OK so i am about ready to slap the living h**l out of my hubby ?

Question

PS:Sorry i am a bit pissed today so some words may start flying out .

I had no idea i would here asking this question today but i guess this is my turn . my hubby of 5 years is acting stupid and he thinks i dont know . all of this started last week when he was a bit way too quiet but very nice to me, doing everything i wanted , but he didint want to talk about what was bothering him . i have never felt the need to check on him cause i trust him . i trusted him enough to let him go in my sister 's hubbys club on friday without me . boy he came home and the next day i felt something wasnt right . so i took his phone and all of the incoming text messages were erased but not the outgoing ones so i had the chance to read two of them before he got out of the bathroom . they were to a female one was saying" i really liked your company tonight , it was fun thanks " and the other " did you get home safe? , what are u still doing up? you should go to bed." two mn after i went back in there to finish reading them and i saw that he erased all of them also . this was since friday and i didnt ask him anything cause i am too tired and sick right now . heck i am 18 weeks prego and headaches are just killing me. he is being great at helping in the house and is never going out but his blackberries isnt leaving his pocket either . geez if it is what i think it is i am so ready to kick him , beat him and slap him . you know all that . i mean i am here suffering and him, having fun? and me who was thinking about doing something special for his birthday coming next week ? God what should i do ? I am just so pissed i can t think straight. should i confront him? he will say i dont have any proof?

Answer 1

I have been here and please don't let him off.Tell him you know and want a bloody expination.The fact he deleted the messages proves he is hiding things from you.Maybe he was drunk and did something he shouldn't but he should be man enough to admit it.Only problem with this is he wasn't too drubk to give her his mobile number.Dont be a mug and let him walk all over you.If he gets away with it once he WILL do it again.Good luck with the baby and hope you work things out.

Answer 2

The saying goes: "Revenge is a dish best served cold, but when you need to tear someone a new a*****e, it should be hot off the grill."

You shouldn't have waited... The evidence is gone, you have to either wait for new evidence to pop up, or let it go.

Answer 3

Just FYI about trying to see what number was text the cell company will be of little help even if you are on the account. My daughters phone was stolen and she waited 2 days to tell me so we got stuck with over $100 of text messaging bill. I tried to get the phone numbers of who was being texted in order to track back who stole the phone. The cell company said they could not release the information to me that it would take a court order for them to release that data. So I droped it paid the $100 and dropped that cell carrier.

Answer 4

First of all calm down! Your health right now is way more important than him. You do have proof, confront him about it and get some answers then decide what needs to be done. Don't let him get to you and stress you out so bad, your baby is totally wayyyy more important!!!  

Answer 5

you can call your cell phone service and they can print out the inbox/outbox to your hubby's phone there's some proof :)

Answer 6

You need to confront him and suggest that you both need to see a marriage counselor.  Go without him if he won't go.  Take care of yourself.  Best wishes.

Answer 7

He is helping so much bc he he is guilty?  I don't think I would want those messages on my bf phone.  He would be in deep **** and your pregnant you do not need this stress.  Confront him and tell him you say the messages next time write down the number they came from.

Answer 8

ahh.. okay... first... calm down hunny.

He is very wrong with what he did... I don't care who these woman are, and it doesn't even matter whether he slept with them or not... either way, the whole msging thing and hiding it from you and thinking he's not going to get caught - he's wrong! and he's a fool for thinking that he's not going to get caught.

This is what I think is happening here.... I'm sure he loves you etc, but he is maybe straying??? and wants to try what he could get away with?? not sure what his real intentions are, that is something you won't find out about and he won't tell you no matter what you do and he probably doesn't even know what he wants himself and is just going with the flow.

If you confront him about this... first, he's going to get very defensive and get mad about you not respecting his privacy and probably say they were just friends or a friends' friend and I just wanted to see if they were okay or some other bullsh*t.... He could arrange meetings with them just for lunch or dinner or whatever, and if he didn't sleep with them already, it could lead to that eventually. . . so you need to play detective really well, if you confront him now... he will hide it better and he will make sure you do not go anywhere near his phone again and this could be bad for you because he will get away with more things. He is not going to just stop just because you saw these msgs and you got mad at him... trust me on this. you need to catch him in the act or if you see more msgs confront him right then and there.

I was with a man who did similar things, he had his phone with him 24/7, even when he went to take a shower!! this is when I knew something was up, he made sure I didn't see his phone at all every minute his eyes were on the phone and making sure I didn't get anywhere near it.... all the msgs were deleted at all times but I caught him a few times and I ended it, why? because I will NOT take this type of disrespect when I am NOT doing anything like this to him ---so he can go and be with one of those girls and he DOES NOT deserve a woman like me who is faithful!

Be smart and don't let him walk all over you!

Answer 9

I SAY YOU CONFRONt him. You are pregnant with his child and you trusted him and he took advantage of that~ Tell him you know about the texts and if he is a man he will have some explaiing to do if not he will deny it all.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 10

get more evidence before you do then he cant weasle out. i was 6 mths pregnant with my son i figured my husband was cheatin or at least thinking it. So I checked out the phone bills found out he was still talking to his ex. We got into a huge fight about it but of course I had no more evidence then that and he lied said her brother called him on her phone cause his was out of service. Well of course my dumb butt believed him not even two wks later day the day of father's day he left for the hotel that him and his co workers were staying out cause he was working oil field so he was gone all the time. I went up fathers day night and stayed the night and left that next day when I was heading back to our town his ex was heading up there. Well I finally had enough of seeing her number on our bills that I went into her job * she works at her family's feed store* and asked her about it. She had pictures of him on her phone txt messages saved and voicemails saved I had enough evidence I confronted him. At first I was screaming divorce I was so mad and furious. I mean what woman who finds out their husband cheated doesnt scream that. But I took a trip to the hotel  cause I was tired of talking about it on the phone so I went to talk about it face to face we decided to work it out. Cause I mean 4 months of stress and bs dumped on us kinda tore us apart and we realized that. So here we are still married and I had our son recently on the 24th of August and we are happier then ever. But trust me get more evidence it helps out a whole lot!!! cause he will just lie is way out of it just like my husband did the first time

Answer 11

Well i hope this will help. what cell phone compnay do you. most offer call detail like i have sprint. i can check right online how to track his calls and they go back with in five months. i caught my husband making calls too and i did comfront him of corce he did not know what i was talking about. like a cell phone can just dial these woman on its own. thats the best way i can tell you and if you like you can email me at [e-mail] and i can walk you threw how to get the call details from his cell phone aslong as you have the account info and the cell phone number. most people can look up account info online. please try this and trust me. it works...  

Answer 12

If you confront him and all he would say is "you do not have proof" indicates your husband does not care too much how you feel. He cares more about getting away with a balant lie, even though you tell him how bad you feel about seeing those text messages. I always said, a married man does ot belong in clubs they are for single people. . Also, slapping him is not the solution and only makes you lose your dignity.  You and your husband need to re-evaluate what you both want from this marriage.  

Answer 13

Although I have great sympathy for what you are going through as a pregnant woman, I do have to say that some people forget that pregnancy also has a huge effect on the man.

I am in no way excusing his behavior, but 1. you don't know what really happened. (most likely just chatting). 2. Your hormones have made you so much less attractive that he is probably really doubting his love for you.

He shouldn't be doubting but I have noticed that some women let their emotions just run wild with the disclaimer that they are pmsing or pregnant. THERE IS NO excuse for acting poorly and if this is the case... then he is probably separating from you in his heart...

I have never allowed a woman to act poorly just because of hormones. If it is OK for you to act on yours then a mans sexual hormones are included in that and I don't think you want to go there.

If you want to keep him, set him down and tell him that you know this is effecting him as well. Tell him that you may not have been on your best behavior and that any bad behavior will stop immediately!

Also, tell him that you are aware of his phone chat and that you are hurt. Ask him to explain and ask if he still wants to stay married. Tell him to come clean and fess up... and if he didn't go too far that you want to find out why he did what he did and solve the root problem... not just pounce on the symptoms... which is flirting or worse.

Cheating on a pregnant woman is really bad... one of the worst... but pregnancy is not an excuse to treat a loved one badly. If you did... expect him to not want you anymore... or at least less than what he did.

Act like an adult and take responsibility for your actions... it's not wrong to feel something but if you behave poorly because of it, then you are wrong.

He doesn't sound like a player so I would suspect he is reacting to something he does not like about you.

Answer 14

Well you really don't have much.  It's not like he said something that implicates him in anything.  He's just going to say it was some friend or something that he ran into.  

Answer 15

talk to your sisters hubby, he might have some valuable info, and then i would talk to him. and be up front, i would even tell him you saw the texts to a girl on his phone saying that he enjoyed her company, i would also keep an eye out for that phone bill, or order a detailed bill, and call every number you dont recognize, then when a female answers i would ask her how she knows your hubby. that will be your proof, if you really want to know what is going on...

You need to talk to him though.

Answer 16

I am so sorry!!!! =(

Did the two of you talk about this kind of thing before you got married? Have you always had a mutual understanding of what is appropriate and what is not? Definitely talk to him about it! But don't fly off the handle. Calm down first and get your facts straight. How do you know they were from women? Could it have been a prank that your brother-in-law or another friend was playing on him? Tell him that what he did hurt you and destroyed the trust you had for him and that you'd never do that because in your mind, that's considered cheating. Listen to his side of the story. Then decide how to handle it. Trust me, if he loves you, he'll be begging your forgiveness-- maybe even crying-- when he sees how bad he's hurt you.

I don't know how you've made it 3 days. I'd have been asking him about it the second I saw the text messages.

Answer 17

Hmmm, get more evidence, everything is just too  little, he can easily lie his way out of it, and make you look stupid

Answer 18

i know its not funny for you , but it is very funny that he is busted , your preg , go ahead get a slap in , get it off your chest , a slap never hurt a man too bad , let him know your not one to put up with the bullshyt , proof , why doo you need proof , tell him your no idiot you read the messeges , why the h**l does he think your slapping him , then even though you might not have kept the number tell him you did , and tell him your gonna call his lil gf and tell her your going to enjoy her company also , cause your gonna slap the h**l out of her also ,ill bet he starts trippin then .

Answer 19

Yeah I would just wait this out.  If it becomes more you will know and have better ammunition to confront.  In the meantime, take a bubble bath or a nice walk and pamper yourself.  You need to take care of yourself and the baby.

Answer 20

Try to wait to talk to him until you feel better. Then, what freaking proof do you need? He's texting a woman who isn't you and it must stop. I doubt that he did much besides talk to this woman and she probably doesn't even know you exist, but it must stop. Period

EDIT: the advice below from MINDLESS is exactly that. Who stuck that baby in there? You didn't get into this on your own, so tough if it's a bit of a challenge for your husband. It's a bit of a challenge for you, too, right? Mindless has the vocabulary of an adult with the ideas of a narcissistic child.

Answer 21

You have to think this through. The fact that you are so pissed off, he knows you suspect something and that's why he erased his messages and why he is being so nice to you. You don't have to SHOW him any proof, so don't let him get away with playing that game with you.

The real question here is....after you yell, scream, and beat the c**p out of him, then what??? Do you stay with him and worry that he will cheat on you again? He will know that you don't trust him and he will be really careful to cover his tracks now. Or do you leave him? Decide what you will do, before you do it. Can you live with a man who has cheated on you or can you forgive him and ever trust him again? Think about this very carefully, before you make your next move.

If you decide you will stay and give him another chance, then come straight out and ask him, "who is she and don't play dumb with me and act like you don't know what I'm talking about, because I'm really pissed off right now and if you start lying to me about your relationship with this woman, then your *** is out the door. Your only chance of saving this marriage is to come clean with me. It's bad enough, what you did, but to insult my intelligent by lying to me will surely end this marriage."

Men are idiots! They think that if a woman knows in her heart that he cheated on her, that he's innocent until proven guilty. That may work in a court of law, but it doesn't work in a marriage. You know what you read on his phone and by him erasing the messages, doesn't mean he never wrote them. YOU don't have to prove anything! He's the one who has to do a lot of explaining. If you don't believe his story them call him on it. You don't have to except his lies.

Remember you are pregnant and having problems with headaches. More stress isn't good for you or the baby. I know this is easier said then done, but try to stay as calm as possible through all this.

I wish you the best and congratulations on the upcoming birth of your child.

Answer 22

I say confront him. He has no right to be playing games with you especially in the state you're in. h**l , your pregnant with his child. But try to be as rational as possible because i know your hormones are out of control. Let him know what you saw and tell him that it's not funny or cute.  

Answer 23

YES, YOU SHOULD CONFRONT HIM.

I WOULDN'T JUST SIT THERE AND WONDER.

MAYBE ALSO ASK YOUR BRO IN LAW IF HE

WAS TALKING TO ANYONE THAT NIGHT. YOUR

PREGNANT & YOU DESERVE BETTER. s****.>
DEFF. CONFRONT HIM.

Answer 24

You need to confront him! But, before you do you need to be calm. Ask him, is something going on, did something happen the other night at the club?? I don't think you necessarily have to have evidence, if he really does care for he will tell you. Tell him that night you just felt an awfull feeling in your gut that something happened

You are going to have to keep your cool if you want him to tell you the truth though, you can't start yelling at him, jsut sit him down and ask him about it, of course tears should work!

Answer 25

you have to be patient and play this smart, you need to gather up your evidence, write down what you read so you dont forget, write down the #'s, and if you can't get the blackberry out of his sight, you will need to do your own PI work, just be prepared to go through some drama and figure out what you are going to do when you find out he has cheated on you while you are pregnant. Some women can't get over that forever, I know I couldn't.

Answer 26

By you feeling sick, and irritated by your pregnancy, he feels it too. Men can't deal with pain, especially if it's changing someone else. They just escape the only way they know how, and that is the ego trip. Anything just to get away from you. I don't think this is a permanent thing with him, just running from your pregnancy. Once the baby arrives, check out how he's acting then. As for now, try to calm yourself otherwise you'll hurt your baby, and lose him for good. Best of luck!

Answer 27

u could set up a surprise party for him at ur brother in laws club and see who shows up and who he talks to and who he doesn't.just don't loose ur cool,public fights help nothing.