Not sure if I want my dad to walk me down the isle...?

Question

Now don't dare say "he raised you" because NO he didn't raise me. My mother did. I want her to walk me down but don't know how to tell my dad. Not even sure if I wanna bother telling him that we've set a date. He isn't in my life really and doesn't bother calling me very often but once every few months.

Gimme some advice?

Answer 1

If you plan to invite him and think he will come then you should walk down the aisle alone -- not with your mom. It will seem as though you invited him to your wedding only to give him that slap in the face/dose of reality that your mom raised you -- which he undoubtedly already knows that your mom cut him out of your life for her own reasons so he does not need to be so obviously reminded on an emotional day.

So...there it is.

If you do not think he will attend (you really should invite him) then you could have your mom walk you down the aisle. But to me it seems like spite to make him watch your mom walk you down the aisle.

Answer 2

How does your mother feel about giving you away and or having you biological father there? Does he wish to come? Is the wedding low key or fancy. Does the groom have an opinion? . Above all It is your day, without becoming Bridzilla

do what will give you the best feeling, now and 10 years from now. Best of luck and may you never need it.

Answer 3

hey if ur father wasnt a part of your life why not let someone who was walk to down the isle who cares if its the nonconventional way of doing things...its you wedding day. do wat u wanna boo!!

Answer 4

Compromise?  Don't want to hurt anyone's feelings?

Ask both parents to escort you to the altar, one on each side.  That gives credit to mom, without creating further estrangement with dad.

or . . .

Walk alone.  A woman being "given" in marriage is antiquated . . . goes back to the days when women were considered property.  Explain to dad that you are no one's "property" and wish to walk by yourself.

Those are my two suggestions for avoiding hurt feelings.

Answer 5

I know the feeling. I haven't saw my dad in over 10 years and he WILL  NOT walk me down the isle. It's your wedding do what you want to do!

Answer 6

i raised my daughter alone. when she got married she said her dad was going to walk her down the isle. i got upset. we comprmised. he walked her , i gave her away.

Answer 7

I don't have quite the same situation, but close. My father passed away when I was 13. For several years now, I've known that I want my grandfather (my father's father) to walk me down the isle. My mom will be giving me away though. It should be completely your decision. Like some other people have said, think about how you want to remember your wedding day for the rest of your life! Congratulations and Good Luck!

Answer 8

Do like my cousin did. Let you dad come to the wedding, but let him sit at the back of the church. Don't even bother putting him upfront, much less letting him walk you down the isle.

It's your wedding day, do what you want! If your mother raised you then she should be the one to give you away. Good Luck girl...

Hope your wedding day is all you ever dreamed it would be.

Answer 9

Yeah my dad is the same exact way. Except he only calls when he is drunk. My sister just got married a few months back and had invited him to the wedding and he never showed, we went down to where he lives for vaca and he said he would meet us, never did... so Im thinking that you shouldnt even tell him because you might just be wasting your breath!

And if your mom doesnt feel comfortable walking you down the isle bc maybe she thinks a man should be doing it, have your grandfather do it. Im really close with my grandfather and thats who I am going to ask to give me away at my up coming wedding.

If your decision is set on your mom, have your mom give you away!

Good luck!

(:

Answer 10

Hi I'm sixteen, so please don't judge me.

Don't worry, you're not alone. My father and I aren't on good terms for the longest time. My mother was the one who was really there for me and my father chose to be distant and very cruel.

I comprehend that it's a difficult circumstance in regards to how you should tell your father concerning that you don't want him to walk you down the isle. It's your wedding day and you have to do what makes you happy. I honestly suggest that you tell your father how you feel. Despite you are not on good terms with him. However, it's better to be civil than to have enemies.

Best of luck!

- Amanda.

Answer 11

When are you getting married?  If it's some time away - consider thinking about how you want your family life and your wedding date to be.  If you are estranged with your father to the point you don't even want him to know that you are engaged, it doesn't sound like you're close.  But doesn't mean it can't be if you both want it... On the other hand, your mother has been there and you could have both walk you down the aisle.    If you don't want him to walk him down the aisle, have an honest conversation about it with him now versus closer to the date.  Explain why it's important to acknowledge your mother... good luck

Answer 12

tell him about the wedding but

also say that your mom is walking you down the isle

and if he chooses not to come or gets mad just know that he isn't worth it

your mom has been there for you while on the other hand he hasn't

so think about it

congrats by the way

=D