Not sure when to have the second child....?

Question

My husband and I have a 15 month old. We are planning on having more children. But we can't agree on when to have the second child. My husband wants to start trying now. I want to wait until fall/winter to start trying. If we start now, and get pregnant, the children will be 2 years apart. That's great!! But I don't think I'm ready. But I don't want to wait too long. Is a three year gap ok? I want my children to be close!! So what do I do? Wait or start trying. Its hard with one and I'm a student as well. It'll be much harder with two and going to school. Please help! Thank you!!

Answer 1

Wait till you get out of school! Then try!

Answer 2

I think you should start trying now.

Answer 3

i have three older sisiters. 14 yrs apart, 10, and 5. we are all very close.

Answer 4

Well, the thing you really need to consider is that you might not get pregnant right away. My sister and I both thought we'd get pregnant fast, but it took us both a year to conceive. I wanted to be delivering this time last year, but instead I'm due in a few weeks. My sister's eldest just turned 5 and she was hoping the gap would have been a year smaller. I agree with your husband that its a good idea to start now. Since you aren't quite ready yet, hopefully you'll not stress as much if your period is a day late here and there. I loved a 22 month gap between my first and second. To each his own, but you really need to think about what if it takes longer to get pregnant than you expect it to.

Answer 5

I think a 2 year to 3 year gap is a great amount of time.  The sibling will be close enough in age to enjoy one another's company.

Answer 6

I think closeness depends more on how you raise your children than age.  If you promote family time and relationships you are giving children the opportunity to be close.  I am three years older than my sister and she is my best friend.  It wasn't always that way.  When I was young we were close until she became a teen, then we couldn't stand one another.  Once I was out of the house we became friends again.  My daughters are 4yrs apart and have a great relationship but they are still young (6&2).  I am pregnant with my 3rd.  

I think it's best to wait til you are ready.  I know that I couldn't have handled a new baby when my first was 2 - 2.5.  Two are much harder than one especially when you have a newborn.  Good luck!

Answer 7

If you aren't ready and in school.. i would wait.  I see no problem with waiting.  It WILL be a lot harder with two children ESPECIALLY when they are both really young at the same time and need a lot of attention.  Also younger children 2-3 often have a really hard time with new babies because they still want all of mommy and Daddy's attention and don't understand the needs of the new baby so well.  I feel like children are much better with little sibblings when they hit the 5 year old mark because they like the idea of a baby brother or sister, they can help out and watch over their sibling as they get older.

My sister and I are almost 6 years apart and are extremely close.  The only time in my life where we weren't i suppose is when I was in high school and was doing my own thing and my sister was too young to hang around me.  however before then growing up we had NO problem playing with each other and being close, and after high school i have gotten really close to my sister and really like being there for her for advice as she gets older.  I like being able to help her like that.

My mom has two sister and they are each just over a year apart from one another, however they each did their own thing when it got around the high school age so really I don't think it matters.  

Siblings are close no matter what because they will always share that bond.  If you aren't ready, then you aren't ready.  Whats most important is knowing that you will be able to give these children the time and attention they are going to need.  If you have school and everything else going on, maybe you can't or it will be hard.  You don't need to worry about them being close, its inevitable.

Answer 8

The best piece of advice i can offer is if you want more than one child make sure you have them when they are both in diapers. I heard the worse thing you can doto yourself is get one baby potty trained and done with diapers and have to go back to them..And remember older children tend to regress when a new baby comes home. It is their way of acting out. So if your potty training you little one and a newborn comes home you might undo everythign you have progressed to in the last couple months

Answer 9

My sister and I are three years apart and we are really close.