Ok, I have a problem. My friend of 10 years has a daughter who is 21. They are divorced.?

Question

She lived with him soime of the time, and then she lived with mom. She played one against the other on and on. She went away to college in North Carolina which is about 3 hours from her house, but she does not drive. She does not even work since she gets in arguements with all of the supervisors. She is a good student, but stomps her feet a lot saying "I NEED MONEY. You are not a good Dad, you never give me money to get a cell phone, or anything" He told her "Well, you could work" and she says "NO I can't. nobody gets along with me"

The school even has her on mandatory counseling.

Here is my problem. I have been telling him for 10 years that he is spoiling her, and in the long run it will not help her. He always tells me his problems with her, and when I try to give advice he yells "Don't put down my daughter. I would do anything for her"

Put her down? Meaning tell her to get a job or get counseling or stop having such mighty demands of money.

I do not want to hear it anymore. I can't even be around him cause she always comes up in talk. How do I handle this and keep a friend. Or, is it too late?

Answer 1

I agree with the other person's comment.

Answer 2

Next time your with him, and he brings up his daughter, tell him, as nicely as possible, that you think he is a good father and you don't think you should be involved in his relationship with his daughter.  Hopefully, he'll stop there.  If he persists, then you can just tell him the truth; that every time she comes up, you two end up in an argument, and you don't want to loose his friendship, so you don't want to discuss her.