Novice poetry, Can you tell what I mean?

Question

Shovel in hand

Love in the other

Kneck burning

Back hurting

Work In mind

Love in sight

Blood boiling

Sweat exhausting

Deprived of comfort

Enriched in Love

Heat expanding

Feet aching

I hate what I do

But I'll do anything for you

Um i literally HATE the last lines... Could you tell what I meant though?

***Spoiler*** What i meant was my mom never appreciates my dad when he comes home.. always wanting him to do this and that... i look back and i can't believe i bought into the whole thing... He works full time at a construction firm and with me working there the past three summers, when i come home i want to go to bed... and im in pretty decent shape! its rough, the people are jerks, and the work is hard... now im ranting im sorry.. Please comment at will!

Answer 1

This portrays a person who, loves another so much, that the welfare of the one he loves, means more than his own discomfort!!

Very nice, it paints the whole picture of what you trying to get across!!Cheers!!

Answer 2

I think it's awesome... As I read the poem I imagined a few different scenarios and none turned out to be what it was actually about. I understand what you mean about the last sentences but sometimes when writing you might try and change some words but you can't really find anything else that fits in quite as snuggly as the original...

Answer 3

My head hurt just reading this.  Thank you now I must go and get some aspirin.