Oh c**p............?

Question

My husband just phones his parents to talk to them about his mum going against my wishes with our daughter on Monday. As expected his mum started saying 'fine' she was 'useless' and 'rubbish' and 'obviously untrustworthy' and got all upset. His dad then snatched the phone and had a massive go at hubby as he 'won't have my wife upset'.

They said that what they did (not a massive deal, not a small deal, not important what it was...it's the point of her undermining(?) me) was completely unintentional. It wasn't, we (me and my mil) have had 3 conversations, one heated as she doesn't agree with my parenting, about it and she knows, absolutely, how I feel.

I don't want her to be upset and hurt and I don't want my fil to be angry but I have decided, after 9 yrs to start standing up for myself.

Guiltguiltguiltguilt

What would you do now?

Answer 1

Stand your ground and don't break no matter how hard it is. In order for things to change for you, you have to continue standing up for yourself. Think of it as a child who is crying it out, it's great if you let them cry for 20 min's, but if you go in there to comfort it just defeats the purpose. Same thing with your IL's, if you go in and try to defuse the situation, you will be right back to square one. Your husband did a great thing finally and it was long overdue for you. But, yelling is pointless, stay calm, mature and firm. It will get better one day.

i saw your question and had to answer cause I know how rough of a time you have been having. Good Luck and stand your ground!!

Answer 2

No better time than the present. If you don't stand up for yourself and the things you believe to be right then no one else is gonna. This is a hard thing to do but it will get easier as time goes on. As soon as they figure out that they can't manipulate you anymore by making you feel crappy they will back down. Good luck and good job. I am proud of you

Answer 3

sorry hon.

i know people who have that problem.

but this is your child and you have the right to raise it how u want. nobody else should tell u how. not even ur parents.

unfortunatly, ur just gonna have to let her feelings be hurt.

if she dosn't stop, then talk to ur husband. suggest that u break off all ties with her until she realizes that she can't raise ur child.

eventually, she will compromise. she will miss her son to much.

it might sound a little harsh, but it is effective.

i wish u the best of luck.