Okay I need some serious help!?

Question

My sister was told by a judge she was not a suitable mother (She let her boyfriends abuse my niece and neglected her and was never around)and would have to put her 3 year old with another realtive or into foster care and couldn't see her daughter until she was 18. I fought for custody and won, so she now lives with me.

But I got a call from my lawyer and he said that my sister's lawyer had just called him and she wants her daughter back! She says she has gotten help and now is going back to school and is going to get a degree in teaching.

I will be fighting this, but out of curiostity, is it possible my sister can get her daughter back after the painful past? I have given my niece a very nice time at my home and have provided more for her then her mother and she feels safer with me. Sometimes my niece calls me Mommy even though she is aware I'm her aunt. HELP!

Answer 1

talk to your lawyer about the statutes that your state has regarding custody.  you have the benefit of having provided a good loving home to your niece, but you didn't say how long. one of the most important factors is that your niece is in a stable home. even if your sister has made the changes she says she has, the judge will wait to give custody of your niece to her to make sure that she remains on the right track.

however, if your sister has changed who she is, and is able to provide your niece with a stable loving home, you should not begrudge her that. give her the chance to be the mom that she wants to be to her daughter.

Answer 2

If Danielle decides that she wants to live with you, most courts/judges will accept this and let her.  Just tell the judge the truth but she may get custody back... Get a good lawyer and tell the truth...

Answer 3

You know this shouldn't even be a fight anyway. It don't

matter.That's your sisters child and not yours. (true)  If your sister wants the child she bore from her own womb, it's her right. Like you just said, your not her mother your her aunt.  Everyone can change, and we need to give everyone room for error. No mother,  or father,  should ever be denied to see their child. Until that little girl says with her own lips " I don't want to see you",  then okay.   And what do you mean : "I will be fighting this?"............. you two are sisters!!!!

Answer 4

Well I think it is possible for her to get her back, birth parents always get second chances but I hope your niece gets to stay with you.

Answer 5

That is truly sad that you and your neice have t go threw that good luck I hope you win the case.

Answer 6

Biological parents are given a huge advantage over adoptive ones.  Sorry, that is the way it is.  Try to mend things with your sister and maybe joint custody without the court battle.

Answer 7

Sadly, your sister may get her back. It seems biological mothers 'wants' are more important than a child's needs, and judges return custody to them too often.

Answer 8

It is most definitely possible and if she has completed a drug or other rehab, is now clean and working and trying hard to make everything alright, and has been through parenting classes, it's very likely she get her back. Bless you for taking care of her and may everything work out the best for the child.

Answer 9

I am sorry to say that it is possible.  You are a wonderful aunt and I will stop typing and start praying for your niece right now.  I hope that things work out for the best interest of your niece.  Keep strong as I have seen this work in the favor of the one doing the real mothering (namely you).  I have quite a few friends who have been down your path with success.

Answer 10

It is a possibility that your sister could get her back, but if you talk to your lawyer and maybe your sister and try to reason with her, she may see things from your side. If you know the cycle and routine with your sister, then I would strongly suggest talking to your lawyer and finding out what is the best solution for the better interest of the child. Maybe if it helps have Danielle talk to the lawyer and tell them how she feels.

Answer 11

If you legally adopted the child (as in your sister signed over legal rights and Danielle is now considered your child), then your sister cannot just take her back.  For the sake of the child, it's a good idea to let her have a relationship with her mother once your sister is clean, has a job, and can be a responsible role model.  If the child is living with you as a relative or in a foster situation, your sister can petition the court (and will most likely win) for custody of her daughter once she can prove that she will be a stable parent.

Answer 12

i feel your pain in this i hear this a lot. unfortunetly laws don't alway protect the inocent. if her mom really cares for her she should have to prove it to her own daughter first and respecting you for taking care of her. your niece should go with her own haert and thoughts, even though she is so young. if your angry or up set, remember your niece is watching and listening.

Answer 13

Do you just have guardianship or did you adopt her? Most of the time, if the mother shows real improvment and is serious about getting her child back and goes to all the required classes..then most judges will award the child back...I have seen it many times. The only way that a child wont go back is if they were to be adopted...did your sister have her parental rights stripped away?

Answer 14

It sounds like you sisters are not in touch, so you don't know if her turnaround is well-established or even for real at all.

I don't know how it will sail in court, but if I were you, I'd want to be sure that any shift in custody starts off slowly and highly defined, controlled and enforced.  Visitation progressing over to time to overnites with Mom seems sensible.  

It seems a little suspect if your sister does not want to start by renewing (re-inventing, really)  her relationship with her daughter first...

Forgive me, but I do wish I'd seen the word "love" somewhere in your post, though.