OK just came up with it watcha think

Question

My heart burns

As the world around me turns

Lost souls in a surf about to crash

Against the rocks of media they will smash

As the tear departs my eye

I know that they say men don't cry

Young girls perging for the perfect form

Even the youngest seeks to conform

How do we neglect the sunken faces

We turn our head from the broken places

Love no longer holds the same value

just kinda spit it out right now needs work i know but any suggestions?

Answer 1

I LOVE YOUR POEM!!!  i don't think it needs work at all. :)

Answer 2

Do you know someone who is dealing with anorexia?

Maybe add something along the lines of the conclusion or the result of the purging behavior...

Great start... Some of my best stuff comes out in a five second scribble on the back of a napkin while I'm driving....

Good Luck...