Not sure when to have the second child... Please help!?

Question

My husband and I have a 16 month old. My husband wants to start trying for another child now. I want to wait possibly until this time next year. If I wait though, the children will be three years apart. If we tried now and got pregnant they'd be 2 years apart. I'm so torn. I'm still in college and I think two little ones in diapers will be tough. But!! I want my children to be close to each other. Meaning I want them to be able to play with the same things. HELP! What do I do? What is your experience? Are your children 2 or 3 years apart? I'd love to hear what you have to say. Thank you so much!!

Answer 1

Hi there.

You know, although we plan everything in life, when you will concieve is just down to nature.

You could start trying now, and not get pregnant for another year..or you could wait 6 months-1 year and get pregnant straight away!

at the end of the day, you need to think: would you rather start trying now and it may take a year, or would you like to start trying in a year, and have to wait another year to concieve?!

It can take time!

Answer 2

Easy for your husband to say!

Then again, your reason of wanting them to "play with the same things" is stupid. I don't know many kids who share. They will each want their own stuff no matter how far apart they are.

If you're not ready, you're not ready. And hubby will have to wait.

Also, I get along better with my brother who's 5 years younger than my brother who's 2 years younger.

Answer 3

You are going to have to follow your heat.I have one 4 year old daughter and she is the ONLY child.I honestly don't want more kids now for the fact that is the best and my health isn't up for another challange in the future.I was a high risk pregency and that is why I don't want more kids.Plus..My husband is going thru a mid life crisis.

If you have enough money and in good heatlh and YOU want it.Don't matter what the father thinks is your body and your responbility to feed and cloth your child period.Is your choice really in the end of it all.

Plus..It took me 6mths to get my bod back and NOW I have it.I don't want to lose it EVER EVER NEVER again.

He wants a another child.I don't and I won't just to make them happy.I want to make me happy for once.Plus I love it since..She is my ONLY and I have no stress to feed and cloth more and education is not cheap and having her OWN savings for college is the best since..She is the only child.

Answer 4

I think 3-4 years is a good age difference. Will both of your kids go to daycare? You might be carrying one kid on each arm + diaper bag(s) into the building - not good on an icy parking lot.  At 3 or 4, your older one can hold your hand, follow instructions, sit in his car seat and wait for you to buckle him in, and hopefully not wear a diaper. You probably wouldn't have to worry about transitioning him out of his crib either, since he can get a toddler bed or twin size. I'd advise waiting a little while and try to get through college - you and your older baby will both be in a better position for a new baby by then.

Answer 5

Wait until you are ready,not when your hubby is ready because you are the one carrying the baby,not him.

Answer 6

this comes from being in the middle of 2 sisters...one 4 years older than me and one 2 years younger...well...I've decided my kids are going to be either 2 years apart or closer or over 5 years apart.  I was close with my sister at 2 years apart b/c we were able to experiance a lot together and play together.  My older sister was old enough when I was born that she knew she was #1 in the house and has hated me my whole like until the last few years when I graduated highschool and went to college.  we're close now but had some major issues when we were younger.  I choose 2 or 5 years for myself just b/ at 5 years my kid will be in kindergarten and big enough to do things on their own and be loving and kind to a sibling, not mad b/c mommy doesn't have all the time in the world anymore.  good luck:)

Answer 7

My dr. recommended spacing 3 years apart.  A three year old is starting preschool and making friends and branching out from just the family circle.  They have had adequate time to be "the baby."  Nevertheless, I think there are pros and cons to whatever age you choose, and that's not even considering both children's temperaments.  My son is almost six and I am going to be induced with his sister next Monday-we would've liked children closer together, but struggled with fertility.  Whatever you choose, it will be ok-good luck.

Answer 8

My brothers are 4 and 3 years older than me.  We always played together as kids. Just make sure you are ready that's the most important thing.

Answer 9

suggest to him that the older one be potty trained, or close to that, first. that way you are struggling less.

that'll probably get them 3 years apart, and thats not too bad.

its a joint decision!

Answer 10

I think you should wait until your ready because you will be the one responsible for them.

Answer 11

Split the difference

Start trying in six months

3 years is a good age different

They are close enough play together

One should be poppy trained

Answer 12

I wanted to wait until after my daughter was out of diapers, so I started trying right when we started potty training. She was 2 1/2 at the time, but it took a while to conceive and I am now 10 weeks pregnant. She will be almost 4 when her little sister or brother is born. I think that's a good age difference.

Answer 13

I would wait until finishing college. A 3 year gap is not bad at all, your children will still be able to relate to one another.

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