Nothing but frustration?

Question

My husband got laid off from his job. I have been working 12 hour shifts at my job to try and make everything work and make sure our family has enough money. Instead of getting a thanks or being appreciated my husband takes his anger out on me by yelling about this or that. I've told him that I don't feel appreciated but he doesn't listen. How do I make him understand how much stress and anxiety this puts on me. We also have a year one old son that I'm afraid feels my anger towards my husband. It feels like I've tried everything. Any advice on how to get him to understand the way I feel?

Answer 1

People tend to transfer their fears for their own worth and performance to others, projecting what they see as their shortcomings onto the person closest to them. It's very hard to deal this between yourselves. You really need, he really needs, a competent outsider. There are free and cheap counseling resources. Find them. In many cities, the local 3-1-1 website has them. Agencies like child protective services maintain lists of them. He needs to talk through what being out of work is doing to him and you with someone whose poor opinion of himself he's not afraid of.  

Answer 2

Maybe this sounds extreme to some-but go to a counselor now! Sometimes your sig other will understand things if it is said in another context by another person.

Answer 3

You guys have both got stress just from different things seems the problem is neither of you wants to recognize the others persons problems instead of you trying to figure out what is causing him to be so cranky the first thing you are saying is I I I I I work I need I do I feel this I feel that. Therefore you guys will get no where some times fixing someone else problem may fix your own.

Answer 4

nothing is worse than an unemployed man; he is upset that you are taking care of all the money.  it's man stuff....give him some time.  he's just worried & feels unmanned because he's supposed to be taking care of you.

i'm not saying that you shouldn't be frustrated with him...just try to be understanding.  he'll get a new job soon; it will all work out!

Answer 5

While I sympathize with the stress you are under at the moment I think you should try to put yourself in his shoes. he probably feels like less of a man because he is not bringing home the bacon and youare working your butt off so he feels stressed to I am sure. Watching your loved one have most of the financial burden is hard to. Try to just sit and talk to him. Have a hear to heart. I am sure he will come around.  

Answer 6

Go to marriage counseling.  My wife was angry with me for months and did not tell me.  It ended in her having an affair.  Fix it now or never.