Ok so now what ...update:S

Question

here is my original post from before...

Narcissistic mother?

hi my mom is narsisstic(spelling)...she never took care of me when i was little and just put me in front of the tv...when she left my dad and i...the only time she would see me was when he had money for her...and even then she didn't really pay attention to my sister and I...just sat us infront of the t.v....i lived with her last year...and she stole alot of money out of my bank account while i was in the hospital...she also put my name of a union gas account with no intention to pay the bills (i did not know about the account...until i found an unopen bill that was 3 months old)...so i had to take her to the police and then moved back with my dad...she didn't even care...she showed no remorse for what she did...any of it....before that tho when i was little she stole alot of money from her work and had to go to jail and the police officer who came and got her said she showed no remorse for that either....since the incedent when she stole my money...and i left she has made no attempt to call or write or anything at all...no birthday card or christmas or even a call to say merry christmas or happy birthday...the last time i saw her was at my work on christmas eve (i work in retail she was shopping) and i made eye contact with her and she gave me this cold terrible stare and i had an anxiety attack...i knew she didn't love me...but i didn't know she hated me :( ...is any of this my fault ...does anybody know anything about narcisissm?

thanks

marissa :(

ok so now... i wrote her a letter on face book pretending to be my friend...stupid stupid stupid i know that!!!..

she responded and i don't know wat to do now...i don't know if i should believe any of it...cuz she is very very good at lieing and making ppl feel sorry for her and manipulating...so i am lost need an outside point of view...thanks heres her response:

Hi Matt, Julie here: While I appreciate your concern for Marissa , you have absolutely no right to ask me any questions! The only one I will talk about this with is Marissa. I did not see her in Sears on Christmas Eve. When Marissa was living with me because she felt her father was the worse person in the world she quit Sears. If I did see her I would NEVER give her a "not so nice look" !!!!!! I Love my daughter. The last time I saw Marissa was when I was waiting for a bus at the City Hall and she refused to speak to me. The last time I talked to her was when she was in the hospital and she phoned me and told me she hated me and to go Fu** Myself. I have been in counselling since then and I was told to give her space, and that's what I did. Enough about my daughter. How dare you try and diagnose me. Because you did a stint in the hospital you are now an expert? I think not!!! I am the exact opposite of narcissistic going by the definition given to me by my DOCTOR!!!(who is qualified to say). Anti- Social disorder! Nope! Once again if you knew me at all and you don't you wouldn't have "diagnosed" me as that either.

Drug problem? Nope! Bad mother yes, but not for the reasons you've stated. I take complete responsibility for ALL of my actions. You said Marissa doesn't know you wrote me but I know that not to be true. So please reiterate to her I do love her with all of my heart and whenever she is ready to talk to me I am ready. I miss her immensely!!! So Mr. Diamond until you actually go to medical school and are qualified to judge me in the manner that you did please keep your advice to yourself!

oh and i think she is full of **** for some of it b/c she told "matt" that the sears thing didn't happen...but she knows it did we made eye contact for a good 5 seconds...

thanks in advance..

marissa :S

Answer 1

I didn't see the question so I'm not sure how I should answer it.

She is your mother.  She did say she love you and your sister and that she misses your sister.

If you want to know if you should see her, that depends on you and if you want a mother or not.

I would go see her but leave my money and credit cards at home.  It appears that she does have a sickness and that is steeling.  Now if she steels and is not aware of it, this does not mean that she is a bad person.  It means that she is a sick person.

Since she is your mother, you owe to her to get her the help she needs.  When she talks to her doctor, she doesn't know to tell him about her problem.

Good luck and blessing for the three of you.  

Answer 2

I cried when I heard this. I don't what to say. Just do not talk to your mom on facebook delete her and everything just ignore her. There will be no problem and just hang out with the people who love you!  

Answer 3

Ok, you already know that writing your mother under the pretense you were someone else was wrong. So I'll not touch that one.

What I think, is this. People, even parents, make mistakes. The only sure way to know if she IS telling the truth and has changed, is if you give her a fair chance to show ya one way or another.

Unless you're willing to do that, and give her a small benefit of the doubt, then let it go. I'm not saying forgive her of everything, or forget. But I do suggest you find out for yourself. You already know how she was in the past, so you know to be on guard, not to let yourself be hurt by her actions. But, you can at least try to see what she's like now. Who knows, maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised, and if she hasn't changed, and is still the same person she was before, you'll have the peace of mind of knowing that at least YOU tried.