Ok my stepsons mother has a boyfriend who has a 11 year old kid. my 7 year old stepson told me today that the?

Question

11 year old boy has been touching him in his private areas and stuff like that. i instantly flipped out. we have talked with the police and child protected services. They have taken action, but what do i tell my stepson when he says he wants to see his mommy? i am so upset and mad as h**l. i can't believe this. you know you always see this on tv and think it would never happen to your kid then it does. its so devestating i dont know what to do. my husband i are so irrate. we were told we can refuse his mothers rights until they investigate. im just worried about my son.

Answer 1

You are right your son don't need this around him the best thing you can do is chat this over w/ son and let him know the boy is not to do that and neither is he now would be the right time to tell him about s*x a good of time as any if he has to be subjected to him hes 7 try the birds and the bees saying or the way you think he will understand but not every detail just enough he wont be touching in front of people in a few years talking w/ a social worker maybe also the 3 or 4 of you many things you can do you could go to the library and get story books that talk about it or health dept maybe you have to try to see what will work

Answer 2

don`t  worry you did the right thing ,you have to protect your  stepson no matter what ,it`s  his saftey you worry about first,i know sometimes it`s  hard to make them kind of decisions, but I have Learned  over my life-time  that children are helpless  and they need us to keep them safe so pat yourself on the back you did the only thing you could do, may GOD bless and reward you , you are a hero.......

Answer 3

Just tell him that mommy is in trouble and needs a time out right now.

Answer 4

I don't know what to say besides hang in there?

Answer 5

I guess the question is how did the mother react to the allegations?  If it's a boyfriend or a in this case a boyfriends kid, she may not have had any clue it was going on.  If that's the case the child shouldn't be kept from the mother, it will only come back to hurt you and your husband in the end.  If she reacted like it wasn't any big deal than he needs to know what is going on.  He obviously now knows that something wrong has happened so brushing it under the carpet so to speak and not talking to him openly and honestly will not do any good.

Answer 6

She needs to get rid of the other kid when she wants your husbands kid.

Bottome line **** his feelings right now, your son is a victim, and even if the other son is a victim as well, he is the perpetrator in this situation, and that 7 year old should not be forced to be round him no matter what. But I think he should still have a relationship with his mother. Are you open to inviting her to your house every now and then, because he probably needs his mom more now than ever, and coincidently the older son probably does too.

Answer 7

If the mom was not aware of what was happening then she is also a victim to a degree.  Yes the child was in her care and she should have watched closer but I am a mom and wouldn't think of an 11 yo doing such a thing.  If the court has not banned contact with the mother then arrange to meet her at the park or have her come over to your house alone for an hour or so to see the child.  Getting him inot counceling with all of his parents is also a big step toward him recovering from the ordeal.  If mom knew what was going on and did nothing to stop it then she is just as guilty as the 11 yo and doesnt deserve to see the child and in that case just tell him mommy cant come right now but he can write her a letter and distract him with that.

Answer 8

I can't imagine what you and your family must be going through.  And I wish you the best of luck dealing with this.

But, did the mother know about her boyfriend's kid touching him and does he live with her?  How did she react when the police and CPS got involved?  If she didn't know, why would you want to keep your step-son away from his mom?  I understand that you are worried and what to protect him, but he needs his mother too.

Answer 9

if you want to allow your stepson to see his mother, make the stipulation that her boyfriend and his son are not there.