Question:

Non Bio-dad adoption?

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I'm pregnant and the bio-dad took off soon after we found out. Now i'm w/ a new guy and he's been helping me out so much threw this pregnant and we're thinking about getting married and I was wondering how i'd go about having him be listed under father on the birth certificate. Me and the bio-dad were never married or anything like that.

Also, I live in California

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  1. Marry before the baby is born then he will be the legal father and his name will go on the birth certificate.  You have quite a few men who have to pay child support to a child that are not biological theirs but are legally theirs because they were married to the mother at the time of the birth. In many cases even if they proof thus child is not their biological , doesn’t matter.  Even if the bio father did pop up again if again this man is the legal father because you all got married before the baby was born, in some cases there would be nothing he could do. Since courts often favor the legal father.  If your not married the he could try to get rights however  the fact he abandoned you during your pregnancy and who knows if he will show or, it could be years. That does not bode in his favor.


  2. Well, I don't think that your new guy should sign the birth-certificate, as the chance of your ex comming back to claim your child would still linger, then you might have to go through courts, and then have a DNA test, which could get really ugly.

    The new guy can adopt him with no problem, as there is no name for paternity on the birth certificate, the adoption process would go smoother, and he would be lawfully, and emotionally (as it seems he is already) the father of your child, he would have every responsiblity, and care for the child!

    Check your local juristiction, or contact a family law lawyer in your county first, and see if they can help you scope out where to look for local laws and state ones to see what you are limited (if at all) too. The biological dad took off, so that would be abandonment of a child, and tell the lawyer/judge of juristiction about your situation, most cases, they will work with you with no problems.

    PS: Also call the hospital, I believe the babies father has to be present in the hospital at the time of birth to clain the child as their own (at least that is how it is in NY) check with them as well  to be safe to see how it works in CA!

    Best of luck, and well wishes!!

  3. He has to sign over his parental rights.

    You do this and he can sue you for alot of money and you can lose custody of the child

  4. In some states, if you're married, your husband is automatically the "legal father" of the child. I'm not sure if this applies in California.  

    While you may be able to put the new bf on the birth certificate, is it a good idea?  If you are NOT married when this child is born, the bf may decide to back out.  He'll be responsible to pay child support should you two break up. You may have paternity suit on your hands at that point.

    Do you really want to rush into marriage with the new guy? It's great that he's been helping you out.  And who knows, he may turn out to be the man you spend the rest of your life with.  Let that happen naturally.  Be sure you two take the time to get to know each other.  

    Your decisions from this point on will affect not just you, but your child as well. Don't complicate your situation any further.  Take care of yourself and your child first.  

    If the bio dad doesn't want to be a part of this child's life, he may be willing to sign off his rights rather than paying child support.  In that case, the new bf can adopt your child if and when he commits to being a permanent part of your life.  

    Your child will one day want to know his or her bio-dad. Keep dad's information and give it to your child when he or she are old enough and request the information.

    Good luck to you and your new little one.

  5. Be honest. Put the real dad's name on the birth records and then inform him of his child if he take responsibly of the child great if he doesn't want to be in the child's life ask him to sign over his rights and then when you get married you husband can adopt. nothing good comes out of a lie.

  6. Its pretty tricky ..its so great u have found a person that is willing to help out so much knowing he is not the biological father of the baby u are expecting. But u have to be very aware that once u give this man the same amount of legal rights like yours over your baby, there is no turning back, I hope u know him well enough to make such a major choice, I hope you know his family , where he comes from and his intentions, I am a very protective single mother, and I would wait to see how he interacts with the baby first, how u also function as a family and how much he grows to love your baby as his, also u have to have similar parenting techniques, etc...I hope u take the choice for the right reason and not cause u feel obligated to, because of all the help he has given, I would also make a last effort to contact the baby's biological father to sign off rights so u do not have any legal problems later.., but uf the dude has shown no sign of interest whatsoever, go along with what you feel is right for you and the baby ,  ...good luck!

  7. If you are married to your guy when the child is born, then you will be able to list him on the birth certificate as the father.  Children born in a marriage are legally the husband's children whether he is the biodad or not (until he contests and proves the child isn't his & even then sometimes the judge will still rule that he is the father).  But you still have the risk that the ex can pop back up later and contest the paternity and create havoc in your lives.

    Your other alternative is to hire a lawyer, attempt to locate your ex and have him sign away his parental rights so that your husband can adopt the child.  In many places if you can't find him, then you will have to run an ad in the paper for so many weeks and then after a certain amount of time w/o hearing from him his rights are revoked and you are allowed to proceed with the adoption.

    One way you may have to rush into a marriage before you are ready.  The other way is a bit more legally binding and you don't have the worries of the ex popping up unexpectedly at an inconvenient time.

    Good Luck.

  8. umm im not sure what the question is but did u say ur dad left u just because u got pregant

  9. If you are married before the baby is born, by law, your husband is the dad. Doesn't matter that anybody else is biologically the dad.  This is true everywhere in the country.

    However, rushing into marriage has a tendency to backfire and then this guy is stuck for the support until the kid is 18.

  10. I would say that if he signs the birth certificate then he claims that child as his and would take all financial responsibilities on then no one would be the wiser on who the actual father is.

  11. Even though he took off, don't you think your child has a right to know who his/her biological father is?  5- 10- 15 years from now, what happens when your child finds out the truth, that you lied and that his/her "real" father's name isn't on the birth certificate?

    It may not seem important now, but at least consider your child's rights and feelings.  And I'd consider trying to contact the bio-father and talking to him about this, he does have rights too.
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