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Question

I have a really close friend who I always hung out with, we'd stay at each others houses etc. Except that her mum has this bf who is a complete loser and every time I stay there he gets really drunk and irritates all of us. Her mum always fights with him infront of us, breaks up, then gets back together the next week. He has been arrested before, and we've had to call the cops because he always gets drunk when he has his 6 yr old daughter. Her mum is kind of crazy too and I really don't feel like I want to stay over there anymore, but she is always asking me to. How can I tell her i'm not comfortable doing that anymore without hurting her feelings?

Answer 1

Just be frank with her.  You will not hurt her feelings--- believe me.  She hates being there as much as you do.  She asks you so that she will not have to face the chaos alone.  You are kinda her protection.  

She is afraid to leave her mother alone with him because she fears what he might do to her.  So she needs you too.  However, this is not your battle.  It is theirs.  The mother insists on having him at any cost, and the cost at this point is embarrasment, irriation, and craziness.  You are young and don't need exposure to this type of behavior.  Explain to your friend your reason, and stick to it.  Then, if you can, invite her over to your house and see how that works.  --- Toni D.  

Answer 2

Your friend might be looking to you for the safety.  However I am thinking that at this point you are not in a position to help her this way.  I would invite her to your house if this is possible.  And if that doesnt work, have you tried to talk to her about the emotional environment in her home?  Let her know that this is not the way it should be and may be help her find some help for growing up in a home of this sort.

Answer 3

Your friend probably is in need of some support in her family circle, that being you.  Why not invite your friend to come over for a stay at your place,  When she is over at your place she will see the difference between a functional agreeable family vs the dysfunctional one that she is used to.  That will give her a better understanding why you prefer not to go over there again.  You would be doing her a favour if you asked her over to your place more often.  You can also explain things to your parents so that they can also give some moral support to your friend, and give her a soft place to fall.  

Answer 4

just be honest with her, get her to stay at your place more often,you just have to tell her the way you feel,let her know that no matter what you just want to be friends