Ok, I am getting no help and I really need it!!!?

Question

Please read my last question, let me state the facts right here and after you read it, you will understand......

1. I am 22 years old

2. My hubby has PTSD which means he has the possibility of hurting someone in the middle of the night

3. CPS means Child Protective Service and yes that is also Social Services, same thing

4. I'm not talking to the mom, she scares me! I'm on the shy side also.

5. He will not talk to me, I have tried now for over 6 months, nada!

I need a realistic answer to my problem, I need someone to read the entire long thing and answer me realistically pertaining to me! I'm not a bad person, I am trying my best here and really just need a little advice.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ale6JdQUsEZvPMFVek13AnXsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080728080520AANvCBY

Answer 1

Even though CPS is already "on the case" call them.  They may not have the same information you have.  Also if you can learn who his case worker is, maybe you could ask for advice from them.  You could also ask that your communications be confidential and are not to be shared with the boy's mother.

I think you are doing a good thing by giving the boy a place to stay.  Keep that up.  Ask him why he needs/wants the money.  Maybe what he actually needs is something you can provide.  Also feel free to explain why you cannot give hime any money.  It seems like he will understand.

Answer 2

What a horrible situation for you and the little man.  I'm guessing that the main reason he comes to you is for friendly company and an escape from his life like you said.  I think the money thing is a secondry thing.....he gets to be busy for a bit, to think about something else and get a bit of cash in return.  I would be honest with him and explain that you can't pay him for doing jobs more than once every 2 wks.  Let him know if he wants stuff to do that that's fine but you can only give him a drink and a snack as pay.

I really feel for you in this situation and I wanted to respond with my immediate thoughts so you didn't feel like everyone was ignoring you....let me have more of a think and i'll come back to you sweet.....I may not have any ideas but I'll do my best.

Right:  I've had a think.  I think that what you've done by offering him somewhere to come to go to hang out be safe is just lovely and something that not many people would do.  

That being said you can't stress yourself and your family out.  I know that we're talking about an abused child and I would feel just the way you are but you are very limited with what you can do for this young boy but you arn't limited with what you can do for your family.

I think the best thing you can do is call the CPS and talk to them about what is happening.  I know that they are already involved but they may not have the whole picture and what you can tell them may be all they need to be able to help this young man and get him out of his present abusive situation.

When I say talk to them.....really let them know everything, the times he's locked out at night and why, the black eyes, the saddness, everything.  They need all the info to help him properly.

I would advise going to them and not to his mum.  She doesn't sound like a very nice person and if she's capable of abusing a 10 yr old you shouldn't mess with her.  Even if you ignore the safety of you and your family she may hurt him even more.

Right, in the meantime, if you feel able to continue giving him somewhere to go then go for it.  As I've said, I think it is a fantasic thing to do for anyone.

What you can do is go online and have a look for some support places for you and him.  In the UK we have a phone line called Childline who the lad can call and talk to someone 24 hrs a day.  They can give some practical advice on what he can do and places he can go for help.  I don't know if they have an equivalent where you are.  Have a look and see what you can find.  Also, you can talk to the CPS and they can offer you advice on what you can do and the support you can offer him and also what you can do for yourself.

I know it must be a really hard time but I think the above is what I would do.  I'm not saying it's going to be easy but if you can do it then you may be able to help turn his life around.

I think that the fact that you care so much about this boy is just lovely and restores my faith in mankind.  Thank God for people like you.

Take care of yourself and I hope that all works out well for the boy and for you too.  I'll be thinking of you and him lots.

Bugsy x*x

Answer 3

At this point I believe the kid needs someone to just hang out w/him. Even if it is for an hour a day, that is an hour that the kid feels safe. I believe that it is not the money he is after. I think it is your company that he wants. I would be honest w/him and tell him you don't have the money to pay him everyday. Ask him if you could give him some treats instead or if you can pay him once a month. He doesn't sound selfish at all.

I would make anonymous tips to CPS continuously until  they do something. Tell them what your observing. I realize this is difficult because the "foster system" isn't much better in some cases. At least then he may have a fighting chance. I read your question and felt like crying. Definitely, you are in no position to adopt the kid, however, I do believe you can be this kids savior. Good Luck!!!!

Answer 4

I wish I could help, sorry. I have no idea, but I'll keep you in my prayers!

Sorry!

Answer 5

Well you can't not do anything about it - I would be so upset if I were you too.

I suggest calling CPS and reporting your findings... I know it's tough but what Kind of mother does that to their child.  

Imagine if something serious happened to him and you didn't do something - you would feel awful and never forgive yourself.

The best thing for you to do it be his friend and report it.