Not allowed to close my door ?

Question

I have just graduated from college and I am currently looking for employment. While i am doing this i am at home with my mom and step dad until i can find a job and move.Recently my step dad complained to my mom about my door being closed. He claims that i never come out of my room and wonders what i do in my room all day. As a result my mother to appease my step dad came up with a new rule that I am not allowed to close my door. The truth is I do come out of my room quite often. I come out and cook dinner for the whole family,clean the kitchen up only to find moments later that it is back in a mess,along with any task my mother wants me to help her with. I close my door mainly to get away from him.My step dad is under the impression that he knows EVERYTHING. When i am cooking he tries to butt in on how i cook(even though he has never cooked anything in his whole life),He butts in on my dating life,he even made a comment about the kind of underwear i have. So in order to get away from his constant butting in I close my door. What i don't get is why is me having my door closed such a big issue when he stays in the living room all day long watching tv(instead of finding a job) with the door closed. I don't worry about what he does all day up there so why is he so worried about me?

Answer 1

That's weird. Maybe tell him/your mom this?  

Answer 2

Parents and doors....mmmm...well, parents don't like their kids to have doors because they feel that the kids might be doing things they shouldn't be doing.  If your a college student then move out, your old enough.  Sounds like hes controlling, maybe he is just trying to be a good parent.  You need to move out and live our own life.

Answer 3

You're a college grad and you're living at home? Move OUT. Find your own place and make your own way. Don't depend on your parents for support here--or you sort of deserve whatever they want to heap on you while you are there using them for room and board. It's their house. You don't make the rules there, they do. But you ALSO deserve respect and privacy; however, the only way you'll get that is on your own. You sound like an indentured servant and are being treated like a child--and that is an issue your parents need to work out. But you have to be on your own in order to be able to have what you want.  This stepfather sounds like a bonehead--and your mother is supporting his views, not yours. That should tell you everything you need to know.

Do it.

Answer 4

It's their house, live within their rules, or move.

Do you have ANY sort of relationship with your mom?  Point out what you do around the house, make the argument that having your door closed is a privilege you've earned.

Actually, you know the reason he doesn't want your door closed......he's a control freak.

The next time he comes to "help" with dinner, walk away, tell him to finish.  Leave, if necessary.

Sounds like the situation is bad enough that a job at McDonald's and a rented room somewhere else would be an upgrade.

Luck

Answer 5

Wow, thats sketchy. move out!

Answer 6

Maybe you should explain in a nice way why you like to close your door. Like that you just need some time to yourself. Explain that you are under a lot of stress and you need to just be able to go to a place in the house to call your own (your room) and do what you want. Maybe then your family can come to and understanding.