Obsessed with a girl from the distant past, how should I handle it?

Question

Hi, (I apologize for the "novel")

I think I'm going out of my mind.

I feel like I am obsessed with a girl that rejected me 13 years ago.

I've always thought of her but lately its been very intensive.

She was a good friend's girl. He was mistreating her (hitting her and stuff).

I tried to console her but unfortunately I had a bad crush on her as well. I was pretty much in love with her. I let her know how I felt and told her I would Never mistreat her; she shot me down. She went back to the guy that mistreated her. I never spoke to her again after I vented out my feelings....

Now 13 years later

I have managed to find her email address and talk with people who talk to her on occasion. She never got married (she broke up with that a*****e guy a couple of months after I vented) and she lives 1000 miles away.

My heart wants to establish contact and hopes for another shot

But my Pride and my gut say to keep my mouth shut and to forget about her.

Its hard to forget. I know this is NOT healthy.

What should I do?

Thank you deeply for reading my post

Answer 1

You shouldn't keep it in. You'll be hurting yourself even more! How did you feel when you vented out your feelings? Did you regret it afterwards? I guess it kind-of also depends on your personality.I think you should e-mail her again, and start talking with her, but not in a way that makes her feel uncomfortable on how you've had feelings for her for so long-(which is nothing wrong), but some people take it the wrong way for some reason. You know,take it slowly. But since you went to her and vented your feelings out,and told her you wouldn't mistreat her, when she was in a hard-time when she was with that other guy, she might be thankfull,that you made her realise this.. i'm not sure if i'm explaining too clearly..

but if you're not sure of yourself, you might want to find someone in the same area as you are, but you never know, if you never try....

so i think you should e-mail her.

Good-Luck,hope this helps..

Answer 2

You shouldn't give up that easily, instead go find her and talk about how you still feel and show that you really mean what you say. If not you'll regret it for the rest of your life and you will keep asking yourself Why didn't i just do it? I'm confident that she'll give you another chance since she had wised up not to be a with the abusive type of guys which I don't think you are or ever will be.

Answer 3

Go for it!!!!  If not, you might really regret not trying.  Good luck!  =)

Answer 4

A lost love is something we Never forget. Since you don't have a relationship with her now you should Definetly Contact her! Maybe she's been thinking about you too. Who knows, It's worth a shot.

I think sometimes we get stuck on past loves because we always think what could have been/ would have been/ how much have they changed. And who knows maybe you found her email for a reason...

go email her*

Answer 5

If you can't get her out of your mind then you should just tell her that you're really interested in her.  If she says no again then at least you know you tried, it didn't work and you can move on.  Wondering can be worse than rejection sometimes.  Good luck.  I hope she says yes.