Ok I don't want to sound mean rude or even ungrateful but why is it that?

Question

my very good guy friend wich is very good to me and helps me out with food and shelter andmoral support not to mention he is very handsome well manered and extremely patient with me, doesn't tell me straight out what is bothering him about me or something that I am doing untill all these feelings about me and my behaviour build up and then he explodes? I've told him repeatedly over and over in numerous occations" If u don;t want me to use your computer too much or after a certain hour or you just want to be alone and have some privacy let me know I'll understand! really I wont be offended or take it the wrong way I'll understand!" and he still doesnt comunicate with me abut what he feels Im doing is bugging him untill he blows up like a time bomb ! What can I do to avoid this from happening?( he is a great guy by the way, even though our personalities clash here and there but that is normal.)

Answer 1

Give him a time schedule of what times you want to use his comp... and ask him if he's ok with that. That way he knows when you're going to use his computer or 'bother him'

Answer 2

I met someone like that, they did the same thing to me. Even when they blew up, they would just say i make them mad, but then not tell me why, and say that i should just know, and if i don't, then there is something wrong with me! heh. I'm not a mind reader, I was already babysitting and housecleaning for her.. still don't know what more she wanted from me.

And i regret not laying it out for her, saying that I was doing my best to get along, doing everything I could think of to make it all easier on her.. but i don't even know if that would have made a difference.

Try to sit down and have a talk with him, tell him you are afraid to make him upset or sound ungrateful, because you are grateful, you just don't know what is expected / required of you. If he tells you what is required of you, you would be extremely happy to work with him, (within reason, of course!) but you can't be expected to read his mind.

Answer 3

Hey, I think you're extremely fortunate to have somebody take you in..like he did. Maybe, sometimes he feels overwhelmed with responsibility and just doesn't know how to control his temper which is never condolable no matter what the circumstances are..I think what you should do is actually have a rational conv. with him and see what's going on in his head..You neccesarily don't have to be the reason he's trippin' out maybe he just has a lot on his plate right now..i.e: family, work, relationship issues, occurence of a tramatic event, or somethin else. At any rate, don't be to hasty and blame yourself right away..it may be you or it may not but there's only one way to find out right..best of luck..feel free to add me if you wanna chat sometime :)[e-mail] (old e-mail address)..lol..know what you're thinkin ;)

Answer 4

Give him space, it's the least you can do to repay him. And maybe if you do so then he will tell you all you want to know about him

(Hope this helps, sorry if not.)

Answer 5

some people are just like that and there's nothing you can do about it.  maybe he thinks that he shouldn't have to tell you.  maybe to  him, it's just common sense and maybe it irritates him to have to tell you.

next time, if you think he will get mad about something, just don't do it.  

Answer 6

Birdie

I wasn't going to answer this question, but decided to go for it. First of all you didn't mention your situation. The first thing that came to my mind, was......maybe he feels you are not pulling your load., and he has a sense of responsiblity, and feels you don't. One question? Are you working?? Why are you so depended on him? He's probably wondering if you're gonna get off your butt and help yourself. I know this sounds harsh, but I'm telling you the facts. He might not want to hurt your feelings. He's probably feeling invaded, even though he's your friend, he still needs his privacy, and his things are his things. Don't forget,..he's helping you..be grateful for that and don't take advantage of him. Give him respect! I wish you well, and good luck.

Answer 7

He feeds, shelters and clothes you and you arent sleeping with him? hmmm doesnt sound fair....