Ok, laugh out loud time, anyone have some sweet jokes? ?

Question

I will make one up right now.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because Chuck Norris told it to.

Answer 1

lol

Answer 2

A guy with a speech problem applies for a sales job..the sales manager tells him that pretty much speech is a huge part of sales, but in order to be fair he would let him try it for a week and see how it worked out.

After a week the sales manager walks out with the sales sheet in amazement...the guy had out sold his other 5 salesmen combined and then some, so he asks him how he did it.

The guy explains "welp, I shold the man a pishing pole, I asked did he hab a pishing tackle box..he dint so I shold him one, I asked did he hab a pishing hat... he dint so I shold him one, I shold him a Pishing boat, pishing boat motor, pishing vest, pishing lures...

The sales manager interrupts "wait a minute, wait a minute...one guy came in to buy a fishing pole, and you sold him 45,000 dollars worth of stuff???"

The guy answers " nope, he comed in to buy a box of tampons..I telled him since his weekend gonna be all pucked up anyway..might as well buy a pishing pole"

Answer 3

Why cant you play uno with a mexican??

because they steal all of the green cards!!

no i am not racist i think it was just funny..please dont take it serious.

Answer 4

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife  to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,'Please wake me at 5:00 AM .'  He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.   The paper said, 'It s 5:00 AM.  Wake up.'

Answer 5

A Penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down.They tow it to a shop and the mechanic goes to work.The penguin gets bored so he takes a walk.While walking he sees a grocery store.He goes in and spots the freezer.He climbs in and is in heaven.He spots some vanilla ice cream and proceeds to eat it all making a big mess and getting it all over him.He decides to walk back to the garage and see how the car repair is going.When he walks in the mechanic says to him...it looks like you blew a seal.The penguin says noooooo it's just vanilla ice cream.