Ok this is going to sound horrible?

Question

I hate kids! Cant stand them. I dont know why. People tell me im good with kids, and kids seem to like me. I dont know if its just that they are not MY kids, or what. Ive had people tell me that if I had my own Id feel differently. Is this true?

Or would I just make a horrible parent? I feel NO maternal instincts and appearently have NO biological clock either.

lol

Im not a bad person its just this makes me feel odd...like everyone loves babies, or kids, and I cant stand them. New parents show pics of thier babies, and im just like whatever I dont really care. Is this normal?

I only ask becasue my BF has been talking about children, and he says the same thing "its different when they are your own", but I dont think so. Is it? and if it is ...how so they are still kids.

Sorry this was so long its been bugging me awhile, and I just want to hear someone elses prespective, and/or experiences.

Thanks to all who take the time to read and answer.

Answer 1

I understand what you are feeling is normal for some people, but please do not have any children unless you are positive that you can make a life long parenting committment to them

Answer 2

Don't feel too bad.  I'm sort of the same way.  Before my daughter came along,  I was almost as you are.  Even now, my rule of thumb is that I typically only like kids if they're directly related to me.  It does change once you have your own, that I do swear.

Answer 3

I think what you are feeling is what many women experience. Before having my children, I wasn't interested in anybody else's kids. Okay, if I saw a cute baby on the bus that was smiling at me, I would smile back, but if friends got out their baby pictures, my mind would turn to mush through sheer boredom! I thought babies were cute, but I never wanted one! But, I knew that my life just would never be complete without children of my own, and when I reached an age where I literally had to decide there and then if I would have a family or not, I decided that I would try for one. Everyone is right when they say that it is different when you have your own - now it is me boring everyone senseless with how amazing my kids are! Not everyone is maternal, but a mother's love is, in most cases, instinctive. They become the centre of your world and you will soon be unable to remember what life was like without them.

Answer 4

It is different when you have your own.  Other peoples kids annoy me too sometimes!

Answer 5

It doesn't sound horrible, it sounds honest!

While you're always going to love your kids better than anybody else's, if you don't like kids you won't adore them from the second they're conceived--which isn't good.

If you don't want to be a mother, don't be a mother. Even if people tell you you'd be a great parent, you know how you feel about parenthood, they don't.

I know a man who would make an amazing father, but when I talked to him, in his head, he's not comfortable with that. Which would make him a crummy dad, even though with other kids he's as incredible as can be.

If you want kids, you'll know. And you don't seem to, so leave the parenting for others.

Answer 6

I grew up as the oldest of six kids and I had to take on a lot of the parenting responsibilities.  I always swore I would never have kids when I grew up.  I sat back as all my friends started getting married and had kids and I still felt the same way.  I couldn't stand being around screaming cry babies and would often leave a gathering early to avoid the kids.  However one day I chose to get married and along with that man I fell in love with came three step-kids that he has custody of.  So all of a sudden I was a Mom of three.  Three permanent kids!  I had a very difficult time in the beginning but I went to a parenting class and learned how to compromise on things such as discipline with my husband.  Sometimes I still struggle with being a Mom but I'll tell you what eight years later things are still going well for us.  And his kids are my kids and I would do anything for them.  My Motherly instinct that was non-existent in the beginning grew and now.... there is no stopping me.  I strongly feel the same for you.  Having your own is different and that part of you will come out in time.  I still can't stand other people's screaming kids, but my kids are precious and worth every minuet.

Answer 7

i hate kids too and I have my own... I don't know if it makes me a bad parent or not I don't think so because i do what they need and I l ove them but I think it is only cause I have to. Not everyone is made to have kids and maybe as you get older it will come for you and maybe not. I sugest not having any though but don't worry your not the only one.

Answer 8

Believe me when I say that you WILL feel differently when it's your own kid.  I was the same exact way!!  I hated kids, I hated my cousins kids, I didn't want to hold the new baby, I STILL don't care to hold new babies, except my own.  My niece is 10 months old and although I love her because she's my niece, I have never held her.  I don't care to hold other peoples babies.  Doesn't mean I'm a mean person.  I have 2 kids who I kiss and hug and tell them I love them everyday and play with them and put them to bed, etc. etc.  So no one give me a smart a** answer and say that my kids probably get no love from me!  Trust me when I say that it is different with your own kids.

Answer 9

This is my experience....

My husband and I were together five years before I became pregant with our first child. We were not trying to have children at the time (I was on the pill plus we used condems). I was worried because I have never been a child person. My younger cousins and neices and nephews all loved me and wanted to be around me but I always wished they would go away.

I now have two children whom I adore. Yet I still dislike other children. When I am shopping and kids dart in front of my cart I become annoyed and curse at their parents under my breath.  I too could care less to look at pictures of babies...tiny little things that don't look like anything other then alien creatures.....

However just because I love my children does not mean I want to be with them all the time. I work full time outside of the home. They also spend on average one night a month at their grandparents so I can have some quality time with my husband.

I don't think any of this makes me a bad parent. I love my children more then life itself but I also need to have adult time if I want to continue to be a good parent.

Hope this helps some....:)

Answer 10

Do not have children if you are not sure that you want to be a parent to them.  There is no requirement to have them.  And, while some people do feel differently about their own children once they have them...  Some don't.  

You are responsible for living your life in the best way you know how, for yourself.  Be open minded & willing to change.  But, don't do anything that you don't want to do with it.

Answer 11

I'm the exact same way, I love kids as long as they aren't mine. i just don't want to deal with the stress of it. I don't care what anyone says after you have kids, that's it! All your time has to go to them, your money goes to them, everything. It's no more me,me,me it's them, them, them. And I just don't want to deal with it. I would get bored real quick and be ready to give them away. But at the same time I believe it is different because you'll have that love and caring for them. But I love being by myself and being able to leave and go when I want, plus I just cae more about my career then having a relationship or a family so that's just me. Maybe down the line I'll have one and possibly get married??? But I could care less.

It does change though when you have kids you care more for them.

Answer 12

Totally understandable - I have a friend like that she doesn't mind kids in small doses and doesn't ever want to have one of her own, it's just not something she has ever dreamed about. However if your b/f wants kids, i think it's only fair to open up to him and tell him how you really feel about kids and all. Some people have very fulfilling lives without children while others have as rich as a life with them- total personal opinion.Good Luck

Answer 13

I think you should rephrase your statement about hating kids. You were once a kid. Hate is a strong word. I have a son and I don't care to have anymore kids. I don't care for disrespectful kids. I am not big on babies either but that doesn't mean I hate them. You have no tolerance for kids because you don't have any and from the way you sound that is a great thing you don't.

Answer 14

Other peoples kids LOVE me - I pretend to like them, and I play with them - but all the time I'm thinking 'GOD' but I ABSOUTLY ADORE MY DARLING little sister, Gabriella - she's 3.

It certanly is different when it is your own family!!!!!

Answer 15

Maybe you should flap your wings.

maybe.

Tennis T.

Answer 16

I feel bad for saying this but my niece and nephews annoy the you know what outta me and I look at my own kids and say "Thank God they don't act like that". It is so much different when you have your own.

Answer 17

I'm not sure because you sound like you really hate children. sometimes other people's kids annoy me but that goes away. I don't know if you sound like someone that should be having children. that's only a choice you can make. if your bf wants kids then maybe you should talk to him about that before you get pregnant. but your mind may change if and when you get pregnant.

Answer 18

I always hated kids. They were messy and loud and so annoying. Then I had one and something changes, its really amazing because I never wanted kids or anything to do with them but I loved my son with all my heart and wouldn't change anything about my life I got three kids now and they still aggravate me and get on my nerves but I love them. Its not horrible to tell the truth about how you feel but don't have them unless you know that you and your BF are ready

Answer 19

Ya know alot of OTHER peoples kids do annoy people. I for instance find it so annoying the way this neighbor kid acts towards his parents. But what can I do about it. That kid is not mine. I am thankful that I have well behaved good kids and alot of people agree with me. Some people are going to tell you its way different and you will learn to love kids 9well your own) once you have them. But not all people ar elike that. You will never know the answer to this unless you have kids. But it would be so sad if you did give having your child a try and still felt the same about kids. So really I do not know what to tell you other than maybe wait or never have kids until you feel like you might at least love your own child(ren).

Answer 20

you're not a bad person if you don't like kids. and you're no less of a woman for not wanting them. honestly we no longer live in the age where a woman's job is to stay home and have baby's.

yes I do think the bond between parents and their children is a strong one but that's does not mean you need to have them so people can be proved rite.

look ultimately the truth of the matter is happy healthy kids come from happy healthy parents. if you don't feel that being a mother is want you want to do with your life then don't be pressured into it. there are many children of parents who didn't want kids in the first place  that would be better off if their parents had just been as honest with them self's as you seem to be. GOOD for you.

Answer 21

I hate kids, too! I really do, not sure why. I had a great childhood, I love and respect both of my parents, I have an awesome sister who is also my best friend, and my boyfriend totally wants kids, but I am all set! I can't stand people and things you can rationalize with, I think that's my problem. Absolutely nothing wrong with you for not wanting kids. I'm in the same boat with ya.

Answer 22

If you hate kids, I seriously doubt having your own would change  that. It's true that dealing with your own kids can be easier in many ways (mostly because you can discipline them the way you feel is best) kids are hard work.

If you don't like babies now, imagine if they were keeping you up every night. Imagine if they were constantly making messes in your house, and giving you a headache by crying. When they're your kids, there's no break.

It's true, it's different when it's your own kids, but it's only different for the better if you're someone who loves kids and wants her own. If you already don't like kids, odds are you won't like them any better when they live in your house.

I love kids personally, and I can't wait until it's my turn to be a mother (well I can wait, and I will, but I'm excited for it), but not everyone is supposed to be a parent. If you don't like kids, you probably shouldn't have any.

Answer 23

I wouldn't guarantee it would be different if they were your own, just like I wouldn't pressure someone who didn't like dogs that it is different if the dog was your own.  Kids can be a real pain in the neck.  Yes, you would have protective feelings and love toward them, but that doesn't mean you would enjoy being a parent. Do not be pressured into having children if that is not something you are convinced you want. (I always really liked kids, but to be honest, there are some moments that I really want to get away from my own!)