Now this is abt my 9 yr old daughter. She is an excellent girl .?

Question

Studies well, enjoys music , is a great artist, is very much into learning new things , but just one day she forgot her art book at home and her teacher very promptly gave her a black badge along with 12 other girls of the same class. She was very upset , did not tell me the reason tried to hide ths from me but i asked her many times so she told abt this. In the night she could not sleep becaue she dreaded wearin that awful thing to school the next day, I went with her to school nxt day, spoke to the teacher concerned, she says she gave her that coz she did not bring her book to school. And she removed it there and then. This is definitely harresment. how do I deal with this????????????????????????????????????... This may have a lasting effect on her tender mind . I dont want to get bothered abt reporting this to the school principal because this may bring more trauma to my child. But i want to get my child out of this ASAP and most carefully. Pl help.She and I are very upset abt this and dont know what to do .

Answer 1

like wat is da problem i thought u said she took it off. i wouldn't mind it i'd leave it alone. but if u feel da need to go and tell the principal go ahead....juss leave it anonymous or sumthing that way she could b spoken to bout dis. or do wat my parents would do...bring it up at a pta meeting or schedule a parent teacher conference wit the teacher...but if i will u juss leave it alone that way nobody would b ragging on ur daughter all da time....probaly let her have a teacher change...don't worry i think she can deal wit it last yr...i was also in art and i had the most horrrible art teacher she was mean...she didn't respect anything she would get u in trouble for things u didn't do..but i dealt wit it talk to da counselor problem solved she treated me like a best frann wit out all da talk and all

Answer 2

whats uis the problem? you said the teacher removed it there and then.  

Answer 3

So let me get this straight. She got into trouble because she accidentally forgot her book and therefore had to wear a badge showing that she did something bad?

You're right, that is harassment. I would say s***w the teacher for making her wear it and simply talk to your daughter and tell her that everyone makes simple mistakes like that. I'm a good student also, but there have been a few times where I forgot a book or paper or something and had to go to my locker to get it. It's not that big of a deal. If anything the teacher will sigh in annoyance, scribble a pass for me to go to my locker... and that's that. Our school doesn't have badges or anything.  

Answer 4

Just leave the things to settle down by itself, don't stretch too far.

The teacher was not biased to your child alone, there were other 11 too of her classmates.

Confidence in the goodness of another, is good proof of one's own goodness.

Answer 5

just forget about it ....its a simple thing that teachers do to discipline...just because youre child is one of the best behaved she cannot be singled out from the rest ...she must be treated equally just like the others.

Answer 6

Inform the principal, it is his job to know what the teachers in his school are up to. It is humiliating to have to wear a black badge. It reminds me of the Jews having to wear yellow stars! It was my first thought!  A nine year old who forgets her book should have to bring her chair next to another child and look on for the class. No punishment.

Answer 7

Hi,

I can agree the child is upset. That too when she is usually good and prompt, this will sound too odd for her. But mistakes do happen and the she should learn to see the positive side always. I dont see this as an harasment. Every teacher will hv a system to disiplin the kids. As long as it is not physically hurting them, it is ok. When it comes to a mistake and the teacher punish students for what they lag, it cannt be diff to diff kids. Nothing wrong in the teacher give her a black badge.

Actually, as a mom you have to talk to her abt undertand things and accept it. Nothing to feel bad abt a punishment. We need to prepare them to accept success and failure with equal spirit. If she is so much upset for such an issue, how she is going to face the life later where sometimes we end up facing more trouble and rejection? She has to accept and understand the negative side also. She should not be kept away from that part of life. But she should be taught to face and handle that situation.

Next, never go to school to argue with the teacher to support the kid. That makes them take the teacher too easy. Scared of after effect, sometimes teacher will give up and apologies. But later the kid will not respect him as a teacher. Teacher doesnt loose anything, she is one out of 50 children in the class. But the child looses a lot if the teacher doesnt give the usual personal attention to the kid.The teacher punish the kid make him/her performe well.

As grown up elders, we have to put ourself in both kid's place and the teacher's place to see what is right and whom we should suport. If at all you think what the teacher does is wrong, better talk to the teacher alone without making ur kid aware of it and share ur views.

Msg me in YM if u wish

Answer 8

I am sorry, but she did forget her book, along with 12 other girls in the same class.  If they all got the black button, then she certainly deserved to get one also.

It is being fair to all.  She will have to deal with it.  Sorry.

Answer 9

Sadly there are teachers out there that use some very old teaching practices for example shaming, humiliation etc... It is very sad. This is exactly why I don't use any behavior system that the other kids can see outright.

I totally understand your concern and the best thing to do is to talk to your child's teacher. If you go straight to the higher ups and report it  then be prepared to deal with the repurcusions. Do you want to be known as that parent? This teacher already uses a poor practice in terms of consequences, what makes you think she will not take it out on your daughter in the future?

My suggestion would be to talk to your teacher about why this can't happen to your child. YOu have that right.I'm a teacher and I get annoyed sometimes by all the "special arrangements" I need to make for those picky parents. In this case, I dont' think it's picky. YOu will just need to be very careful, polite and also firm. Be a listener when conferencing to your child's teacher. If you talked to the teacher AND it happens again, THEN go to the principal. Above all, don't go around gossiping this issue with other parents. That will put on the bad side of the teacher and frankly you have to have her for the rest of the year.

Answer 10

talking to the principal will fix it,

it wontbring more trauma,,

so just do it,

or request a teacher change.

Answer 11

I can understand how important it is at this stage to console ur child & get her out of this trauma. I would suggest u to bring this to the principal's concern & discuss the future effect if the child might loose interest. U could save other kids life too by stopping the harrasment by the teacher.

U can do all this without the knowledge of ur daughter if u think it might disturb her more.

Answer 12

I think you should talk to the Principal of the school about this and try to talk with teacher and let her know that your daughter is punctual but humans make mistake and its little girl she made mistake.Teacher shold not punish kids for first time mistake she should have first warned her.Try to tell the teacher that what a big impact that had made on your daughter.If she dont understand talk to the principal.

Answer 13

I would be upset as well. She needs a different system of handling those kind of mistakes. Maybe a board that you give and take away points, but how ridiculous it is for this teacher to make children wear something that represents their mistakes. She may have given her a scarlet letter.

I would be upset as well. Thankfully it was removed and I hope she finds a new system to deal with mistakes.  

Answer 14

What is a black badge?

Teach your child that everyone makes mistakes and is forgetful but there are consequences for everything. Through her mistakes, she will grow. Have her place her books and bookbag by the front door the night before so she is ready to "grab it and go" in the morning. If I were you, I wouldn't make a big deal about it with the teacher and school. Your daughter is watching you very carefully in this situation. By insisting that her actions do not deserve consequences, you are showing her that she can get away with things in the future and that you will always be there to bail her out. I'm sure you won't agree with my statements, but remember that I am looking at this from an unbiased point of view. If you want what is best for your child, focus more on getting her books to school, rather than the "unfairness" of the situation.  

Answer 15

Children up to 15 get harassed very easily. They can not tolerate like us. You might have seen such situation in traffic jam, thy will ask hundred times when it will be cleared, how we move from here? and many more. A lot of such fear factor houses in them, some time they express some time not. It is also a very common unfair situation she has faced. As she has narrated all the story to you, you are viewing it from your end. Many times they do not express such events where they get offended by teachers or group of friends. A self respect of children are hurt many times by friends, teacher, relatives. All such issues can not be resolved by us they have to fight out also and with time she will learn to manage. Let her fight, let her explain, let her manage.  

Answer 16

Let me get this right, the children had to wear the black badge to school the next day and advertise that they forgot their book or got in trouble?  Um, well that really isn't an appropiate way of handling behavior management.  Definately bring this up with the principal.  You do not have to involve your child... have a meeting with the principal yourself and discuss this matter.