OMG! My dad is cheating on my mom!!! What do I do?!?!?

Question

i am 15 my parents have been married for 17 years! My dad has been going out a lot a lot, and him and my mom just don't seem the same around each other any more...one night i went to use the phone and my dad was on it with some lady! so I got kinda nosy. They kept talking about how much they loved each other and how they couldn't wait to see each other again!!! i don't know what to do! should i tell my mom? should i tell my dad i know? idk????

Answer 1

I told my mom when my dad was cheating, they got divorced. So just know that is probably going to happen.  

Answer 2

I think you should speak to your dad, ask him what's going on and demand the truth, He shouldn't be doing this to your mom, She doesn't deserve it no matter how bitchy your mom may get. If he doesn't speak with your mom then you tell her, tell her everything you know, help her. She needs you at a time like this.. I'm sorry for what's going on.

Answer 3

First, talk to your dad. Then, talk to your mom. Then, stay with your mom because maybe she will be sad. Then, talk and talk and talk to them both. If you can.

Sorry it - I'm flurried you and your parents and I hope it will be ok again.

Answer 4

confront your dad about it!!

and see what he says

say "do u wana tell mom or do u want me to tell her?"

and just kinda see what happens

but your mom needs to know it will hurt her but she needs to know too

Answer 5

Don't tell your mom yet. Let your Dad know that your aware of what he's doing. Best of luck. I mean it.

Answer 6

Keep your mouth shut to your Mom and tell your Dad that you over heard him on the phone. Suggest strongly that he either  p**p or get off the potty, cause it's definately gona hit the fan if he continues. This is between them, your Mom and Dad, so don't interfear other than to let hin know that you know. You tell your Mom and you're just going to hurt her more. Let them settle it.

Answer 7

lol this happened to me!! i told my mom, my parents stayed together they have been married 33 years. your mom does have the right to know!!

Answer 8

you are in a tough situation, i would try to stay out of it, he will eventually tell your mom, or she will find out..either way, good luck, and i am sorry..

Answer 9

I would tell your dad and tell him he has to tell your mom.  If he doesnt tell your mom that day you should tell her.  

Answer 10

tell your mom and tell your dad you know!

Answer 11

mind your own business

Answer 12

Don't say anything thing to them yet. You should consult your school psychologist or a guidence counselor and tell them the story. Even if you may feel scared to talk to them you should do it anyway because they are highly trained to help you with any possible problem. They can absolutley help you and tell you the right advice. I wouldnt say anything to either parent until you have consulted with a school psychologist or guidence counselor. I wish you sooo much luck and hope everything turns out for you.

Answer 13

This is a difficult situation... you might feel like you're betraying your dad if you tell your mom what you heard.

Do you have any reason to worry about your dad lashing out on your mom or you if he was confronted? Consider that first.

If your dad isn't the abusive type, then it might be wisest to confront him about it, just in case you made a mistake. I mean, of course you heard what you heard... but it would be nice if you gave him a chance, if he would talk to you.

Your mom does need to know, also. The thing is, if your dad is in love with someone else, he would be wisest to tell your mom about it. It's really unhealthy staying in a dead marriage, and he needs to know that.

The thing is, you really have no proof. If you told your mom first, that you knew and she confronted your dad, he could deny it and you have nothing but your word.

These things happen, and I'm sorry it's happening to you... but what you do about it and who you tell what you know depends on the details of your situation.

If anything, don't keep quiet about it.

Good luck!

Answer 14

okay so first things frist heres how the convo with your dear ol dad is gonna go, be like

you>dad i know.

dad> know what?

you> about your "lady friend"

dad> [in complete shock] how

you> it called a phone and you being gone all the time.

If you don't tell mom, I will.

dad> okay we'll see.

If he doesn't tell your mom, then be like mom can we go to the store or something?? and then in the car or on a walk be like mom theres something that dad needs to tell you. and then when she gets back she'll ask him what it is. MAKE SURE YOU ARE PRESENT!!

and if he lies tell him to tell the truth til he does.

and then you've done your work. And your parents will solve it.

you'll worry yeah all kids do but honestly there nothing we can really do about it.  

Answer 15

This is not about you.  You can tell your Dad you know but don't tell your Mom.  This is their business about them and their relationship, you should not meddle in it.  

Answer 16

don't worry about it it'll suck you in

Answer 17

Talk to both at the dinner table at the same time. Even if the outcome will be bad, it will good in the long run. Hiding the fact from either will make it worse for all of you.

Answer 18

First off...don't listen to the people who say "Mind your business". It's your family too and it is your business. Your father promised to love, honour and cherish your mom and he's breaking that promise.

However, I wouldn't tell your mom if I were you. Because she may end up holding that against you.

I'd confront your dad instead. Tell him you heard him on the phone. Give him a chance to tell you his side. Then tell him yours. Either you think he should stop, or you think he should tell your mom.

See where it goes from there...

Answer 19

OK  this  is  a  problem.  1.  you have  to be  sure it is  a  affair.   2.  your  Mom  probable  all ready suspects.   3.  Sometime  adults work these  things  out.   4.  If  you  do  decide to  confront  your  Dad  and ask, your in  for  a  complete  change in your relationship.  5. Sad to  say in these  days relations  spread  unwanted  disease.,  and  your  Mom  needs  to  be check to be  sure  she has  not  been exposed. Good point to tell your  Dad. I vote  she  be  told  after you tell your  Dad  first.  Be  prepared  he  will protest  but  we  reap  what  we  sew as they  say.   6.  If  it  leads to  a  separation  your  Mom  needs  your  help and  support.  There  are  women  support  counseling for these  situations. But  you  still need  a  Dad.  

Answer 20

I think you should talk with your dad about it and tell him to stop being an idiot and to stop sneaking around your mother. He needs to end the marriage if he is in love with another woman. If he says he wont then thats when you tell your mother your father deserves it...

Answer 21

Talk to your dad first, and ask him why he isn't getting along with your mom. Then if he is serious about divorce, talk to your mom about it, and have a family discussion. It could be time for a divorce, but hopefully can be prevented. Hope this helps!

Answer 22

Tell your mom what is going on. Set your dad up, follow him, cause you will need some proof.

The same thing happened to me and i told my dad,but only after my mom told my dad she wasn't happy anymore.

Answer 23

i am so sorry. do not let your dad know that you heard him talk to that lady and tell your mom immediately! your mom needs to know.

best of luck!

-tudyfruity

Answer 24

talk to your dad first,if he isnt willing to change for his family,or atleast decide where he wants to be then tell your mother,she would be hurt knowing you knew somthing and didnt tell her,she will feel hurt and betrayed by both husband and child!x

Answer 25

sit the both of them down and tell that you know something about one of them and see if he cracks and confess

Answer 26

i think you should tell you're dad you know what hes doing and tell him you need to be responsible and tell your mom but he needs to cut the other lady off

I'm so sorry for your situation nobody should have to go through that

Answer 27

confront your dad, tell him that you know everything and that he should stop before you tell your mom

good luck!

Answer 28

I say go to your dad first and tell him what you heard. I would get the whole story first.  Maybe they have an open relationship they are hiding from you.

Answer 29

tell your dad you know before it leads to a divorce!

Answer 30

I was sort of in the same situation so I know what you're talking about.

let's see the pros & cons for telling you mom:

if you told her:

it's possible that they'll divorce (if not sooner), and the court may ask for you to testify to prove that your dad started this.  This means that the court will award your mother probably a bit more ....

if you don't tell her about this:

She may find out eventually, but it's not your business since you never knew about this... after all, she's the one closer to your dad that you...theoretically...

You will always have this "guilt" that maybe you should have told your mom.....

If I were you, I would talk to your dad first.  Let him know that you know his affair.   AND demand him to go clean with your mother, or else you'll be the one telling your mom.   You just want to give your dad the chance to tell your mom himself.  

If he refuses, then it's up to you to tell your mother.  It's not fair to your mother if you don't tell her.  Then it's up to her to decide what she wants with this marriage, but the burden will be off you.

good luck

Answer 31

It's not right for you to have to keep it to yourself.  I would tell my mom if I were you.  It may hurt your dad at first, but think about what would happen if you didn't tell your mom and they stayed married and he was seeing other women.  As their kid, it must have been hard for you to hear that.  Hope everything works out!