Ok, im starting to hurt things and other people, I need serious help.

Question

I used to take Lithium for my bipolar disorder type 1. That obviously didn't work. This was in 2005 and then I lost insurance and right now im waiting on getting this job in October that will cover mental health.

Anyway, I have had a few manic episodes over the course of my bipolar(I learned of it in 2004).

Well, I just fell into a manic stage again, but this could quit possibly the worst one yet. Its totally different from before. All I can concentrate on is anger, money and s*x. VERY INTENSE urges, so bad that I am afraid to leave my room now...

Yesterday out of nowhere i started getting angry at EVERYTHING, small things like my mom not telling me where she put the key and stuff. So around 6 PM yesterday, I got in an argument with my parents, for whatever reason. This INFURIATED ME, even though it wasn't that big of deal. I took a long walk, and I really could not feel reality. I was just walking forward and the whole world had sorta drowned into my brain and I felt really out of it, my mind was really cloudy.

So I decided to go hang out with some friends. Night started out great, and it turned horrible. Even my friends were pissing me off, and you know it was regular things that usually make me laugh and stuff. So i basically flipped on them, but them being friends, they didn't take it that personally, and tried to calm me down.

So me and 4 friends were walking by, and some guy was staring at me, I FLIPPED, I seriously lost control, and didn't feel as though I was the one doing everything. I went up to him and said "what the ***** you looking at" and he started saying like "**** what the ***** YOU looking at"

BAM, i punched him in his face so hard he fell, and then i got on top of him and kept punching him. It took the guys friend and all 4 of my friends to yank me off him. After that I zoned out for a good 2 hours, I didn't know what was going on around me, I just sat in the car. Before I knew it, I was in front of my house and they told me to go to sleep.

Well, when I got home, I immediately went crazy and flipped the dinner the table over. I didn't realize what i did till 5 minutes later. I went to my room, and I started zoning out again, so I quickly walked down the street and copped some weed.

Now, last time i smoked weed was in 2006, so i don't do it anymore, but I felt like I had to, and I smoked, and BOY it did wonders, omg it was soo awesome. All the anger, hate, everything just faded away and i was having good thoughts and just chilling with the AC on.

My problem is, I can't smoke weed anymore because my lungs are weak and plus my job has a drug test every 2-4 weeks.

How do i achieve this calm state when things get too crazy without weed. Right now I feel really guilty I flipped the table, flipped out on all my friends and family, and beat a poor kid who was just standing.....

Also money and women are a BIG problem. I can't stop being horny, I am very hypersexual. I have s*x, and i don't even really enjoy, but I just keep doing it. Thing is, its between 2 girls, neither know of the other, but i just can't stop having s*x with them and im slipping on being with both of them.

The other thing before yesterday was i can't stop spending money. I buy the most useless things. Everywhere I go, there is that one thing that I gotta get, and I get it. I just blew 4 weeks salary on a LCD TV. MAD USELESS, my room doesn't even have room for a 52 inch, but i was at sears, my friend was working there, and 300 looked AWESOME.

Can I calm my mania without meds right now till I wait for that new job in october (dont worry, its guaranteed, just waiting for october to come) and get help then?

Or is this perhaps more serious then i think?

Answer 1

There is most likely a chemical imbalance involved.  The neurotransmitters in your brain, from the activity you describe, are flooding your brain and emotional rationale is undetectable because of the "drowning out" of the frontal lobe's ability to think clearly and reasonably.  But your memory seems very clear in recalling most of the activity you were involved in.  The description you give of being in a semi-constant state of sexual arousal and having poor inhibition tendencies with money signifies risk taking behavior.  Within most communities, there is a behavioral and mental health clinic which offers services to low income folks and people without jobs or insurance, especially if there is a definite track record of behavioral problems and mental health disorder history.  Investigate the availability of this type of service.  But it is also very important that you be evaluated for medication by a psychiatrist or medical doctor to begin stabilization of the neurotransmitter uptake and release, namely norepinephrine and serotonin.  Get the chemicals under control, get the behavior under contol, or you will not likely be holding a new job for very long.  Best wishes.

Answer 2

GREEN TEA --- it helped me..I had the same thing a few years ago, and I started taking green tea extract, which you can buy in your local grocery store in the vitamin section. I don't know what it does, but it definitely helped balance me out.

Answer 3

the short answer is....you are a dipstick

Answer 4

apologize to everyone you feel guilty for hurting. and just when you get all those mad thoughts get AWAY from everyone and sit down and breathe and stare at the sky and feel your body detatch itself.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

i read that WHOLE NOVEL

help me :] thanks lol

Answer 5

I'm an expert on this, I would suggest you take a tour here,there are expert's tips there.http://health-insurance.tips4free.info/h...

Answer 6

Try the lithium again.  Same brand, higher dose.  There are web sites where you can access free meds.  Go to google and see what you think.  Just type in free bipolar meds.  Call your previous Dr. before you wind up in jail like my granddaughter.

I am so serious when I say you have to take care of yourself and accept what is happening and be strong enough to deal with it.

You can check yourself in to a treatment center and deal with the insurance business later.  Many of them have financial counselors who will help you with the money matters.

Hope some of this helps.

God Bless .... say prayers  

Answer 7

You are concentrating on the symptoms, not the problem.  You have a bigger problem than you want to admit.  You can get disproportionately angry at benign things (parents' interactions; friends' interactions) but when you flip out over a guy "staring at you" you've gone way beyond the bounds of reason.  With the anger that you described earlier in the evening (parents and friends) when you saw this "staring guy" I would just venture to guess that he was just returning YOUR stare because you were a ticking bomb ready to go off.  Just keep going on the course that you are and you won't need to decide what to do..... the court will decide for you.  Then when you are in a jail cell, you'll need to control who you stare at or you might get pounded to death.  The thing I've noticed about guys like you is that although they say that they can't control their anger - that they "just happen" to lose control on smaller guys - not larger, meaner guys.  They change in prison, though.  You'd better get help, no matter what the expense is in money or pride,  before you learn the hard way that there are ALWAYS bigger, "badder" dudes than you and then your macho stories will take on a different slant. Your family and friends may cut you slack but a judge won't.

Answer 8

I would check on line for pharmaceutical companies that have programs to help people gets medicine for free.  Try to get in with a mental health facility that charges by your income to get counseling to help you through these episodes.

Answer 9

How could it get any more serious?

Most communities have a Mental Health Service that uses a sliding fee, dependent upon income.  

Lithium sometimes doesn't work for bi-polar disorder, but there are many others available.  Walmart has its $4.00 generic Rx plan, and there are many selections for anxiety and depression.  If you can afford to see your family doc, take along the Walmart formulary (available at the pharmacy, or on-line) and ask him/her what would help you keep things under control untl your coverage starts.

Hang in there...things are going to get better!

Answer 10

YOUR IN A FULL BLOWN MANIA!!! You need to talk to your psychiatrist, or someone about having medication RIGHT NOW and you can't wait!!! This is serious!!You really need to make your parents understand that you need your medication (as much as a diabedict needs it's insulin!!)...Tell them/make them understand,  how not having your medication is affecting you and how dangerous it is (for you and others!!)  

People think that manias are all about being super hyper/ super happy...but that's a bad presumption!! Manias can be about being very irritable/ very enraged/ very suicidal!!! You will not be alble to control it yourself!! (I know, I've been there/done that...) And the fact that everything is getting you upset is a sign that you are not in control of your moods. I know it's frustrating to hear and know that you are not in control but that's what the ilness is....it's not a weakness in you anymore than people that suffer from high blood pressure/diabetes/heart diseases/etc...

I too was smoking weed, on a daily baisis, to control my stress levels but it came a point that I needed more and more!!!  After a while, the weed made me even more paranoid and anxious!!! Si I do not exactly suggest that as a "band-aid"...

Call a crissis line and see if they have any support for poeple in your situation...(in between insurance..) Because it is primordial that you DO NOT STOP YOUR MEDICATION!!

Good luck, hang on;)

Answer 11

you could try meditation m8 this can calm you down, you express your self very well ,but you need to find some help.perhaps asking your parents to assist you in getting help. Just sit and breath  ,relax and concentrate on the fact that you are helping yourslef and those around you by meditating.Be thankful for life and please try no to hurt more people.Pot definately isnt the answer ,i smoked it for twenty years and it just made thing s worse in the end. best of luck.