Not in love anymore or in a rut?

Question

5 years ago I graduated high school. I kept in touch with this guy I didn't know well but who was always very nice and funny, let's call him M. Six months later we we're a couple - still are. A year after I graduated I have no idea how I started befriending this other guy from school who was in one of my classes and who I barely talked to, lets call him A. I could see A liked me and was about to ask me out when I told him about M. We still stayed friends.

Today both M, my boyfriend, and A, one of my best friends, are in my life. Here's the thing, everytime A comes back from college for summer, I fall heads over heals for him. He's simply PERFECT. Even after 4 years of really knowing him, I honestly believe so.

It's unfair for my boyfriend though, who's insanely in love with me. I have to honestly say I've never seen someone who loves another person as much as he loves me. His family already consider me their daughter in law too. He sacrificed a LOT for me and changed his life plans so he could be with me. I love him, and never want to see him hurt, but I feel A's personality and lifestyle are more like my own. I also love how he's interested in learning and reading, unlike M. I LOVE being with A. I love being with M too, but something about hanging out seems "old".. getting boring.

I don't know if I'm not in love with my boyfriend anymore. I don't know if it's just that we've reached to that point in a relationship where there are no sparks, nothing new to experience, it's just comfort. I know I'm in love with A, but I know that's very foolish of me. Or is it not love, just sparks of meeting someone who understands me.. finally a best friend I could talk to about anything. (Before M and A, I had friends who I hang out with not talk to about everything)

I simply don't know what I feel or what to do. It's driving me crazy :/

Answer 1

Hi Dear..What i understand is that you know "M" in and out..but you have only seen the good things of A..not his entire character...M is in love with you..You are in love with A..But did you confirmed that A is in love with you too..Can A make all the sacrifices that M made for you? Can A change his life style for you? I believe you jus know the outer side of A and inside of M...I believe "Its better to love some one who loves you...not whom you love"..My personal opinion is you should stick with M by making some small changes in your relationship to make it more lively...

What if tomorrow you decide to go with A and you found some Y better than A..what will you do ? Go with Y? So dont think too much..M loves you whole heartedly and will be faithful to you...stick to him...

Answer 2

wow i was in almost that exact same situation and my boyfriend had given a ton for me and i thought i really liked this other guy who i was close friends with....umm honestly i stayed with my boyfriend and tried to distance myself from the other guy because i felt that was the right thing to do for my boyfriend because he was so good to me. "m" asked you out first, before "a" and he deserves your loyalty even though "a" is really amazing. it's the only fair and right thing to do in this situation, you should still talk to "a" but just don't stay best friends with him.