Ny 6 year old step son has terrible hygiene when it comes to cleaning himself up after a bowle movement.?

Question

For the past year I have had him I noticed this issue. We tried wet wipes, instructions using dolls, and praise for clean underwear, as well as taking away privilages. This bothers me greatly as he basically doesnt even wipe, and he smells terrible. I thought that when he started kindergarten this year it would stop, it didn't. His mother says she never noticed it (I guess navy blue underwear could be why). I can deal with his fingers non stop up his nose (yes i do correct him), him holding his genitals ( i ask if he needs the restroom), his lying and his "ouch that hurt" over the slightest touch and since he is 6 his dad doesnt bathe him, and he lies about using soap every time he bathes here. I know all those require consistency in correction, but I am at a loss for the hygiene issue. Please can i get some suggestions on how this can be corrected.

Answer 1

You have to get on him now about it because boys are gross and will not clean themselves if you don't get him into it now.  Grown men still don't wipe themselves correctly.  Stick with the wipes and make sure he has a system like wipe three times or until there is nothing on the wipe.  That's a good one all men could follow.  As they get older it gets worse until they finally start liking girls.  My nephew at 13 would not brush his teeth.  My friend's son at 11 would run the shower and sit on the toilet  and not even get in ( not sure how he explained the dry hair he must have wet it or something)  Get his dad in on it and make him prove that he is clean or you guys will have to start giving him a bath.  6 isn't that old that if you peeked in to make sure he is really washing that it would be that big of a deal.

Answer 2

My eldest son used to have this problem, but he's grown out of it. I think that boys especially have difficulties in this area.

I don't think that a six year old should be allowed to bathe without some kind of supervision.

My son also used to have smelly fingers and he'd also fiddle with himself and spread poo smears over stuff, but it's all stopped now.

All you can do is sit him down and try to coach him and always supervise him in the bath - you can get some nice bath bubbles to add to the water and coach him to use the soap properly - also wash his hair for him.

I think that's about all you can do as the mother should be doing all this for him really - it's up to her to educate him if she's the one that's with him the most.

Try not to stress about it - some kids just take longer to get 'housetrained' than others. My son is now 9, but I still have to supervise his toothbrushing - if I didn't then they'd be yellow!

Answer 3

You need to do the job and step in cause he needs help.. He probly doesnt understand show him over and over again (pratice makes perfect) and help him bath hes only 6!

Answer 4

Wow, I have had the same problem.  Little boys are so unsanitary.  I have literally had to smell my boys' hair and bodies and teeth after they get out of the tub to make sure they washed, bc if there is any way they can get out of using soap, they will (I never understood this, they will go further out of their way to convince me that they used soap, than it would take to actually wash themselves.)  And, for the longest time, my youngest son had disgusting underwear, as well, and that really, really bothered me mainly because it didn't seem to bother him at all (that is so gross!)  Also, I have found it difficult to get either of my boys to want to fix their hair in the morning before school, no matter how messy it is.  At first, I tried just simply talking to them about how important hygeine is, and how it is embarassing to smell bad, figuring that reasoning and common sense would help them to care...  but it was a lot harder than that.  So, I moved to negative reinforcement, and I had to be tough in order for it to be effective, so it took a while to set the limits.  But, I found that if you make their life miserable enough because of it (like, a whole day of grounding to the bedroom), and STAY CONSISTENT with it, they will learn.  I know it sounds harsh, but I think it is important to find whatever will work to teach your kid, (too, I'm sure the severity of the consequences varies with each kid, grounding works for mine) because good hygeine is such a significant personal habit to maintain.  Also, the younger they are when they accept personal habits like that, the better.  My boys are 10 and 12 now, and they are constant works in progress.

If negative reinforcement sounds too harsh, positive reinforcement would work, too.  Like, you could make a 'proper bath time and bathroom-using procedure' chart (but make it sound like more fun than that), and have him check off all the things he does every night, and then give him lots of praise, and possibly a small bribe for a week or 2 of good effort...        Good luck!!

Answer 5

At six you cannot expect him to do anything perfectly. Help him and explain the process in as simple terms as possible. Keep checking after him until you are satisfied he can do it by himself. Be patient, he is only six and it could take another year or more before he does it right.

Answer 6

Why don't you just bathe him yourself? If he complains, tell him that he needs it and since he can't do it himself, then he has to be treated like a baby because you have to do it. Buy him white underwear and take away his food and liquids 2 hours before he goes to bed. I would just basically take on all of the things he should be doing for about a week. Then let him do them for a week. If it gets worse, take him to the doctor and see if there may be something wrong with him. There may actually be pain which is stopping him...

Answer 7

There are quite a few six-year-olds who don't have good enough coordination to do this job as well as it should be done.   There are also a lot of 6-year-olds who don't do a good job bathing themselves, especially when it comes to hair-washing.   In both cases, adult intervention is needed.

If he won't wipe, or wipe fully, you or his Dad should follow up his efforts with a few swipes of your own.  If he's not bathing with soap, you or his Dad should be sitting in the bathroom with him, supervising the job.  In fact, it's possible that he's looking for attention with ALL these negative behaviors.   The whole issue of living in two different households can be extremely difficult for children this age.  He may be "regressing" a little bit because he needs some coddling, and is just not feeling like a big boy at the moment.

Answer 8

Your answer is with his father.  You are the step mom and he may feel uncomfortable or intimidated by you.  He is only 6.  You need to be talking to Dad.  He should be handling this issue.

Answer 9

You have to keep telling him each time he goes potty.   I do that with my 4 y/o.

When I do laundry I have her help me take them out of her hamper.  I tell her "sweetie come help me, " I point to the undies and make a face :/ and close my nose and tell her where to put them -in the washer or in another pile etc.

She gets embarressed and tada.... clean undies next time I do a load.  

also I remind her each time she goes potty and I also show her how to wash when she takes a shower or bath.

I did tell her that I was going to start throwing them away and then she'll have nothing to wear and she'd have to go w/out.. LOL thats a bit mean but she laughs and says she's sorry and so far.... she's doing really well.  lol