OMG How Do I Tell My Friend To Stop Talking About Her Pregnancy?

Question

I'm happy for her, but my goodness this girl is driving me NUTS. Every time we talk its ALWAYS about her pregnancy. I'm 20 with no kids (nope I'm not pregnant) and she's 19, unmarried, and this is her first (she got pregnant on a one night stand and the baby daddy wants nothing to do with her). I know she's excited, but how do I politely ask her to stop talking to me about being pregnant.

I mean she's acting like its some God given talent that only she has. If I wanted to be I could get pregnant too, but I promise you this I wouldn't bore her to death with stories like, "I was shopping the other and I saw this baby blanket for $35 and...." or "I can't do *insert random task* because I'm pregnant and I have to think about my unborn child."

It's a total snooze fest for me. How do I make her stop cuz she's only at 14 weeks. HELP?

Answer 1

Let her talk a bit about it if you are her friend.. she is probably excited but deep down she is also worried.  because she knows that the father of the child will not marry her.. so try to bear her emotions a little bit longer.. her hormones changed due to the pregnancy.. she may be excited now.. there may also come a time when she is worried and concerned and need you...  just try to divert her attention.. and allow her a certain amount of time to talk about her baby.. then start changing the subject.. and do that every time she starts again but let her talk a little bit every time.. and if she eventually asks you why you change the subject .. then be honest with her.. tell her that you are happy with her that she is happy to become a mom but that you would also like to talk about other things.. not just about the baby.. that friendship is about making compromises.. that she can talk about it.. and you understand this is a major life change for her and will be even more so when the baby is born.. but that she should also find other subjects to discuss...you should be honest with her if it gets too much.. but in a friendly kind of understanding way... x*x

Answer 2

try & change the subject when she starts talking baby talk or pregnancy talk.. just be like "oh? i saw a kewl beach blanket the other day with Orlando Bloom on it. Speaking of Orlando, seen the latest PIRATES movie!? He was great in that huh?"

and just go off on something completely different that her body, pregnancy, shopping extravaganza's. :/

Answer 3

Wow.  So she really has no support, not even from her own friend?  It's an exciting time for her.  How would you feel if you were in her position, and was told to "Stop talking about it"?

Answer 4

Oh this is a tough one.  Like another poster said ... pregnant women don't like to be told to be quiet about their pregnancy.  I'm in my 30s & I've had many friends who got pregnant & suddenly could not talk about anything else.  9 months is a long time to only talk about HER & HER issues.  I was excited for them, big time, but after hearing about every little detail & every docs visit & every other thing, its as though the world stopped turning.  Not to mention that one or two of them decided to trivialise anything I tried to talk about, stating in summary that nothing in my life could be as important as having a baby.  During some of their pregnancies (2 friends), I even got divorced, but their self absorption meant that I couldn't always depend on them for support or interest.  I only had one who said 'if I get like them, kill me' ... but she never did.  She made an effort every time we caught up to ask about my life too, & in turn I was totally happy to join in baby talk ... it was a healthy mutual respect for where we both were in our lives.  I loved spending time with her shopping for both her girls, baby sitting, etc., cos I knew she had consideration for me too.

I've thought & thought about this, & there just isn't any easy way, is there.  My suggestion would be ....... organise a coffee or a catch up, nothing based around a meal or longer period of time.  This way, neither of you feel locked in if it gets nasty.  Make it somewhere quiet, but neutral ... that way if she wants to walk away, she can just leave.  Get coffee, & sit down & say 'before we go any further, I have something I want to say that is really, really hard & I don't know how to put it or how it will be received.  At the same time, I don't want our friendship to be affected, which is why I feel like I've got to say something.  I am very excited for you, & am supportive, & will be here for you for anything you need.  At the same time, I am feeling as though when we spend time together, we only talk about your pregnancy, & you have no interest in me or what I'm doing or what's happening in my life'.  So forth .... you get the idea.

I think its the only mature, respectful way you can raise the subject.  Unfortunately, the risk is, if she doesn't like what you're saying ... you could lose the friendship.  But the way its going, if its left, the friendship is going to end anyway cos you're not going to be able to endure this for the whole time.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Don't allow your responses to her to have an opening for her to continue.

I know where you are coming from, pregnant women will talk about it all day, every day, if you allow it.

I don't have children either, and am in my 20's, and have been on the recieving end of the details of this boring topic many many times.  You definitely don't want to insult a pregnant woman (TRUST ME!!!), but not allowing her to have an opening to continue the topic that only interests herself will help a lot in getting her to shift gears in conversation!

Good luck!  Remember these words of wisdom though: NEVER P.O. A PREGNANT WOMAN! ;)

Answer 6

This is kind of new to her, and she may not realize that she is talking non stop about being pregnant. She has no spouse to talk to about this sort of thing, so I'm sure her friends are next in line to hear every last detail.

I'm sure that she is just looking for support and by always seeming so special and pregnant, she's probably trying to reassure herself that everything will be okay even though she's going to be a single teenage mother. Put yourself in her shoes, too. But, for the good of your relationship with her try to drop the hint that she talks to you about something you have no experience with. Or, better yet, bring along a family member or someone with you who has had kids when you visit her. Then maybe the baby burden will be on someone else who has more experience and interest in the topic.

A lot of times when people are experiencing something new they may rant about it to people who don't care and not realize it's bothersome. (ex; new couples talk constantly to single people about oh my girlfriend/boyfriend does this and says this, blah blah. if you don't mention it she might not know to stop.)

Answer 7

Nice friend you are! Bear with it! She is excited and share the excitement!

Answer 8

Cut back your get-togethers with her.

Is she aware that even if the biological father here wants nothing to do with the child he still has some serious legal obligations here?  The fact that it was a one night stand is irrelevant.