Okay, was I rude to ask this question?

Question

There's a girl at my job who I thought was biracial or something like that, but you really can't tell what she is. I'm a curious person and have no problem discussing culture, so I casually asked,"Kat, are you black?". She seriously gave me this look like,"how dare you" then she said "no".So, I just simply discontinued the conversation.lol.. But, is it really such a "touchy" matter to ask if someone is Black or asking what ethnicity they may be? Surely that can't be that offensive or rascist. you know? So, I'm never doing that again,lol. But what do you think? Thanks!

Answer 1

its not bad that u said that

i mean if u dont know her race u could always ask!!!

Answer 2

Some people just like to remain private . They see asking questions as violating there privacy.

Answer 3

No you were not wrong. Maybe she gave you a weird look because she was confused, but there is nothing wrong with asking that. Sometimes people are sensitive about what people think their ethnicity is but I don't understand it and you did nothing wrong.  

Answer 4

I've had black people ask me if I'm black. It wasn't a big deal. That girl needs to take a chill.

Answer 5

she was wrong and rude whats wrong with being black?  

Answer 6

I dont think its offensive, but people can be weird. Next time you're curious, phrase it like, "what's your heritage" or something like that.  

Answer 7

I don't think you were rude but I can see why she was offended. You assumed she was Black when she's probably something else. You could have asked her something like "What's your ethnicity?" I used to get offended when people assumed I was Mexican or Puerto Rican just because I'm Latino....hope that helps.

Answer 8

Phrased that way it could sound racist to some, better to have asked what her heritage is.

Answer 9

She's an overly-sensitive person and there is no excuse for her wrongful response.

--

The political correct patrol is here!

Answer 10

She is a typical person who hates being black, therefore she calls herself something else.  Yet this same person will apply for an "affirmative action scholarship" and call another white person a racist.  It never ceases to amaze me how some minorities do this.  

Some Arabs and half Asians are like that too. It never ceases to amaze me how people like that "who claim to be so proud of their race" yet deny their heritage.  

My friend the best thing you can do is to stay away from her.  Why?  Because she is one confused "SISTAH"!

Answer 11

you probably shouldn't have word it that way. Its not rude but its kind of a personal question. You should have word it "What's your heritage or your background?" It may have been rude if you said it in a certain way..but I don't know.

Answer 12

NO----you were NOT rude, you just happened to ask the wrong person.

People ask me all the time if I'm Puerto Rican but I'm Italian.  I NEVER get offended.  Ironically MY children are biracial and they pass for every and anything!  I don't think the average person would be offended unless THEY were just racist!

Answer 13

it just depends on the person. some people are very touchy and over reach, while others are fairly laid back and can discuss things easily. i dont think you were wrong

Answer 14

people will only take offense to such a simple question if they're ashamed of what they are.  

Answer 15

I think it maybe a touchy subject for some people whose racial origins are not obvious.

This could be for many reasons.  For example she may not like that her identity is not clear so gets annoyed when people have to ask.  Perhaps she doesn't know who both her parents are.  Maybe she thought you meant like really black.  If you were to sugest someone was hispanic when they were actually Italian they could take offense for example and not because they were ani hispanic but because they are proud Italians and want people to recognise that side of them.

For this reason your question was delivered tactlessly.  There fore was rude.  It's just common sense hun.

Answer 16

- No it was not rude

Answer 17

i think you could have said something like im (whatever race you are)

what r u ....and then saying mabey we could be the same ..............................or something like that

hope i helped

Answer 18

Not at all. I think she's overreacting

Answer 19

I'm Creole, but consider myself Black.

People ask me what I am all the time.

It used to bother me but I realize that they are just curious.

I like being exotic!

Answer 20

Some people are sensitive to it. I have no problem if someone asks me if I am a foreigner. I think it's pretty obvious. I do however get annoyed when people think that i "talk so cute". I am not bu nature a sweet and cute/quiet kind of little girl person so having someone non-stop go "come here, listen how she talks, isn't is just so precious!!!" like I am some weird extra terrestrial creature is pretty darn annoying. Other than that yeah we can talk about how I am different and all because of being a foreigner if someone wants to.

Answer 21

Well, I wouldn't be offended, but with my green eyes and red hair I'm unlikely to be asked.  (Of course I could be bi-racial, but it wouldn't be obvious from my appearance.)

I dunno.  I can never tell what people's ethnic origin is unless they tell me.  I had a friend who was partly Chinese and I had no idea for several years.  I had another friend who I thought might be of Italian origin and it turned out she was half Indian.  

I don't usually ask because I'm not usually curious about it.  But if I did ask I might be more inclined to say something like, "Your skin is lovely.  Did you grow up in (name of warm place)."  And if they say, "Well actually I'm biracial" then fine.  Or they might just say no.  

Maybe asking someone straight out whether they're black is awkward because they wonder what difference it makes to you...

Answer 22

Some people are just miserable.

Don't let her me you feel embarassed or anything. You asked her a simple question "are you black?". In no way shape or form is that racist.

Answer 23

it just depends on who ur asking the question to cuz some people will always take offense to it. idk

Answer 24

No, the question was not rude. Better to ask rather than assume. Also, I think by you asking about her ethnicity she showed her true colors. She sounds like a s***k b*. I can't stand salty attitudes.  

Answer 25

I have been asked about my ethnicity a thousand times as a light skinned Black person, and I realize that people are curious in this race obsessed country, I dont find it offensive but I know people who feel it is not polite to ask. Ususlly when Im curious about a person's ethnicity I just listen to their conversation and what they say can give you clues.

Answer 26

psh,no she was just bein sensitive

you didnt do anything wrong

Answer 27

Not that I know of, it's not as if you used a derragotry term.

Answer 28

in the extrema... regardless of the "color" mentioned... way wrong way to go about it... unless you are a whole lot closer to some one than that you should never ask such a question... Toooooo crude