Not me at all.?

Question

Ok. I am really sorry from the bottom of my heart if I offend anyone here, but I need some imput. This is not me at all, so please read on......

I was bullied alot about my adoption by a certain girl, for quite alot of my school life. I recently started talking to her again, and because we sort of grew up, we were mature enough to let it all go. She told me that she cant have children of her own. I had to keep my mouth shut, as the thaught that ran through my mind was of the serves you right kind.

I honestly never ever think horribly of anyone, but I couldnt help thinking that she deserved it for giving me so much c**p.

This is very bad for me.

I do regret thinking like that, but there is a bit of me that just cant forget about what she used to say to me. Am I reacting normally? Or am I just being a cow?

Imput please.

thanks

Answer 1

I was in daycare from the time I was adopted until I went to elementary school. The kids at my daycare used to single me out and not play with me because "i was adopted."

Kids can be SOOO MEAN.

You know what though, the daughter, who used to make fun of me the most, is one of my best friends in the whole world now. I grew up with her though, so I forgave her a long time ago.

People who were mean to me in school ( not for adoption related things ) i have a hard time forgiving now. I saw a girl who was rude to me in highschool the other day at the grocery store, and I got butterflys in my stomach as she showed me her new baby. I was nice, but.... I haven't let go all the way. There is NO WAY i could be her friend. she was horrible to me.

If you can forgive, then do so, but if you're feeling resentment and haven't let go of what this person did to you, I say don't get too close, it will effect your friendship and why give yourself that reminder every time you're around her.

Answer 2

hmmm... kinda like the boy who tormented me in Jr. High. Called me ugly all the time. He tried to pick me up at a bar about 10 years later. I played it up and flirted outrageously, let him buy me drinks and acted the tease. Come closing time I asked if he knew my name. He said no and I said "Oh it is Andie... yeah just like it was in grade 8." I downed my last shot, flipped him the bird and waltzed out of the bar.

Karma is almost as big a ***** as I am. Your feelings are normal. Bullying is cruel and causes pain. I wouldn't suggest sticking out your tongue and shouting neener, neener, neener at  this woman but feeling like it is not abnormal at all.

Answer 3

I think your thoughts are normal. Perhaps her confiding this information to you is her way of acknowledging that she is sorry. It's nice that you are friends again.

Answer 4

You're upset because you though something about something in your head? It's not like you said it out loud!!

Answer 5

Kids can be so incredibly cruel to one another that growing up can leave some very deep scars.  I don't think your thoughts were abnormal at all, but a reaction to the bullying that still resonates to this day.  Kudos to you for being a bigger person and keeping those thoughts to yourself, however!

You are not alone, regarding the lingering resentment over bullying, however. I don't know if it would help if you talked to her about them, not in a vindictive way, but about your feelings and how her words about adoption impacted you.  I'd bet this lady knows this, which is why she brought it up to you.  It may be how she is trying to open a dialogue with you on the subject.

Good luck.

Answer 6

good for you and her that ye got over your troubles in the past.....but have you?? really.???

maybe you shouldnt be friends with her as you still have hurt inside you from what she has done to you for years. it may be easy 4 her to let go cuz she was not at the reciving end o it all. you were. you were the victim. and you have been hurt by her. so its only human nature to still feel hate in someway-when someone bullies you.

its a terribe thing for her not 2 b able to mother a child. i feel sorry for her. and so should you. so that is why i think maybe you should just not be friends cuz friends dont be happy when another friend has a bad problem.

and you dont need to apolize for your actions-no one has been what you have been throught only you so dont hate yourself and your not been a cow.

your human

we feel

we hurt

and you have been hurt

move on from this

either forgive her or forget her

Answer 7

she hurt your feelings and you reacted accordingly.  Normal for one is not normal for another. You acted like yourself

Answer 8

You have every right to feel the way you do. It is apart of life. You did nothing wrong.

Answer 9

Nope...you're being totally normal :) don't be so hard on yourself. She hurt you. why should you just forget all that just because she can't have kids? I would've thought the same thing.......so take a breath and smile :)

Answer 10

It's ok, anyone would think like that, the important thing is that you don't say anything that could affend her. Sure it's what she did to you, but you know how you felt, would you really wish that on her?

Don't worry, it's normal to think like that. I bet I would too.  :)

Answer 11

not a cow!

Answer 12

I am so sorry you had to go through that growing up.  I know what it feels like to be bullied.

I think your feelings are completely normal (I would have had the exact same reaction), and unless she apologized for how she treated you, then you shouldn't let it go.

One of the most empowering things for me was to confront the people who bullied me as a kid.  Most claimed to not remember, I told them I could never forget.  They all were embarrassed and apologized.  

If you want to continue to have a relationship with this person, you should resolve these feelings first.  Have a conversation with her about what she said and how it made you feel.

Answer 13

Its normal to feel that way. I know how it feels I have been there too. I always tell myself that it's called Karma when something bad happens to them. I would of felt the same way maybe you should tell her that she can adopt that would be kind of funny!

Answer 14

Your reaction is not "very bad" as you put it.  I'd say it's a normal reaction.  Especially since she bullied you.  If you can find a way to forgive her- even if you can't forget... you may feel better.

Answer 15

Definatly Normal! I, like you, don't like to think mean or bad things about others, But in your case, It would run through my mind! KARMA!

Everything happens for a reason, maybe she is being taught a good lesson! Don't feel bad, and those feelings will pass so No Worries!!!