Nutty Best Man speech?

Question

My fiance' is having his younger brother stand up as his Best Man in 10 days. His brother, lets call him "BILL", is a bit of a nut. He does a LOT of funny voices, and always gets laughs where ever he goes. I've caught wind of him planning to do his Best Man toast in his "Arnie". (from the Movie, "what's Eating Gilbert Grape"....Arnie was the mentally retarded boy played by Leonardo diCaprio..... Anyways... I think it would be HILARIOUS.... and so does my Fiance'....

HOWEVER.... I actually HAVE a mentally disabled cousin. And my youngest son is also Mentally Disabled. While WE know he's not poking fun at people with disabilities, some of the other guests may not find this funny at all.

Should I send word back through the grape vine that "Arnie" should NOT be making the toast? (Cuz I bet the weird Chinese guy could do it instead.)

Answer 1

It would be incredibly offensive to have him make the toast while mocking people with mental disabilities. My guess is that the majority of your guests will consider it tacky and inappropriate, even if they know the context. I would strongly advise you to have him give a toast in a funny voice that does not mock anyone's disabilities, or their race (in the case of the "weird Chinese guy").

Answer 2

I would be disgusted. I have disabled family members and I work with Autistic children (which is what Arnie has in the movie, not "mentaly retardation"). To be perfectl honest, I'd leave a soon as I could after hearing something like that. Uptight or not, there's limits.

I find it odd that you support this with a disabled child. You really need to be breaking down these stigma's, not feeding them. I wonder how your son feels about it.

This kid needs some therapy if it's that big of an issue (seriously, I'm not being catty) that he needs to hid behind "characters".  

Answer 3

I would make sure your Fiance lets him know that he shouldn't do it.  I understand that it is just in fun but people are going to be offended.  Have him do a different voice instead and I am sure it will be just as funny.

Answer 4

it might seem funny now, but it's not something you'll look back on and appreciate years from now. he should give a speech from the heart and use the silly speech maybe at the rehearsal dinner the night before. and yeah, leave Arnie at home...that could be seriously offensive. (though id probably find it funny).

Answer 5

A goofy best man speech really isn't the best idea in the first place. Maybe he could just speak from the heart, and not try to be Robin Williams?

Answer 6

Yes, I would get your fiance to tell his brother that some people might be offended if he does an Arnie voice. You never know, they could see it as a joke too but since they don't know him it's probably best to stick on the safe side than have upset people. He could find another one to do that doesn't hit so close to home.

Answer 7

Yes I could see where some people might get offended.  I really don't think that , that is a memory you would like to leave with everyone.

Answer 8

It wouldn't be funny to do the voice of Arnie at all.  My son is Autistic and I am deeply offended by the thought of this.  Funny voices are great but not during your toast.  This is your wedding.  The toast should be serious and heartfelt.  This is going to be on your wedding video and something that you will always remember.  Just tell him to act his age and if he wants to be immature and nutty that he can do it the rest of the night.  He is just going to make himself look dumb and you don't want it to upset or offend anyone at the wedding but especially don't do it since your cousin and son are mentally disabled. The weird Chinese guy? Grow up please.