Ok, I have a dilemma with our rehearsal dinner...?

Question

Our wedding is two days after Thanksgiving. Would it be tacky to have a relative host on that Thanksgiving and have everyone bring a dish? I think it would be nice to have both the families there to share in our first Holiday together, but is it too much to ask?

Answer 1

yes... a bit tacky... asking people to bring a dish to a rehersal dinner is wrong.. Part of the reason of having the rehersal, other than rehersing, is to 'thank' the bridal party for being a part of your day, and for all their help.. Asking them to bring the stuffing is no way to say thanks.. also, will you be able to 'reherse' at the ceremony site on thanksgiving? My friend got married 2 days after Thanksgiving and she skipped the reherdsal just because of this reason.. Luckily, we have all been in enough weddings that it was fine... maybe do the rehersal the night before thanksgiving and make it a cocktail party instead of a big dinner?

If you thionk everyone would come to your Thanksgiving dinner, cool, but you should take care of the food, not them.

Asking them to bring a covered dish would be like asking for their portion of the bill if you had it at a restaurant.

Good luck.

Answer 2

watch freaky friday

Answer 3

....chaaaa, some families are soo uptight, and strict, about their 'comfort zones'

....pretentious family members may become snooty, unless they are'treated' in an 'upscale' environment

...many modern families lack initiative to dress down and put on an apron when it comes to wedding get togethers

....soooo, you know their style, maybe they are approachable and you can 'poll them' in a creative manner (before the invitiations are sent out.....send a unique, pretty, hand made note to close memebers, parents, siblings, and perhaps grands and aunts/uncles, etc, and introduce yourself, as it were, like an industrious leader would do in any situation, and pose the options like a poll, (include a return envelope)

....they might even humor you by returning your poll

...if they do or donot, then you will know

Answer 4

I think a potluck is a nice idea.  Make sure though that you and your partner provide drinks and plenty of snacks yourselves.

Answer 5

I think it is a wonderful idea.  The families can get to know each other before your big day.

BUT.............it is putting ALOT of pressure on your family or the host's family to accomodate everyone.  

And I think it is a little tacky to ask everyone to bring a "dish to pass" ~ the rehearsal dinner or grooms dinner is typically paid for by the Groom's parents.  

But................you could provide most of the big stuff...... like the turkey, stuffing, potatoes, and gravy and ask guests to bring: rolls, relishes, salad, or desert.  Actually you should ask specific people to bring specific items (if you go that route).  People usually don't mind bringing 1 thing to a huge gettogether like Thanksgiving.  It is minimal considering the feast that the host will be preparing for everyone.

Think about how many and the logistics of seating everyone.  It is a stressful event to say the least.  Lots of people on a holiday at one house for the first time.

Think about it seriously and completely before you go ahead.

Answer 6

No, do not do this.  First and foremost, the rehearsal dinner is meant to be a thank you for everyone showing up to the actual rehearsal and for participating in your wedding.  Your bridal party will not want to spend Thanksgiving with your familes, and your families may not want to spend the holiday together.

Second, you should not make your family and friends cook for your rehearsal dinner, it is a thank you for them-asking them to bring food is really rude.

Answer 7

i think its a great idea, much more fun than your typical boring rehersal dinner!

also a great conversation starter between the two families!

(not the idea, lol the dishes that everyone brang)

congratulations!

Answer 8

rehearsal dinners also include your bridal party, are they going to want to not be with here families for this meal?

Answer 9

Only you and your fiancee know your own families.

My family would have jumped at the chance to do a potluck, and would appreciate it for exactly the reasons you mention.  But that's us.  And they were thrilled that I was getting married at all, so were eager to be supportive.

Answer 10

duckie has the most accurate answer.  thanksgiving is traditionally a family time, not a wedding weekend.  

we have to go to a family wedding two days after new years and the whole family has to travel out of state on a holiday weekend.  i cant tell you how much headache this has caused.  could it be possible that having  your wedding thanksgiving weekend is already causing people to have to do and plan things that they are doing just because of your wedding?  have your rehearsal dinner the day after thanksgiving and do it up right, host the whole thing, to thank people for giving up their holiday weekend for your wedding, if for nothing else.

Answer 11

you could have it the night b4 thkgiving, cause lord knows ur gonna be tired from all the day after shopping.

Answer 12

No not tacky at all.  In fact, there was just a letter to Dear Abby in the newspaper sometime early last week about weddings and they were talking about the same thing.  There was one writer who wrote in:  

"Actually, in Mexico, it is tradition for the families to all bring a dish"  and this other little couple had written in that they wanted to have only close friends and family to bring like a favorite dish or something.  

I think of it this way.  It's your day.  I think it's very sweet to want to have as "blessings from a relative host"  on your wedding day and to have everyone bring a "favorite dish"  to share in the day's celebration.  I don't see anything wrong with it at all.  BECAUSE,  my dear,  it's your's and your fiance's wedding day.  However YOU two want to celebrate is up to you and they should be thrilled to be included in such a way.  I'd be flattered.  Besides they'll know that you want to have a closer celebration rather than an  impressive one.  

God bless and best wishes!

Answer 13

its a bit much since its two days after but if its family im sure they will be willing!

Answer 14

As long as everyone agrees, then it should be okay. Like you said everyone is family!! Best Wishes!