would be a bit tacky to actually spell it out in the invitation. Make sure your invitations are very formal and that you are clear on the inner envelope about who is invited.

If you feel you must because your DAY would be ruined by an eight year old sneaking in you can have a little line at the bottom of the RSVP card.

Because of the venue for our ceremony and reception we ask that families with children make other arrangements for those under ten years old.

I actually find that a bit rude and wouldn`t do it but if you really are turning away all children under ten I guess you could...not really very friendly though.