Not depressed but think negatively, what is this?

Question

I am generally a happy person. I am very fortunate in life and really have nothing too bad to complain about. Life is good. So why do I think negatively about myself or situations. I tend to let the negative consume my thinking which makes it difficult to think positively. I also think that my friends and coworkers are purposely out to get me or talking behind my back. I feel like they are not trustworthy. I also feel like people are trying to one up me or compete with me in my job. I HATE feeling inadequate. What is this? I sound crazy.

Answer 1

it is a matter of habit...YOU and only YOU can choose what you think, or how you feel.  Nothing anyone does or does not do can impact you unless you allow it to.  Suggest that you choose to cut off negative thinking, when a negative thought arises, simply stop it and think about something positive...it is your brain, you have to be the one to control it.

Answer 2

Hi Ms Bee,

I am a Reference Librarian.  It will take me a few minutes to research your question.

I suggest looking at some websites on self esteem, and some books that can be found at your local bookstore or library.

I recommend

"Esteemable acts : 10 actions for building real self-esteem" by  Francine Ward

"Self-esteem" by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning

"The everything self-esteem book : boost your confidence, achieve inner strength, and learn to love yourself" by Robert M. Sherfield

Imagine yourself as a really good friend; would you say these negative things to your friend?  When you hear yourself saying these things, say to yourself that is a bad habit, and I will change it. Say it out loud if you need to.

Remember that it is normal for everyone to feel a dip in their self esteem once in a while.  If these do not help you, seek professional help immediately.  Do NOT wait until you are seriously depressed to seek help if that is really the deeper problem.  

Good Luck!

K

Answer 3

hmmm you are being paranoid. why? can you sense or see something that thy are out to get you? have you done something that you think pisses them off? in not then theres no reason for you to feel like that. unless theyre the type who wants to pull peope down.

Answer 4

This of course is just my opinion, but I would say it sounds like someone at some point really let you down, it could be family, friends, a relationship, etc. But you have to learn to be open. I've been through alot myself and I used to constantly feel like I had to "get them before they got me" I realized when I did that, I was burning a lot of bridges because of what others did to me in the past. I'm no longer like that, now I feel as long as I'm doing my best and being the best person I can be. I'm happy. I can't control other's actions, I can't please everyone, not everyone is going to like me. And i"m a pretty cool down to earth guy. Once you stop analyzing so much and start doing what's best for you ALL THE TIME you'll lose those insecurities. Competition is a good thing (it took me a while to realize that) it means that people see you as a threat and someone that's doing well. I used to think "why try to compete with me I'm so cool, i could help you or we could team up" but honestly I can't assume everyone knows my intentions and thoughts, so if you don't speak to them and let them know you're on the same side, you can't get mad that they see you as a threat. Take it as a compliment.