OMG I found out that my bridal shower invites are asking people to pay at a restaurant and bring a gift. Help?

Question

Another friend told me in confidence but I need to stop this, I would totally not do this. How do I handle it, the invites are going out tomorrow.

Answer 1

Oh no!  I'd be freaking too...

Who is sending them out?  Can you call the person and ask if they can be reworded??  You are going to HAVE to let them know you know....

Answer 2

Oh man, that stinks! I am so sorry. Maybe mention something on your thank you notes about how you were SO surprised, and that you had no idea.

Answer 3

Don't mail out the invites...Call the hostess and tell her how you feel about the invites and if money is the issue...have it at someones house with finger foods...anything but a place where guests has to foot the bill...never know, the hostess probably didnt know correct etiquette and thought it was fine to ask what she asked.

Answer 4

Wow! Who's throwing the shower?

Don't send the invites. Have everything reworded and sent out properly. The last thing you want is guests not showing up to the wedding and being upset with you (even though you had nothing to do with it). Your inlaws would probably be upset with the outcome as well.

All the best.

Answer 5

Do not send out the invites.  Tell whoever it is that you heard about it and you would rather not have a shower than to have one where guests are asked to pay.  It is a reflection of you.  Stop it ASAP.

Answer 6

I would talk to the host carefully, and explain your feelings.  Probably the host didn't have the money to pay for it all themselves and didn't know better.  Explain that you don't care where its at or how much she spends, whats important to you is the people who are with you.

Answer 7

Call whoever is hosting the shower, or whoever is sending out the invites (if not the host) and tell them that they can't send out invites like that. It is so tacky to expect the guests of the shower to pay for the restaurant.

I don't understand why people offer to host showers if they can't afford it!

Answer 8

Call the "host" and tell them (politely) that you heard about the plans, and that you would consider it tacky and rude.  Throw out some suggestions, like having the shower at someone's house and only serving light refreshments instead of a full meal to cut down on costs.

Absolutely do not accept making your guests pay for their food at the shower as an option.

Answer 9

Call the one responsible for the invitations and tell them not to mail them out.    

.

Answer 10

If your name is not on the invite I would let it go and act like you had NOTHING to do with the shower and were TOTALLY surprised so people don't pin it on you lol.

Your other option is to have a conflict that day so they have to change it.

Or, you could tell the host you heard from an anonymous source about it and don't want it done.

I would be appalled as well, how incredibly tacky!!!

Good luck!!!

Answer 11

Call the hostess ASAP and tell them that you do not agree with the terms of the invites and that you do not wish for people to be asked to pay for their meal. Quote an etiquette book if needed and suggest and alternative site

Good luck

Answer 12

Whomever has the invites go to her

and physically take them away,

tell her you would rather not have

a shower if you have to beg!!

DO IT

Answer 13

Call the hostess and tell her she can't embarrass you like that and to either cancel the shower or change the plans or do something else where the guests aren't being asked to pay up.

Answer 14

Holy Moly!  Don't let them get mailed. Come up with SOMETHING to tell the person...make it up if you have to, but let her know this is not something you want to be associated with. While it is true what someone else said, it's not like you had anything to do with the invitations..BUT...people will be mentioning YOUR name (not your maid of honor or whoever made the invites) when they talk about it: "Can you believe that Mary's shower invitation said we had to pay for our own meal AND bring a gift?!!.  You are correct you DO need to stop this!  I would be mortified as you are.