Non custodial parent/child visitation question?

Question

My husband and his ex gf are drawing up legal papers regarding custody and visitation. Before any of you go off on child support, he pays child support and provides health insurance. He also covers one half of the balance that insurance does not cover. My question is about the holiday visitation schedule. My husband wants to rotate all holidays. He is willing to take even years for easter, thanksgiving, and either christmas eve or day. That would give his ex Halloween, and Christmas Day on even years, then vise versa on the odd years. She only wants to rotate the Thanksgiving holdiay. She wants their daughter every christmas eve, then christmas day until noon. My husband does not want to agree to this. Is there a law or some guidelines regarding this? If it matters, we live in Ms.

Answer 1

No.  She can't do that, unless it says so in visitation papers already.  I have never heard of one parent being able to have the child every holiday, especially Christmas.  I know lawyers are expensive, but if he doesn't have one get one.  It is the best thing he can do.  Unfortunately, my husband learned that lesson the hard way.  (Note:  I did not know him until he had been divorced for 2 years.  I do know he got screwed though and we are trying to get more visitation now.)  I don't know any judge that would grant this request of hers.  Good luck.

EDIT:  Google it.  I know for AR there is a "master" the judges go by.  The judge has the ultimate decision, but there is a baseline out there.  It specifically lists out the holiday rotations (about odd and even years) it also talks about summer vacations and things like that.  I would look into it.

Answer 2

I have no doubt the courts will order alternate Christmas Days! Something like 12pm Christmas Eve to 12pm Christmas Day, swapping each year!

She cant argue something which is fair for both parties and in the childs best interest!

Answer 3

Dear Amanda,

Different states, different rules.  You can look up the custody rules for your state by using Yahoo! Search and you can educate yourselves on what Mississippi allows with child custody laws.  MOST states DO specify about rotating holidays and odd and even year custody.  Your husband's ex is not solely in control here.  I know you both feel helpless with her having physical custody, but gently and firmly insisting that fair is fair is perfectly acceptable.  I would have all of this handled through a lawyer when/if things get "sticky" between all of you.  Saves hard feelings from happening.  Your husband is doing the right thing concerning support for the child (much more than most other exes do), and he deserves a fair shake on visitation.

Good luck!

Answer 4

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Answer 5

My ex and I went through something like this. Our legal papers say we alternate holidays, as your bf is wanting to do. For Christmas it says even years i get the kids from the time school is out until christmas at noon and he gets them from christmas noon until the day that school goes back into session (this was set even b4 my kids were school aged).  The lawyers told us it was "standard visitation" schedule.  

My ex and I thought it  better to share all holidays.  I get them 1/2 the day, he gets them 1/2 the day no matter who's holiday it is "suppose" to be.  That way our kids get to see both sides of the family every holiday.  Legally though, unless he agrees to give her every Christmas day, then that won't happen. A judge will set it to every other holiday

Answer 6

i dont think there is a law regarding all this.. if there was, my man wouldnt have to be fighting with his ex for time on holidays.... they either have to come to some kind of agreement, and make it permanent in front of the judge, or, if they cant agree, one of them needs to hire a guardian at litem, a childs lawyer who works in the childs best interests to make the parents come to an agreement, or tell the judge what is best... its get fishy, sticky and hairy and very unfair when parents cant agree - and thats very selfish of his ex to do that to the child... cause really, thats who it is going to effect... not ever being able to wake up to her dad on xmas morning -ex's are such a pain.... good luck!

Answer 7

Ask you lawyer.

Answer 8

If at all possible, they should try to work this out without involving the courts.  My divorce calls for us to alternate all holidays.  It's only natural, though, for parents to want to spend important holidays with their children.  There is always a way to make this happen so that everyone gets what they need.  In our case, I conceded every Thanksgiving.  His family usually has a big gathering and mine doesn't, so it makes sense for them to have that opportunity to see extended family.  He has them Christmas eve every year until about 4:00 pm so they can do the holiday thing with his side of the family.  They're here for the remainder of Christmas eve through about 3:00 Christmas day.  That gives a chance for them to spend time with my side of the family and to have Christmas morning in their primary residence.  We just wing it and do whatever works for the other holidays and vacations.  Really, what should be done is whatever works best for the kids and everyone should be willing to think outside of the box.

Answer 9

Unless you address the situation in court, not much can be done.. there is no law or guideline...people usually try to find a middle ground.

My family lives far, so having christmas day and eve divided was impossible... So my ex-husband and I are going to alternate christmas and new years... this year, I get christmas, he get new year. I get all easters, which my ex agreed with, and all other holidays are going to be divided... I have full legal and physical.

Answer 10

Well if they end up going to court, the judge will most definitely grant a rotating schedule for christmas.