Ok my situation, is my sister is a single parent, and having problems with the babys dad.?

Question

Her babys dad was apart of my neices life for a few months. Then decided to drop out. My neice is 3 years old now, and is begining to notice her dad isnt around. What are you suppose to say to a 3 year when she asks somthing like that? How is the right way to deal with this issue. Is this going to scar her mentally for the rest of her life. Should we try to find him, or even let him come back into her life as he may walk out again?I have never had this issue neither as a child or a parent, it pains me to think that she has to deal with this and I just want to help in anyway possible. So if anyone has dealt with this I would love to hear your advice on the suitation. Thank You

Answer 1

i think that when the child gets older, more mature enough to understand, that should be the time you tell her.

and don't worry, many have to deal with this and they get through fine, even better than some that are more fortunate.they become stronger than others in some ways.

about the dad, this totally depends on what your sister and you know about his character and dependability. if you think he's bound to walk off again and isn't a good person, than try not to find him; he might be more of a negative influence than positive.

i really hope it helps and don't worry, as long as your sister takes care and everyone helps out, your niece will be great.=)

Answer 2

i went thru this a couple of months ago, he stopped coming for about 4 months, and my daughter started crying one day adn said she wasnt special enough. adn thats why her dad didnt come.

i called his *** from work the next day adn told him off. she started coming around after that. now at times i think he only does cause i insisted and in a way its not even an honest effort to be a father. But then im thinking of her.

She is doing better, she is happy when she sees him, but our parenting skills are way different she gets no discipline there and he tries to buy her by taking her out all the time.

When what she really needs is for him to stop being a deadbeat and give me the child support he was ordered. but what can i do.

if he doesnt want to come around then dont, give her as much love as u guys can-ive noticed my daughter is happy with our lives, because she gets lots of love adn attention, we have great support system- and she knows she is the joy and pride of everybody here...so make ur niece feel loved, adn she will never feel like she missed. also is there a father figure? my stepdad is my daughter's father figure. and i couldnt ask for a better one, he is a great man

Answer 3

It is a terrible situation for anybody to be in. Her mother can simply try to explain that her father loves her but can't see her because he lives somewhere else. Maybe she should contact the father and let him know who his irresponsible act is affecting the child THEY made together. Unless he is abusive or bad in any other way, he should be contacted and given one last chance to know his own blood.

Answer 4

What you try to do, meaning your sister, you and the support family that is around your sister and that little angel, you give her so much love, until she doesn't even miss her father.  Sure it is hard to raise a child, but with family, certain components, aren't even missed.  Your niece can grow up to be a loving, productive, intelligent young lady, and all, without her father.  Love can fill so many gaps, sure there will be questions, and when they are asked, the answers should come from the heart, don't sugar coat her father's absence, because in the long run, she will eventually put everything together and draw her own conclusions, no matter what is put in her head.  Again, you be the best Aunt/Tete you can be, support your sister in the raising of her daughter, and again, the loss will be the father's not your sister's or your niece's, but that absent sperm donor's.  God Bless.

Answer 5

my  brother did this with his first child, cept he was not around after a few months. her mother just said daddy is very busy while she was growing up. she is 12 now and knows who her father is, i even took her over a few months ago to visit with her sister and brother.we didnt stay long,but it  is easier when they get older because they can choose whether or not to see him, it will be her choice, just dont bad mouth him infront of her.tell her the truth, mom and daddy dont get along so they live seperately.then if he wants to see her it is ok, and if he keeps doing it then the child will begin to understand. and make up her own mind.

Answer 6

I ahve a 10 yr old son whoes dad was around for the first year and after that not at all I told him that his daddy loved him and had to go to work far away for along time. When he was almost 4 he told the daycare worker that his dad died, when I asked him why he said that he said that  must be dead cause he never called. To which I said that he loved him just not me. and it caused his dad pain to talk to himKNowing that he couldnt come see him I am now married to someone else and my son calls him dad. He has been told that it is his option to love his bio-dad He has chosen not to have anything to do with him because he feels that he should have tried harder to love him more then he hated me. as long as you always leave the door open to the other parent to make a relationship. your sister can't be the bad guy and dont ever say things like he didnt love us enough to stay cause those are things that are going to scar her