Ok, look it... I had a fiancee. Proposed on a Friday.?

Question

Within the next week she spent the night at her ex-husbands house. She didn't tell me. Her MOTHER called me SURPRISED that she and I were still talking. I didn't understand what she meant and THAT'S when her mother told me she was trying to work things out with her ex. When I confronted her she SWORE that she was about to tell me and that absolutely NOTHING happened and it never would! I am having a really hard time believing her. She wants to work out things, I still love her but I don't think I can trust her. How can I STAY gone. Anyone in a committed relationship knows how hard it is to just walk away and stay gone. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Your ex-fiancee admits to spending the night at her ex's house and she didn't tell you.  This jives with her mother telling you she's trying to work things out with the ex.  If she had a rare legitimate reason to be there:  such as her car broke down a block from his house, she should have immediately CALLED you to let you know where she was to see if you could pick her up.  

You ABSOLUTELY cannot trust her!!!  This is why you need to STAY gone.  It doesn't matter that you love her.  And it doesn't matter whether anything sexual happened at the ex's house or not.  She spent the night there and didn't tell you (huge violation of trust).  Equally important, her mother, whom you have no reason to disbelieve tells you your ex is trying to work things out with her ex.  Your ex is not that into you nor trustworthy enough for you to even consider marrying.  Your best course of action is to discontinue all contact with her, grieve privately, and MOVE ON!!!

P.S.  My fiance's ex girlfriend whom he loved greatly and was about to propose to cheated on him and lied about it 3 times.  He instantly left the relationship and never regretted it.  And he found someone better.  :-)

Answer 2

if you are having a hard time beieving her, then you should follow that instinct. spending the night at her ex husbands house is NOT an innocent thing. she obviously has no respect for you to go do something like that.

you need to break if off with her and try to meet someone else. they always say the best way to get over an ex is to meet someone new. not that you should jump in to a big committed relationship right away or anything like that, but start going out and meeting new peop;le to keep your mind off of her.

Answer 3

I think she panicked after your proposal and ran back to where she was before.

She is not ready to accept your marriage proposal so I would think twice whether you want this girl in your life.

If she cant make any decision without consulting her ex what chance have you got as a couple ?

It is hard to walk away but its easier to stay away once you have left.

I think you love her but love can be blind and its no good loving someone and not having the same amount back, its all about commitment and your girl does not seem ready for it.

You can go back to being "friends" and be satisfied she is in your life but my guess is that because you asked her to marry you then you are more in love than she is.

Do you want second best or do you want what you and everyone else on this planet is entitled to and thats true love.

Put your feelings aside on this one and try to see things logically even if it means being apart for a while.

Good luck and I feel for you.

Answer 4

Put one foot in front of the other and walk away.  Don't look back.  She is messed up, no where near getting into another relationship, and she doesn't deserve you.  You don't deserve to be treated that way by someone you love.  I know you hurt, but it won't stop until you walk away, recover, and try to move forward with your life and find someone worthy of you love.  Someone who isn't so confused about what she wants or who she is.  Someone who has similar goals and ambitions in life and enjoys some of the same things you do.  You will find her.  Please find the courage and the strength to do this for yourself!!

Answer 5

dude. She has some issues to work out herself. It doesnt sound like she is ready to be married

Answer 6

you stay gone because you don't trust her, like they say relationships are built on trust and respect.  she did not respect you and now you do not trust her.  If things are not settled with her ex then its not something you want to deal with, because someone is bound to get very hurt and with her choices right now, its looking at you!

Consider that you sticking it out with her, you may be missing the person you really belong with, someone that loves you so much they would not make you worry like this.

Answer 7

When you feel yourself wanting to call remind yourself that she spent the night at her ex husbands house and she would never have told you unless her mother hadn't have spilled the beans.  Who knows what else she has been up to that she hasn't told you about.  Give yourself some time to think about what happened and decide if you can or want to try and make it work.  I think you have a very valid reason not to trust her and without trust what kind of relationship would you have?

Answer 8

You just answered your own question;

"Anyone in a committed relationship knows how hard it is to just walk away and stay gone".

This is her ex-husband. Do you think she might've been saying Good-bye Forever to that relationship?