Okay, so me && a friend have a bit of a disagrement on our hands about this VERY unlikely event?

Question

We was reading a magazine artical about a baby that had been found in the woods but had sadly passed away because of the situation and illtreatment. So we all got talking about this and other things similar to it, things that are possible in life and things that are VERY far from possible, like this crazy one...

Somehow we came over this 'what would YOU do moment' and one of my friends came up with this:...

Your an adult of over 20years old and are doing well with money and life, you have moved to a new town and know nobody and they dont know anything about you either, however your walking along and you find a abandond baby. It's alive, but obviously not well kept. There is a note that reads 'My name is_____and i am____months old, my mother was scared and couldn't take care of me she's not local so don't bother searching, please take me'. Your heart melts and you know that you should call the police and the social. It starts to cry so you pick them up to comfort ir, you feel ''right'' and know that you should contact someone very soon however!....

You suddenly get a crazy idea...

You think, i want to keep this baby and treat it as my own because nobody will know the difference because you are new to the area. You take the baby home, and clean her/him up, giving them a bath and wash their clothes.

In your mind you know that you should have called the police right away but your heart can't let go of this baby. You think clearly and make your way to the local police station and on your way people are:

•Saying how wonderful ''your' baby is

•How good of a ''mother'' you seem

•Etc...

You start to go along with everyone and splash out of baby items, then the locals are bring aorund things, kinda like a 'baby shower'.

Time passes....you still have ''your'' baby, you created a story of how your a single parent etc and you are believed. Its about a year or two later....you think you have gotton away with it...life goes on and you 'know' you have gotton away with it.

So my point is :

Could this be classed as some kind of child kidnap? Or anything like that, because my friend thinks: That because no one will ever know the truth of what happened, you have gotton away with it scott free. You have treated it perfectly right, like any other loving mother would. So you have nothing legal against you. BUt i think different. [If people found out that is]

What do you think??? [I need help to settle this disagreement, so please help & thanks in advance.]

Btw i know it is like VERY unlikely.

No mean things

Answer 1

40 yrs ago thats what happend to me, i was left on a door step outside a house who were childless,

so did they do the right thing ?

yes they did and evern now we talk about it how my bith mum has lost out i haven i have a geat mum and dad

and i know if that happend to me then yes i would do the same thing as my mum and dad did.

Answer 2

You are living a lie, but there's no reason to believe you're definitely doing the right thing.  How do you know that the child wasn't kidnapped by an angry relative or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend and put in this position?  You don't.  The RIGHT thing would be to contact the authorities so that they could get to the bottom of the situation and get care for the child.  Keeping the child is a selfish action based on your own desires.  

Answer 3

Yes, this does count as child kidnapping. And yes, someone WOULD find out. Too many things require a birth certificate and Social Security (or Social Insurance for Canadians) number. It would be a very short time before someone realized you didn't have the proper documents, and you'd be in a lot of trouble.

A child needs to be adopted through official and legal channels, not just kept. The baby should have been taken to the hospital, and the police called. To do otherwise isn't loving, it's plain irresponsible. Social services may later place the baby, and the finder may decide to adopt-- but it's a legal process.

The baby might not have really been abandoned, but might have been kidnapped, and the parents may be frantic not knowing what happened to the child. The bad treatment may have been by someone other than the parents. You just can't know. The police are the ones to make that call.

I realize this is just a hypothetical, but just keeping the child without legally adopting or taking custody would be a really bad idea.

Answer 4

I don't know...I don't there is ever a way to "get away scott free". What happens when you need to enroll the baby in school someday. They require a birth certificate. To get a social security number you'd need to send in a birth certificate. You'd have to be able to fake all that.

You know it's wrong. You'd always know in your heart you'd done something "wrong" to get the baby. Why not go to the police, explain what happened, and petition to keep the baby. At least then if you were awarded custody, it would be legal and you'd never feel guilty or shame down the road.

I would say that without reporting it it would be considered kidnapping. It's not like picking up a $20 bill off the street that someone dropped. You know? And even that...if you found someone's wallet would you keep it or give it back. Me...I'd give it back. A baby's a bigger and more valuable wallet - DEFINITELY should give it back. No matter how good your intentions are...it's about the baby - not your good intentions.

Answer 5

Hi Sky,

I think deep down you know it is wrong to keep this baby.  Even your own words say "you have gotton away with it scott free."  This indicates an opportunist mentality with no regard for principles or consequences.

Babies are not finders-keepers items.  These examples of the way you said "IT starts to cry" & "You comfort IT" & "I want to keep this baby and treat IT as my own" & "You have treated IT perfectly right" sounds like you think of the baby as a thing.  This is a human being as you are, not a pet, not a possession, definately not an IT.  

You may think your deception could all work out well in terms of meeting YOUR wants and needs  (free baby - no "strings attached"). The largest factors you are failing to consider are the rights & needs of the child!  If someone were to do this to a child, they would be stealing their entire personhood.  Even if this child turned out to be a true orphan, it is arrogant to assume that you, a single 20 year old, with no preparation & no qualifications, would be what is "best" for someone else's child.  I have never heard of a person of your demographics being legally approved to adopt a non-related, healthy, newborn baby.  Your dishonest scenario would force that child to live a lie, lose their personal history, be robbed of their true identity, lose any chance to bond with natural family members, be deprived of their authentic medical information, heritage, religion, culture, etc.  Contrary to what you state, that is NOT what is good for a child.  Your idea of "treating perfectly right" is in reality, a cruel illusion.  It's morally wrong for your gain to come at the child's expense.  It is worse if you do not even recognize loss to the child.

Additionally, what you are contemplating is illegal.  It is taking the law into your own hands by trying to be judge for what is best for this child.  There are adoption criteria in place for a reason - for added safeguards to help protect the wellbeing of the child, & to protect the rights of the natural family members.  There was no investigation into the case to see if the note was indeed written by his/her mother.  Even if it was, that does not give you the right to permanently take the child away from his/her father or his/her extended family, nor to take the family away from the child.  

Furthermore, have you considered that in this day of DNA, it can easily be disproven you are the biological parent of a child?  What then?  As others have pointed out, you would not have the proper documentation required to pull off this scam.  How would you later answer to that child when this web of lies is discovered?

As for your detail of being infertile, that is totally irrelevant when it comes to who is best suited to parent this child.  Not only is infertility not a parental qualification, your brand of logic buys into the desperate mentality of infertility somehow rendering one more deserving of someone else's baby.  Sorry, the welfare of a child is just not about YOU at all.  

Anyone who seriously believes this would be an acceptable way to become a parent is very selfish.  It is even worse than the APs who try to permanently hide a legal adoption from the adoptees themselves.

In summary, your hypothetical question reads like a best fantasy for a PAP, and a bad nightmare for a child.  I hope this reply encourages your friend to rethink this.

julie j

reunited adoptee

Answer 6

I don't know about the US, but in Canada if you got caught their would more than likely be some legal matters involved. Even if you kept the letter that was found with the baby you have a legal obligation to inform the authorities. If you were willing and had the money to support the baby, then I am sure that any social worker in their right mind would let you adopt the baby.

Answer 7

I would absolutely take the baby home, feed, bathe, clothe her properly, and then call the authorities cops/cps.  I would then let them know that I could care for the child properly for emergency placement, and if they could not find the mother/father, that I would definitely be interested in foster to adopt.  But it is illegal to find and keep a child that is not biologically yours.  

Answer 8

That HAS to be SOOO illegal.

Answer 9

I don't think you could get away with this.  You would need to obtain fake documents such as a birth certificate and social security card to pull this off.  Definately not something I would ever do.  I would immediately turn the baby over to the police.

Answer 10

i think it would be okay to keep the baby. i wouldnt tell anyone especially not the baby when it grows up. noone would ever find out and you give the baby the shelter, food, care and love it needs. a happy ending!

wow thats alot of thumbs downs... O WELL

Answer 11

While I think it's a noble idea I do think it would be wrong and probably illegal not to contact authorities. Either way the truth would catch up to the child and caretaker and the child would eventually be taken away and put into the system.  

Answer 12

I would think whats in the best interest for the kid? Growing up in foster homes or with someone who would love to take care of it!!!

The answer is clear!

Answer 13

I would take the baby to my home, feed her, bathe her, and give her some warm, clean clothes to wear, and then I would contact the proper authorities.  I would make it clear that I wished to keep the child, but that I knew I was obligated to contact the police anyway.  Then I would begin proceedings to legally adopt the child.

If you were to keep the child without going through the proper channels, what would you do when it came time for her to go to school and you didn't have the proper paperwork?  If it were ever discovered what you did, you could risk losing the child later on and possibly face criminal charges.  It's not like finding a stray dog or cat on the street.  It's a human being.  Best to do it the legal way so there are no questions about it in the future.

You should rent the movie "Grand Canyon."  There is a scene with almost that exact thing happening.

Answer 14

If you are trying to think up plots for a made-for-TV movie, well sorry, hon, but it's been done.

Call the police or the ambulance, actually perhaps both. There is no other option.