Now that I've screwed up what do I do?

Question

One of my employees and I have been pretty close for over a year. We are both married. We went out to happy hour which turned into the wee hour which turned into us having s*x. It hasn't been weird at work yet and we haven't discussed it but we both have that little grin as if to say "I know your secret." I'm confident it was a one time thing as neither one of us has cheated on our spouses before. I'm wondering if I should talk to her about it or leave it be?

Answer 1

leave it be unless it looks like it could happen again, in that case you need to man up and put a stop to it.

Answer 2

Responsible people do not put themselves in compromising situations.  When you met her for happy hour you knew what would come or could come of it.  This was probably a fantasy you dreamed about.  I am concerned that this will happen again, perhaps with another woman.  I think you should tell your wife so she can keep you honest and on a tight leash to prevent this from happening again.  Or spare her the pain and don't tell her but NEVER do it again.  She will find out and your life and hers will be ruined all because you needed an exciting fling.  It is not worth it.  Be responsible and learn from your mistake.  If it happens again, she WILL find out and be less understanding than if you told her yourself.  Ignore the girl at work and keep your relationship with her on a strictly professional level.

Answer 3

you men make me sick. you cheat on your spouse and then say "what do i do?"  what you should have done is be a good husband to your wife who is sitting at home waiting for you.  geez.  why cant you men stay committed and faithful?  whats wrong with you?

and yes, im over sensitive because ive been cheated on one too many times and the only excuses i get is "I screwed up... I didnt realize... I'm sorry.... I didnt mean to.... It just happened.... It didnt mean anything... " and of course the most famous one "I just dont deserve you"

BullS%$T thats what you're spewing.  You know what you should do?  Confess to your wife.  See how that goes over.

and i dont care if i get thumbs down.  you deserve a butt whooping, thats what you need.  if you expect to keep your wife, you'd better shape up bucko!

Answer 4

How sad for you........... potentially destroy your marriage and hers for a "one time thing" I feel for both of your spouses. And now your setting on here acting cute about it. Why don't you tell your wife your little secret see how she feels about it.

Answer 5

(To Under the Sea -  YOU GO GIRL!!!)

You are scum.  You don't CHEAT and then say "it just turned into having s*x"...well duh, did you just fall down while naked and end up inside of her?  You both are responsible for this and I feel so sorry for your wife.  She does not deserve this and you do not deserve you.  You are so d**n typical.  

After your wife finds out she might 'turn into" divorcing you.

Oh and as far as the "little bit of strange at work"... that was indeed a stupid move.  You've screwed yourself buddy and you deserve the mess you're in.  I agree with another answer that said you knew what you were doing when you went for happy hour.  You're a grown up, we all know what happens after happy hour.  Now you need to pay up for what you did.

Yes, women cheat too buy the majority of cheating is done by the male.

Answer 6

You might as well fess up. The "other" lover could cause you trouble later on.

Under the Sea: You say men but women are equal opportunity cheaters. Ask my ex-wife what happens when you get caught cheating. Funny thing was, I forgave her the first time...

Answer 7

I would leave it alone. You both know what you did and that's enough. I wouldn't hang out after hours unnecessarily unless you want to get a divorce!

Answer 8

Everything gets known eventually...You can wait and deny it...or? It sounds like its gonna happen again....and again. Are you going to risk your marriage? Take Care

Answer 9

since you only care about yourself, i will only respond to the work ethic issues invovled - this was not a very smart move on your part in this day and age - i'd be very careful with what you say to her - now she has serious leverage over you ( i presume you are her boss?) - it just takes one misstep on your part (not promoting her, bad evaluation, etc) and your a$$ is getting a complaint in HR.

and if you get sued someday, you may very well end up in court testifying  about your cute little secret - so get ready.

Answer 10

Awe man. This one is a tough one. What were you thinking man? Is there anything out there that she can use against you in case she decides to come clean? You know, like EVIDENCE??.

For your sake, I say, act like nothings happened. She will approach you and at that time you can apologize to her, and tell her it should of never happened and you will never disrespect your marriage and hers ever again. Switch it up here. Sometimes people act like jerks if you treat them like they were not "special" especially women. Be careful!!

Now, I'm about to flip it on you buddy. What, did you think you were out of the woods? No. What is worng with you, are you crazy? That was so dirty what you did to your wife and you better hope and pray this don't get out because there will be drama. You two work with each other, there should be no outside relationships, it should always be business and never pleasure. You messed up. If you get away with this, I'm possitive you'll do it again. I'm almost positive you " have" cheated on your wife before. Dirty birdy...

Answer 11

This is one of those leave it be.  One thing you have to be careful of is not only your wife but your job.  That is a dangerous game to play if you pursue that any further.

Answer 12

she already knows.