Nosey grandparents?

Question

i have a six year old daughter. i also have grandparents that live three houses away from us. my husband and i do our best as parents, everyone makes a mistake now and then...you know. well, EVERYTIME my husband and I correct our daughter for misbehaving or anything, my grandparents act like it's the end of the world. they try to tell us how we are wrong, and she is ONLY 6, blah blah...and if we don't do what they want us to, then it's because WE are disrespectful and they don't have an opinion because they are old. they want us to listen to them, but when ever we try to give our side or our opinions, they act like we are crazy and to strict. I feel like she is 6 and can take responsibliity for her own actions. i feel like she needs to know that there are consiquences when you misbehave! i'm not going to beat her or lock her in the basement, i just want her to clean up her messes that she makes and if she lies or something, she loses privledges. what can i do to tell them to back off??

Answer 1

I would just explain to them that she is your child and you will disipline her as you see fit.. I would also explain (in a nice way) that they have already raised their children! Goodluck :)

Answer 2

move house or country they will haunt you forever!

Answer 3

lol, everybody loves raymond... if u watched it, then u kno that they miss having kids around, and all grandparents r soft towards there grand childs

Answer 4

MOVE!

Answer 5

well since its your kid..

its your choice and your parents should

stop meddling.. try explaining that its your kid

and not theirs =]

Answer 6

Sadly I think u might have to tell them that she is 6 and needs to learn that for action there a reaction cause if she dosen't learn now she may never learn and they will not b the ones to deal w/ her on a daily bases.  Let them know that if they cont. to make a fuss then maybe they should not b around her until they can respect u and ur husband parenting responsibilities.  I know it seems mean but the truth is if they are saying this in front of ur child then ur child will not take u or ur husband seriously when it comes to punishment or anything as time goes on.  

goodluck.

Answer 7

move!!!! move far far away!!

Answer 8

Put your foot down now!!  My grandmother was the same way with my brother.  He is now a 37 yr old brat that has no respect for anyone.  He blames all his mistakes on somebody else and has never taken any responsibility for anything he has done.  Tell them in a very kind way that they got to raise their children their way and you have the right to do the same thing.

Answer 9

You know, I sympathize with your situation.  I think the best thing you could do for everyone involved would be to ask them to hold their comments until your daughter is out of earshot so their words do not undermine your own.  Then, ask them how they would have handled the situation and try to listen with an open mind, and if they're off-base just say "I hadn't thought of it that way... thank you for that idea..."

Or, you could be really hard core and explain the detailed aspects of all your rules and consequences... ask them to get on board with the program OR they will have to keep they're distance.  This could be a devastating approach if the grandparents are unable to respect your discipline methods.

Answer 10

im with mikesold on this--

Answer 11

put your foot down immediately. your kid will start playing you againts the grands and you will have an even bigger mess on your hands. let them know that you are the parent and you are doing what you feel is best and if advice is needed you'll ask for it.

Answer 12

Tell them to back off......I did with my inlaws..If you can`t handle it move.

Answer 13

calmly tell them that you are the parents and as such you decide how she is going to be raised and you would like their support

Answer 14

Tell them that she is YOUR child, they raised their's.  My question is why are they always around to begin with...they have a home...why aren't they in THEIR home?  They seem to have a lot of time on their hands...maybe if you got them both hobbies or something they'd spend less time telling you how to raise your child

Answer 15

My father in law is the same way. I get upset with my daughter( she's 6) about the messes she makes and her room. I don't mind helping her but I'm not gonna do it all. He always says" she's only 7". Well I feel that even a 7 year old needs to take some responsibility, I am her mother, not her maid. He gets mad when I try to punish her or he try's to blow off what I say. I tell him that it's my child, my rules. Sometimes you have to be stern as much as it sucks to do that, the grandparent needs to have some understanding.