OMG, I what should I do?

Question

I have 5 kids (13, 6, 4, 3, and 1). The 3 and 4 year old started school this Monday (they go Monday, Wednesday and Friday). Then the 13 and 6 year old started school Thursday. Today was goin to be my first day with everyone out BUT......

My brother-in-law's mother had a stroke 3 months ago. His mother lives 2 hours away. My sister and he husband went to visit her right and left his kids (7, 7, 5, 3, 14 months) with me for a week. Everything was going well, but now the doctors are worried. My sister and her husband are going down there. The kids can't miss school (it JUST started). They are now staying with me.

So, she brought over all their things, except she was too in a rush to pack outfits. My sister brought me the key and asked me to go over and bring some outfits. I went to their house, and the poor kids clothes are horrible! Everything is stained or has holes in it! I am amazed that my sister has that. And there are no winter/fall clothes anywhere to be found! I am shocked. I'd prefer not to have the kids looking like slobs! Should I buy some clothes for them? Everything summer is on clearance anyway, so I could buy a couple summer outfits for them? What do you think? Is that rude?

Answer 1

I would buy some new things for them. but don't pass judgment on your sister she is stressed out right now the clothes you found where probably play clothes or something did you look to see if there where others. i would call your sister for a couple of reasons 1: to make sure she is okay with you buying her kids clothes 2: make sure you have the right sizes 3: if there is anything particular that they need. good luck

Answer 2

I would talk to your sister and tell her you would very much love to get the kids an early 'Christmas' present. Since the kids are with you now you can be sure of getting the right size and style the kids would like.

Please don't say anything negative about their clothes, that would normally make a person defensive. But I would talk to the parents first before I did anything, THEY are  parents.  I hope you don't mind my saying, you sound like a super parent and a good friend to have.

Best of Luck!

Answer 3

I think its a nice gesture too buy them some new things.

But don't be as rude too your sister about it as you were on here, your going to majorly p**s her off at an already hard time.  

Answer 4

What should you do?

#1  stop using kid text language like "OMG"

#2 maybe the stroke curtailed clothes shopping. What's more important?

#3 yes it would be rude. See #2.

#4 Worry about your sister, bro-in-law and his mother, not clothes.

Answer 5

Wow....that's a lot of kids!!  I think that you buying the kids a few outfits would be just fine.  Like yousaid, all the summer stuff is on clearance now, and I'm sure your sister would appreciate it.  It sounds like she is going through a rough patch right now, and any help would be welcome.  But make sure you aren't strapping yourself for cash to buy her kids clothes.

Answer 6

so ur caring for 10 kids? wow. and i dont think it would be rude for u to buy the kids some clothes, i also dont think it would be rude to bring it to ur sisters attention. Its really bad for the children to go to school with ripped and dirty clothes, they will get made fun of, and im sure she doesnt want that to happen, if she cant afford to buy new clothes u could suggest her going to a thrift store or goodwill.  

Answer 7

I think that would be a good idea.I don't think that it is rude,But thoughtful of you .That's what good people do is think of others.It sounds like you are a good Mom and Aunt.I am sorry that you didn't get your well deserved time alone,But you will.I hope the Brother in laws  Mom gets well soon.I also hope your sister appreciates you.

Answer 8

that's really interesting. they MIGHT take offense if you buy clothes for them - but just in case, even if it offends them, call first and ask if that's all right.

if you don't want to call and don't have that relationship with them, then i suggest just buy them some new clothes and let them wear them and give them to your kids when they're done with them at school. that's easier - the parents won't find out.

and then you can always have a talk with them about their wardrobe...

haahah tough situation. best of luck and godspeed!

Answer 9

buy them some new clothes but mix them with the old one (like a new top and a old pair of jeans) so the paren is not embarrised

Answer 10

It won't hurt to buy a few new things for them.  Just don't go bankrupt over it!

you can get lots of clearance things as you said.  Also you can save money by getting second hand clothing.  Its used, but you can find gently used things that are still cool.  Plus as young as the kids are, anything new to them is cool. :)

Maybe say something to the children's parents about the dirty clothes, but be nice.  Can these people afford nice things?  With today's economy, I can barely afford decent clothes for myself, much less 5 kids!  If you don't want to mention it to the parents, just get a couple of new things for each child and give your reason as a nice gesture to cheer the kids up about a few days away from their parents.

Answer 11

God bless you honey, do what you feel; hopefully it's good!!

Answer 12

If you are able please buy.  Your sister has a lot on her mind, she may have assumed they had clothes to wear and never got the opportunity to check.  You do not have to overspend, consider good will to get jeans and what you can, then buy a few shirts.

Just tell your sister you wanted them to feel special for the first week, considering their parents were away, so you decided to buy a few outfits.

Answer 13

yeah just buy a couple of bits..im sure she wont b insulted..jus say u were pickin up stuff 4 ur kids n everythin was so cheap u got some 4 her kids also so they dont feel left out..just make out like it was easier 4 u to do..rather than that u were doin her a favour :)

Answer 14

I think it would be a wonderful gesture to buy the kids a few items.  Im sure your sister does NOT want her children going to school in stained and torn clothing. Your sister has a lot on her plate right now and she may not have had the time to get clothing in order.  

Answer 15

It may have just been the day before laundry day.  Don't pass judgement on her, the winter clothes are probably put away.  You can buy a few new things if you want, but don't make a big deal out of it.  She's dealing with alot right now, and the clothes are probably the last thing on her mind.  Good luck.

Answer 16

Yes ,yes ,yes i wish i had an aunt like you .

Answer 17

If you feel like they need some new clothes then go for it! After all,  you are their Aunt. And besides, their mom (your sister) has had a lot going on right now and would probably appreciate the gesture.  

Answer 18

Maybe see if you can find some nice second hand clothes, preferably in a more useful item like jeans and a sweater, some tidier t or long sleeve shirts. That way, your sister doesn't feel bad that you shelled out a lot of money on nice brand new clothes.

Did your sister have a chance to winter shop for the kids? If things have been hectic, she might just not have had time. It doesn't seem like they brought in the warmer 'Back to school' clothing until the last few weeks.

If the kids have got clean socks and underwear, covering clothes (no blown out seats of pants, or holes on the chest), and a warm enough jacket, then i don't see the problem. Stains, yes, aren't the nicest, but many kids live just fine with stained clothing. I would try doing some bleaching, heavier duty laundry detergent, and washing in warm or hot water to get rid of what you can and live with the rest. Warm water dissolves detergent better than cold. Hot water and bleach will sanitize even the dirtiest underwear, socks, and jeans. Use colour safe bleach for any bright colours, if you're worried about that.

Answer 19

if you can afford it go ahead and get them some clothes. i wouldn't call and ask her, there is no need. she left the children in your care, that means she trusts you to do what you deem necessary. "you think they should have a couple of new outfits for school to start the year off, and you were going for your kids anyway, and didn't want them to feel left out..... see where i am going here??

some people do not see things the same way we do-nice clothes, nice shoes, hair combed, bathed etc. this doesn't mean they are horrible parents, it just means they are a little different. mabey she cannot handle 5 kids as well as you do.and that is ok too, she just needs to organize a little better.

if she is your sister-ask her if she needs your help when things calm down a little. not money or babysitting, but mabey you can help her organize the house or set up a laundry plan, etc. good luck!!

Answer 20

Give her a call and mention you're going to be shopping to get a few more things for your kids (lie a little) and ask if she'd like you to pick up some new stuff for her brood aswell. Perhaps your sister is a tad worse off than you think and just can't afford the stuff. It isn't rude, it's a lovely gesture, but maybe mention something first. If you can't get to the shops in time, maybe your kids have spare outfits?

If you have a close enough relationship with your sister just say that you noticed the clothes were a bit grotty and figured she hadn't had a chance to get anything new so you'll do it for her. Don't give her the chance to say no. But only if you have the kind of relationship you can do that with.

Also-good god, does that mean you have 10 kids right now? i bet youre exhausted!!