OK...what am I doing wrong...?

Question

I'm in love with a wonderful man...but when it comes to s*x...its just that...s*x...which was adequate in the beginning--but now I feel left out of the equation...I have tried talking to him about it--because he preaches communication--although it is very hard for me to talk about what I want--but I have tried many times. And he either gets offended by what I say, and gets mad--or says ok, we will work on it....but nothing really changes. Am I asking too much? How do I approach the subject without seeming selfish? By the time I get "into" things....its over...I'm at a loss.....we are both mature adults and have known each other for nearly two years. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

No your not asking too much.  Sounds like he's being selfish to begin with.  A suggestion: tell him either you are going to be pleased too or you don't see the point of having s*x because it's not good for you.  

Answer 2

I have 2 poems you should read. I wrote them, "Sexual Passion" and "Great Affection". They are on my website, you should read them together. Hope i was some help!

Answer 3

Do not think I am weird but have you tried to m********e together to show him what you like?

Answer 4

Radical honesty is the answer regardless of the consequences.

If either of you is masking or hiding what you really want then your frustration will never end.

Get rid of your fear of telling each other who you really are and what you really want sexually regardless of your maturity judgements.

Pure sexuality is about total exposure - body and soul.  This level of vulnerability makes everyone naturally nervous because the potential for damage is considerable and thus requires genuine trust.

Answer 5

Without seeming selfish?  How is that selfish?  Would he be s******g you day in & day out without EVER having an o****m?  DOUBT IT.  You should be MAD.  I would be.  Tell him straight out that you are not a freakin blow up doll for his amusement.  

Answer 6

You are not being selfish at all.  Most men complain that women wont tell them what they want in the bedroom.  Tell him that you would like to keep the lines of communication open, and that this is what you would like to do, etc. etc.  Don't be afraid to experiment with different positions, toys, etc.  Make sure to reassure him that it is not anything he is doing wrong.  There are lots (and lots) of women that either cannot get off during intercourse, or that take longer to.  Foreplay is very very important.  Maybe start on him first and he will take the hint and return the favor ;)