Now that i am pregnant my mother in law is driving me insane...?

Question

We recently found out that I am pregnant (only three months along now) and my mother in law (who is normally a bit hard to deal with) has become impossible for me to deal with. She calls several times throughout the day and she is already insisting on baby names. She has always said that she wishes that she named my husband Luke so now she wants us to promise her that if the baby is a boy we will name him Luke. She is also coming up with girl names, and when we tell her the names that we like she says that those names SICKEN her b/c they begin with the letter A. She also lives a few states away, and my parents live only about 20 minutes from us. So she is acting a bit jealous and she told me the other day that it doesn't bother her that she will be the long distance grandma b/c in her experience kids love their long distance grandma more than the grandma that's around all the time. So she knows the baby will love her more than he or she loves my mom and dad. I didn't know what to say to that so I just started talking about something else. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with her in a civil manner so that she gets the point? She already has names picked out that she says she will call the baby no matter what we name him or her.

Answer 1

you name the baby what you want. not what she wants. talk to your husband and get him to talk to her.

shes probably worried due to the fact that she lives further away. you should try to reassure her and maybe start to go out together just you 2 when she comes down. she will probably like some bonding.

by the way, is this her first granchild?

hope i helped and the best of luck!  

Answer 2

If you find out I'd like to know too. My MIL is pretty much the same way except she lives close and my mom and dad doesn't. She already picked out the babys nursery. We won't know boy/girl for 3 more weeks, but she insists its a girl. So she always says when Dixie gets here. I mean it's the name we picked out, but it annoys me b/c what if it's a boy? She also has a bad side. We all live together, my SIL is her youngest and she is 7 months pregnant. She is having a boy and my MIL has to put her first. Like if someone would bring up me and the baby she has to change the subject. I feel as if we do have a boy she will not show any attention to him. So pretty much all we can do is try to get through it. People won't change, even when asked nicely. GL

Answer 3

People like her need a "shut up" answers. 'Cos being polite will never help such people, so just shut her down once and for all.

Answer 4

my god,i know these type of people u r dealing,god be with u,tell her that i am the mother not u,and i have the right to call my son the name i wish,coz he is my baby,and i gave birth to him,it is my right to name him,tell her that if it is the other way around how would u like to deal with the situation,like if u where the mother and ur mother in law wants to name ur son,what will that makes u feel,tell her that,and if she still does not listen to u then let ur husband talk some sense into her,u r husband and wife,an independent couple not kids who there parents must choose every thing for them,u can make ur own choices as a couple,and that for sure include nameing ur born son.and if by any case that does not work,then just ignore here coz that will bring u too much unwanted stress and could effect ur pregnancy.by the way,if u like the letter A for a name,then try the name angel,just a suggestion.good luck.

Answer 5

Wow... sounds childish.

I think you and your husband (especially your husband) need to tell her now that thisis your baby and not hers.  Although I do like Luke for a name.

Answer 6

Just ignore her.  She lives a few states away, so there is no way that she can possibly have that much influence over you, your husband or the baby.  She can call the baby what ever she wants, but unless he is called the same name every day, it won't stick.  Just humor her, or stop answering the phone.  If you want to actually deal with her, then say "My husband and I will pick a suitable name when the baby is born" and "I'm sure the baby will have enough love to go around".  Stuff like that.