Non-existent Libido?

Question

This is embarrassing, but my libido is virtually non-existent. I just never want to have s*x. I never feel horny...even though I would like to. I have had my hormones tested and they are normal, so it is not a hormonal imbalance. Does anyone else out there have this problem? What helps you fix this?! I am married and love my husband....I just never feel sexual...even though I really want to have a libido!! Help!

Answer 1

just relax,,,,,,,,,,,,,think about your first love,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,hope he is giveing you a lot of foreplay,,,,,,,,,,,,,,that helps,,,,,,,,,,,,,,lot of it,,,,,,,,,,,not just bang         bang        thank you mam,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Answer 2

You didn't give vital information about your family life, age, and if you have kids...but...let me offer a small piece of advice.

Libido is dependent on many variables. Just because the doctor said you have no hormone imbalance doesn't mean there isn't one. Libido is a combination of emotional input and chemical input.

Consider the following: (since I can't possibly know what is wrong)

add exercise (more fit and more active equals more s*x drive)

add time for you (emotional health equals happy and therefore more s*x drive)

add testosterone...(not shots, just stuff that balances out your male hormones- examples given later)

add extracurricular stuff like p**n/lingerie for your husband..as a horny husband will turn you on.

Libido is a delicate thing. I, for one, am in early menopause, hence, my libido has dropped to 10% of what it was 2 years ago. It is very hard to be turned on even with a very attractive, very sexual husband. Every day I have to concentrate on doing things that help me feel more sexual. I fantasize. I go to the gym. I try to be fit. I try to turn my husband on.

Does it work? Yes. But it is still a challenge. I have little lubrication. This is a big deterrent for me...but still I get beyond it.

Research indicates that s*x drive is related to your ovulation cycle and intrinsic amounts of testosterone in your body. Women have testosterone, just small amounts that are overridden by estrogen and progesterone.

I believe that your hormones must be significantly off before a doctor would register this problem. If you don't feel like you want to feel, you are off hormonally or perhaps you are emotionally off.

Examine your symptoms. Think hard. Don't dismiss something...really think about it. Is your husband chunky? Does he not give good foreplay? Do you think about your kids or your dogs needs first?

s*x is meant to be sharing. It is when you put each other first.

Experiment in your mind...and get your husband on the same page as you.

The solution is there....seek and you will find.

Answer 3

I think you need more practice

Answer 4

Hi Hon, as bad as I hate to admit it, I have the same problem.  Luckily, hubby and I have been married 12 years, and I can talk to him about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING!  I talked to him and told him what was going on...after faking it for a couple years!!  He understood completely and said it was nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.  From then on, he took control and does whatever it takes to 'get me there.'  He takes his time and focuses on ME.  He learned to hold back, take his time, and make sure I'm enjoying it just as much as he does.  

Foreplay helped tremendously and is now a part of every 'session.'  We also tried heating creams, and they've really helped out.  (Creams designed specifically for women.)  Try a make out session...act like you're teenagers and let your hands do the walking.  There are ways to get past it.  Just remember:  It's nothing you've done wrong...it's just the way some of us are.  You're not alone!  There are just some women who aren't comfortable admitting it.  It's like a man with a short p***s...no one really knows except his significant other.  You ask him?  It's 10 inches long!!

God bless you, Darlin'!

Answer 5

I was like that for the first 14 years of our marriage.  That all changed after I did accupuncture treatments for allergy problems.  For some reason it jump started my libido, and things have been going wonderful.  My hormones have always been normal as far as I know.  It was just a weird thing.  Don't be embarassed about it.  It was hard for me to talk about the first time I brought it up w/ a dr. but then I figured out that they talk about it all the time.  They are used to dealing w/ embarassing issues.

Answer 6

Well if its not hormones, its mental.  Whatever you guys are doing isnt working. Explore new things until you find something.  Try p**n, toys, costumes, whips, ropes, whatever.  Something is out there.

Answer 7

Talk over with your doctor.  There are other reasons besides hormones.  Also, don't know if kids are involved too?  

Maybe you just need to add some romance to the mix.  

Let him know that it is not because you are not interested in him, and ask him if he has any ideas that he would like to try, and then go with the flow.  

Try going out somewhere the two of you have never been.  Mix things up from your everyday life.

Answer 8

i know how you feel. try new things. toys, movies, positions and so on  

Answer 9

I don't know how long you've been married or whether or not you have kids (both play a part) but it's hard to feel like s*x goddess 24-7. Seems like you need more wining and dining in your life--a night away to rekindle things with your man where it's just the two of you,a quiet dinner, maybe a club or show and back to the hotel room. It's surprising how much a change of scenary boosts your libido up.

Answer 10

My "wife" has had this "condition" for many years.  It has ruined our marriage...in fact I divorced her...but can't get rid of her.  She won't leave the house.  I'd leave but my daughter needs me there.  Please, talk to your doctor...he can prescribe meds or refer you for further testing.  Good luck....and don't let it end up like my marriage.

Answer 11

Chat to your husband maybe the two of you can find something that will re-ignite the flame.

A nice gentle  "no pressure " massage may work with oils and candles and lots of non-sexual attention . Gentle caresses and some quality time without interruptions.

Maybe you have some underlying issues that are plaguing your subconcious which may be causing this problem to surface

Answer 12

You should tell him about this is you haven't yet and have him try a little harder

Answer 13

Make yourself get sexually active with your husband. It's a proven fact that if you are having frequent intercourse that it changes your libido for the better. If he's not having the same problem then let him take the lead. After a couple of months of practice you'll get used to that and feel strange if you're not doing it. Good luck!  

Answer 14

I don't think your problem is something related to your libido. First of all you must realize that sexuality is a personal matter. You alone knows exactly what make you turn on and start the sensuality by doing the ultimate sexual act. May be you have been not allowing yourself experienced o****m during your love making. If this is the case it's about time that you and your husband must resolve this issue without delay to make your marriage to last.

Answer 15

Find a good chinese herbalist.  They can mix you up some stuff that will give you a kick.  None of the over the counter stuff, they have to put bunches of plants and animals together.  You boil it up and drink it.  It tastes like sh*t, but it can work.  Been there and done that. I had a friend try it and said she liked it, but to me it was horrible, but it worked.