Ok so I have a friend, she is rude to my husband when I am not around! How do I approach her about it?

Question

The other night I was inside and my husband was outside borrowing a tool from her husband, and as he walked by her she was saying to him that he is a pu$$y. And telling him how he is lucky she is not his wife... I don't know, she doesn't talk that way when I am there. But I trust fully what my husband tells me, and I have seen her be rude in that manner to others. I just don't understand, I am and have always been very respectful to my friends husbands, why cant my friends be respectful to mine? How do I approach her, and not loose the friendship?

Answer 1

Confronting her won't work. If she ever says anything to your husband again, he can tell her that he isn't going to be spoken to like that. Then he should leave immediately without borrowing the tool. And then the two of you should avoid them for a long time, until they ask what's wrong. Then tell them that the wife was disrespectful and you aren't interested in being around that kind of behavior. It's far more important for you to deal with disrespect than to worry about her friendship. And this has to be done *at the time* she does it again. You can't deal with it retroactively.

Answer 2

i wouldn't worry about loosing her as a friend, why would you want a friend that behaves like that?

sorry if this sounds harsh, but really... you don't need friends like that

find some new friends who have respect for people

Answer 3

confront her head on....make her understand it is something you will not tolerate. i am sure it isnt intended the way it comes out....but how will she know?

as her pal...you should tell her and hopefully it will stop

Answer 4

It is time for your husband to buy his own tools.

Answer 5

If she's being that mean and disrespectful, why is it so bad to lose her friendship?

You never know, she could just be gossiping about you behind your back. Personally, I'd kick her a$$ just in case she is, but that's just me.

;]

Answer 6

I would not worry about loosing her friendship. If she cannot respect your husband she is not worthy of your friendship. She may secretly want him... I would personally confront the issue with him present in a calm manner and allow her to explain herself if she feels necessary. And this would also allow him (husband) to express his feelings as well. Get it all out in the open. And done like adults, if her behavior does not stop or change, then leave her alone.. She is not worth the frustration and aggravation needed to deal with her...  

Answer 7

Well, let me set the matter straight from my point of view.  Your friend is not your real friend.  If she would talk like that to your husband behind your back and say things like that about other people, then she is not a good person.  She is also a coward b/c she can't say what she really feels in front of you.  I would tell her straight out that you don't appreciate her talking like that to your husband.  She will probably wind up showing her true colors and then start calling you names.  I think that is what you are afraid of really that she will turn on you just like she has turned on others that she thinks of as inferior to her.  Her husband is a wimp also b/c he didn't say anything to her when she was talking like that.  Sounds like these trailer trash folks are your neighbors.  That's bad b/c if you start fighting with them they could make things really miserable for you.  So the only thing to do here as far as I see it, is have your husband quit borrowing anything at all from them, don't get into any arguments with them, just tell her that you don't want to be friends with her b/c she has been disrespecting your husband and don't say it in an argumentative way.  Just walk away and then keep your distance away from these people.  People like that will never change.  She might be a fun person to be around but look at what it has cost you.  She is coming between you and your husband and trying to stir up trouble. With friends like that, who needs friends???

Answer 8

Good grief, can't your husband stand up for himself?  Why does he have to tell you about this?

Answer 9

I would try to be more observant.  I would just confront her and tel her about it and that you dont appreciate her treating your husband that way, or just stop asking her over.  Maybe you shouldnt be friends if shes so 2 faced that way, you never know what she is saying behind your back.