Non custodial parent wants vacation time with kids, however,

Question

he will not be going on this vacation due to work issues, instead his girlfriend/domestic partner will be going out of state on this vacation with the kids, the kids do not want to go, our stipulation does not have an out of state clause and he is asking for 8 days versus the normal 7 days allowed per vacation time. Do I have to allow him this vacation request and allow her to take the kids out of state without him?

Answer 1

i wouldn't allow...

Answer 2

Don't let them go.  If they don't want to go, then leave it alone.  They do not need to be going out of state with a non-legal guardian/parent.  

NO, you do not have to allow it.... Just tell him this.....

It is their vacation time with you... either you go, or the kids stay with me till you can get the time off.  

Answer 3

The visitation is with him, not a third party.  Call your lawyer and ask, but I don't think they have to go with her.  She isn't involved in the divorce and has no visitation time.

Answer 4

My children wouldn't be going. I would check with your attorney though.

Answer 5

No way!!!  If he wants to see his kids, why send them away w/ someone else.  I'd tell him to think again.

Answer 6

1)  You do not have to allow the children to leave state, but if everything else is up and up .I would let them.

2)  If he is not going and the kids don't want to go....don't let the kids go

3) The entire idea of visitation s to be with the father.  If he is not going, its dumb for the kids to go..

Answer 7

The girlfriend is nothing to these children and should not be in put in charge of their care whatsoever.  I would contact my attorney to make sure this does not happen.

Answer 8

No. SHE does not have any visitation time. Too many men demand their rights just using the kids as property to show their control over, not as responsibilities to give of themselves for.

EG paternal grandmothers want custody, so the fathers go for it and then ditch the kids with their grandma all the time.

Don't do it.

Answer 9

All these answer from people are a little emotional and based on what they think you should do, not what you legally have to do. They all scream of "get that deadbeat b*****d!" While your ex may not be the best parent in the world, he still has rights as far as your children go, even as the non custodial.

If your ex has a court ordered week of vacation with the kids you have to give it to him, period. It is his right to do what he pleases during that week (within reason) whether you approve of it or not. If he chooses to send them on vacation with his partner, ship them off to summer camp, or "dump them on their grandparents" (as someone else stated), that is his business as long as they're safe and cared for. You can take the steps to bring him back to court to renegotiate this if you like, but you can't just suddenly deny him because you've decide that you don't like it.

You have a little wiggle room to try and deny him based on the fact that he's asking for more than the agreed upon time, and the fact that he wants to take them out of state. Again, if he's court ordered to only 7 days then you have the right to refuse the 8th day. If you're genuinely concerned about them going out of state then I suggest you seek remedy with a lawyer or you local family law facilitator. No one's the big boss here, you both have to stick to what you agreed on or what is court ordered.

And on a side note, please be cautious about relying on the fact that your children sate that they don't want to go. Children often tell you what they think you want to hear, so take it with a grain of salt. If they think you're unhappy about the arrangement it is very common for them to act like they don't want to go in an effort to please their mother. Don't be surprised if they're telling your ex's partner how excited they are to go on this trip.

Answer 10

No way in Hades!

If he isn't available, you can offer to reschedule for another time when he is available, otherwise, skip it.

His gf does NOT have parental rights, and you have no obligation to her, or to waive the rules about out-of-state.

That's just weird that he & she would even try to force that on you and the kids.

Answer 11

Visitation is with your ex-husband, not this person. If he was going to be there, you would have to let him go. No one has any legal ties to your children except for you and your husband. I would talk to your lawyer and let your ex know that the vacation is not happening!