Normal to be frightened of your parents.......?

Question

Really? How many of you actually think it is normal to be frightened of your parents, or that as kids you SHOULD be frightened of you parents?

I found this on someones question regarding spanking, I can't figure out why someone would think it would be normal to be frightened of their parents.

Thoughts?

Answer 1

well there is a fine line between abuse and disapline kids have to k the difference .....ofcorse other ppl are ganna have different views on this but ......spanking unless it causes bruses isnt abuse .........displine is done out of love abuse isnt ..............it can go both ways i mean its good to be afriad of your parents because then you wont make mistakes or get into trouble .........but its bad to be afraid cuz they love u and you shudnt think of it in another way

Answer 2

no its not normal. As a child and teen, I was more upset when my parents said they were disappointed in me than when they spanked me. I was never really 'afraid' of being spanked. the pain never lasted. lol

Answer 3

I think the first answer nailed it.

I am 35 and my dad can still give me a look that would stop me in my tracks. But he is a wonderful and compassionate father, but I do fear crossing a line with him as should all kids with their parents.

There is a difference between fear and terror.

Answer 4

I do not think it is a good thing to ever make your children afraid of you.  There is a difference between fear and respect, and what you want them to do is respect you, not fear you.  Punishment like spanking can cause the child to fear rather than respect his/her parents if it is done entirely too often or for relatively small offenses.  A child who gets spanked for spilling his milk, for instance, or who gets spanked on an almost daily basis for one thing or another, may grow up fearing his/her parents without necessarily respecting them.  On the other hand, a child who is disciplined in ways other than spanking for the most part, whose parents let him/her know what they expect from him/her, behavior-wise, and whose parents only spank in cases of extreme disobedience (running into a parking lot unattended, putting themselves in harm's way, etc.) will probably grow up respecting, rather than fearing, his/her parents and understanding their boundaries.  They'll probably also take punishment far more seriously and try to avoid it at all costs, more so than the child whose parents spank for really no reason at all.  After a while it loses its effectiveness if it's a tactic you employ too often.

Answer 5

if the parents are abusive in any way, then I would think a child would be scared of them.

i don't think it is normal really, but then again, what si normal these days?

Answer 6

i was terrified of my step father and a few of my uncles when i was little. no i don't think it's normal. i would never want my kids (or any kid for that matter) to be afraid of me.

there is a difference between fear and respect. you don't get respect with violence. b/c of my upbringing, i am not close with any of my family. i'm incredibly envious of my husband and his upbringing...he was never spanked/hit. he was given the appropriate consequenses to his actions. we are very close with his family.

Answer 7

I think that kids should respect their parents authority, and if that means spanking, it should be used to gain that respect.

Answer 8

I read the same question and I don't think it is normal to have an unhealthy fear of your parents.  To some degree everyone will have some healthy fear towards their parents, just as we have a healthy fear for fire, wild animals, and so on.  Fire is a good, beautiful thing.  I love nothing more than to look at a camp fire and admire the way the flames dance in the breeze.  But fire, when misused, can cause damage and destruction.  

There is healthy fear and unhealthy fear.  

The same can be said for parents who spank.  When it's taken to the extreme or misused it does cause an unhealthy fear in their children.  My parents never took it to the extreme or misused spanking.  I have no amount of unhealthy fear towards them and I highly respect them for being loving parents.  But I don't think you should cower in fear of your parents.  That is a sign of abusive behavior in the home.  I think the asker of that question was meaning to say she has a healthy fear of her parents.  And there's nothing wrong with that.

Answer 9

yes if they r strict  and over possessive

Answer 10

Kids should be frightened of their parents. They respect their parents' authority that way. Otherwise they'll get away with too much and walk all over their parents. Parents need to lay down the law and teach their kids who's boss.

Answer 11

I don't think you should be scared of you parents.  However I do not think it is wrong to be scared of a consequence if you know you have done wrong.  I knew growing up that if I misbehaved or made a bad choice there would be a consequence (spanking, grounded, lecture, etc.) and I did fear that at times.

Answer 12

Kids should respect their parents but never frightened. They always need to feel like they can come to them for help.

PS - This is my audition tape for Neighbours (AUS TV show having national casting call). Comment and rate it, tell me whether you think ill get through to the next round. http://youtube.com/watch?v=Rif4q4y1-fs

Answer 13

It's unhealthy and abnormal. Parents-child relationships should develop with love not fear. If you obey someone because you fear them, you'd probably abandon or kill them at the first chance you get. Spanking is too old fashioned. After a while the body gets used to it, or if the child is strong, it wont even make a difference. Also, spanking causes the child to think violently, when he/she is at a developing age, which could trigger a sudden counter-attack during one of the "punishments", resulting in full-scale fight, to which the parents definately cannot win.

Answer 14

It is not normal.

What IS normal, is to have a healthy fear of displeasing your parents though.  NOT a morbid fear.

Answer 15

you should never be frightened of them, your parents are the first people you should go to if you cant who can you trust to turn to?

Answer 16

I don't think a child needs to fear a parent but they need to respect them